Time Marches On??? *Time Dao*

The equation of time found on Wiki.

I suppose for those self important scientists this is a great achievement, for those people who don't care it is a chain, and for those of us that reject the reality of the common person and substitute a different form of thought it is a constant fight.

Equations like the one above causes much destruction without many people realizing it. Think of it before these equations how much simpler was life. You woke up with the sun, went to sleep during the night, planted your crops according to the seasons and lived life relatively non-rushed.

Ah society though is now chained in time, Time provides a circle of numbers, that is unchanging, uneventful, and slowly we come to forget the relevance of time because we wear watches, or look at the computer or wall clock for the time. We no longer live the day, we watch the day go by.

We rush time to get off work, we stress because of the time it takes to do a task, we create car crashes because we speed do to time. Today we have schedules, and we must fulfill duties according to time, but what about the older days.

Back then people made time for each other, they were not pressed to do this or that. They performed their duties on the farms and when those were done they would sit with neighbors and friends and enjoy the time they had. They never had to schedule the time to do something.

Back then time did not exist in the since that it does now. Past, present and future were allowed to mingle together without as much friction. Past and future was merged into the present during those days. Today we focus on the future with a 1 track mind, planning and plotting our course through the sea of time. Back then people did without what they needed not what they wanted.

Someday I will return to the old ways. I will drop technology of modern day and go back to the field. I will be able to enjoy my day working the ground, raising a crop and not worrying about the time, nor the rushing of things.

I will be able to feel a true breeze upon my face without trying to feel it. I will be able to hear life at night, without the corrupt sounds of humanity. The light of the moon giving a full unobstructed view of the land. Time takes away from such things, it is not scheduled to enjoy the simple things in life and in turn you forget about them due to that chain of a schedule, and the demand of time.

Pride and Honor the Justification of the Blind

Oh my pride and Honor. How blind one leads life with these in control. Tho Dao speaks out against such things as they lead to the complete opposites as well. If you have honor then in your self serving honor you will commit dishonorable deeds. One leads to another and one is the same as the opposite. The birth leads to death and death begins life.

The blind cling to honor, pride and self elevation, for that is what pride and honor is about, it is for the self elevation of oneself. And if one thinks in terms of self then one separates themselves from the whole. A fraction of the pie, a piece of the cake is not as grand as the whole.

With pride comes another subservient blindness, that is a demand of respect. Respect should never exist as it separates the way one should act with the way one believes to act due to pride and honor.

Should I open a door any different for a president than the common stranger? Should respect and position matter to anyone. If respect is present then disrespect is not far behind, if pride and honor is present then rage is closing in. If one cares about positions then they have lost the reason that position should exist in the first place. The teach should be a student and the student become a teacher, only in doing both at once can one truly say they have mastered the art of teaching.

Only by truly caring about the student can one truly give the wisdom. Instructions are easy to give, but the wisdom and life philosophy is nothing without the action of the heart. Empty words falling on pride filled ears.

Due to respect the words are just shut out, and no words said to the one teaching, with no words spoken back not information given to the teacher to learn from, without the symbiotic relationship of teaching and learning the teach can not teach, the student can not learn, and all due to the blindness and deafness which pride causes, honor is hurt, and the road becomes an impasse.

Center thyself, become whole, drop the blinding ideas of pride and honor, of rage, and anger, of hopelessness and hopefulness. Live for all and in that living accomplish all that you need to by not lifting a finger for your own benefit. Become the ace in the deck of cards, your only goal is to make another person win, to present a opportunity in life for others to take. In the end the person states I got lucky, or I made it happen. The credit goes elsewhere, and elsewhere it should, as no matter how you present a thing humanity sees it as self raising, and self importance. Why does one need credit to perform a good deed. Why does one need to give respect in order to receive it. Why should one earn respect if one respects everything equally. If respect and disrespect are equally given to all then no respect and disrespect can be obtained.

Pride deafens those from a gentler life. Pride demands a bigger paycheck, a fancy house, a title in life, respect of others. It demands on throw away people without remorse due to a self interested honor code.

What is right is also wrong. What one sees in life is not the complete picture. The artist hides many things in each painting and only after hours and hours of looking may one find the many details of the picture, but looking at the picture as a whole and one can certainly smile. Why not understand the picture in its entirety, instead of looking at it in sections. Throw those people to the curb and sections is what occurs.

Remove the limiters and people become mindful of the path. Teach them to give and they will learn not to take, remove the separation and one can only but become whole. What is good, but the beginning of evil. What is evil but the opposing force of good. In who's eyes states this is good and that is evil, when another may say the opposite. A fight of pride and honor looms in such ideological separations. What is day without night, does the each change it's shape at night, or disappear in the darkness. Is the ground still ground, and sky still sky in the day and night? So can you separate the two or say it is just a passage of nature.

Pride what a blinding ideological destructive force. Honor just leads to fights and arguments. Both lead to a sense of justice instead of a sense of wholeness. Sense of justice can lead to a path of destruction for those that could with a since of friendship and of concern can be shown a better life style. Pride and Honor what use has it really served you. Do you need them to live true, do you use them as a crutch to do what you want to others and justify it with these concepts, to self elevate your own position. To seek out the common ideas of people and use them to elevate oneself is to become bound by those very ideas.

Anger and Rage the destroyer of balance.

A note I read earlier tonight on a linked person's page from the social sites. It brought to my consciousness the anger and rage people tend to have. Rage, and anger unravels the balance inside one's self. Not only does rage and anger strip you of your own free will, your own control, but it adds the lethal stress factor upon the life.

Suppose anger clouds judgment too, rage blinds the eyes of truth, and obscures the right path. Generally when people get upset they throw away a good opportunity to make things better, or set something into motion that can be beneficial to all. How many times in my past did I let anger get the best of me, blinded by rage, not knowing the correct path to take? Too many and in the end it cost so much for the payment.

If your in a position to teach, or advise, or are a close enough friend to a person that has an issue with something that goes against your own self interest then there are many things to consider. You first have a choice in your mind, do you see the way or do you become angry and allow rage to blind you. Do you get upset and cast the person aside to protect yourself, or do you go the path least traveled and try to help them realize what they are actually doing?

Do you teach them moderation, or just to stop totally? Would it be honorable to throw them away as a hopeless cause just because you can easily say your more honorable than that and would not want that around yourself or your family? I think self interest is involved and the human reaction that we all so long to get rid of comes into play. The human reaction of emotion before thought of others, the emotions of acting out instead of preserving others. It is not really all that bad to help someone going down a path of destruction to come out of that path.

If your afraid of the dark you can ever really appreciate the light, can you? If you have never traveled on a dark road how can you appreciate the path of light you try to lead? Selfish is what I believe it to be. Hide it behind any excuse and form of self righteousness and honor you want but in the end you commit dishonor, and disgrace from the path, the way, and the arts.

If you meet a rogue and give him no chance to crawl out of the lower depths of society then chances are he will fall lower and lower, decreasing what restrictions he would do in order to survive. Yet casting the person out was righteous, was justice, was honorable? I suppose I just live in a different reality since that day, but I still feel the right thing to do is to help with not really wanting anything in return. Only thing I have ever wanted my students, my friends, and my apprentices to do is to help others to lift them out of the downward spiral that a person is going through. Guide them to a life they forgot they could have if they just tried to obtain it.

Do people respect me, respect my writings? I don't think so, but it does not matter really to me. I used to be told that: "You have to give respect in order to receive it?" This to me is wrong, you are giving something only on the grounds that you gain something. I have heard that you have to earn respect as well. But why should I yearn for respect, If i have respect then there will be disrespect that follows it. So why should I let respect cloud my ego. If no one respects me then no one can disrespect me.

If your brother, or sister, father or mother was a drug addict would you give up on them and call it honorable? No it would not be honorable, but you can easily give up on someone that is not a relative. Tell their parents, kick them to the curb and wash your hands of it right. Why not go the correct way if your in a position of teaching, or advising. Teach them how the path goes, help them find their way, and assist them every step. Be their crutch for as long as it takes, tell the parents, tell the friends, get as many people to help be a crutch until the day comes where that person is no longer in danger. Get rehabilitation setup, visit the rehab to check up on them, do what you can to guide them, not just toss the people away.

But anger and rage cloud the thoughts, anger and rage blinds the eyes. Anger and Rage hide the path, and pride throw that in there with the sense of self righteousness, for they justify allowing the anger and rage to remain, to make it feel that the right thing was done.

Yet in the heart, deep down in the soul, a little circle of dignity or life is crushed because there was nothing more done, that there was no attempt to try to save a human life, and that maybe if you think about it, maybe they came to you because they did respect you in their own little way. Maybe just a little they cried out for your help, but anger and rage made your ears deaf to the indirect cry.

Without balance were is the human soul but swallowed by darkness. If help is not offered to those falling into darkness from those that can help, wouldn't you think the darkness would touch them just a little more each time.

Live life as the water, don't swim against the current but with it, bend like a reed and one will find, there is not much that can stress you out. You will learn that others well being is far more of a concern than oneself. If you get there then you will know, if you feel it then you can find the bliss of a whole different world. If you want it, you have to live it, if you live it then you no longer want it. If you live it then it is completed and no longer there.

We live life as an illusion and occasionally the masks come off, and when that does someone will be there to spot it, if it is for the light or dark or even shadows of both, a person will learn of it one day. All past sins, all past path deviations will be accounted for in the ends of ends.

Murderous Intent

After doing some Tai Chi today meditating during movement and meditating outside with the reverse blade sword I came to some realizations from past, present and future. During my youth there were times when I was seriously on the edge of destruction, seriously letting my anger, jealousy, and my own sense of immortality control me.

A sense of honor cloudy the truth, a sense of pride made it easier for me to hide behind that cloud. Fighting, struggling, and essentially all that leads to destruction of something in life. But doesn't destruction lead to constructing a new beginning. End and beginning does not exist without each other.

My Chi level is increased things are clearer in this state, things are easier to comprehend during these moments. An image of a friend comes to mind, a confrontation between strangers and himself. The scary part is that the friend had murderous intent during the conflict, a man that possesses skills in the martial arts, but no sacred joy of life back then. A person driven by giving fears to others. Myself drawn into the web during those younger years.

Was it that I was being controlled back then, or was I using him to hit the darkness quicker so I could find the light? Murderous Intent is never right, death only leads to a conflict in the soul no matter the reasoning, death that does not happen naturally goes against the way.

Caring for a stranger, wanting to help a stranger is more beneficial to that stranger than conflict, or murderous intent. Just because you have the power to take a life, does not mean you should use that power, instead if you have gained the power to take life, I say find the power to protect life.

My power is not my own, everything I have done in life I really have not had self interest involved in it. My relationships ended for reasons I was able to foresee. Don't believe me, look around you now, are you happy, do you have someone you can say you truly do enjoy life with? You came to me for a reason, a way to grow, I gave what growth I could and when I foresaw that it was time I let go. Though I am not saying I don't love you all, but growth sometimes happens with a little loss. Loss can become a great stage to rebuild upon, to strengthen your internal commitments to your happiness.

Some of them was lost when they came, others needed a darkness to be seen in order to run toward the light, others yet just needed someone to help during a tough stage in life. Did you know that each strand of smoke from something being burned lasts a different length of time, some are short and disappear fast, some long and takes time to disappear, but both regardless gives off a great fragrance of the incense.

How long has it been since I knew what I wanted, do I even know what I want now? Is kindness in the world too much to request? Is a sense of belonging more than I can hope for, but I belong to all in a manner of speaking. I belong to the greater sense of all. Murderous Intent is faded from my life, many many months ago. Nothing is worth taking a strangers life. Used to be I would say that if my family was hurt I would start to go berserk and kill. But that was a cloud as well.

Truth is I wanted to kill, I wanted to see the red rivers of another person drip from their flesh, but time marches on, I think what I really wanted was to stop life, stop the pain, stop the harshness of people. Now walking on this path, I see what all people want but are afraid to admit. They want happiness, they want peace, and they would very much want you to allow them to fit in. They would like to give up self interest, self preservation, self gain, if it made those around them happy, if only someone would take the first step. If only someone would give in to their own fantasies of that type of life.

A life for others instead of self. A life dedicated to the happiness of others, regardless of the pain they felt, the heartache, and the torment they see others commit. But one person can not change the world. It was presumptuous of me in the past to think I could, especially using the darkness to engulf people, or to drive them to a better place.

I remember biting into an apple in my youth, it was so pure, so delicious. It was like mother nature giving me a piece of herself to wash away the cares, to allow a time of ecstasy and bliss cover me. If that is not what it was then why do I remember it so vividly. I remember eating water melon as well. The sweetness of her breast, the caring and the sacrifice of both nature and humanity growing them a compromise to each other, but not a compromise, more of a collaboration of effort.

The lesson is there, but we cast a blind gaze to the lessons, we wait for one to guide us, we shun the change, we change the change to benefit self interest, and yet life is lost due to this self interest. Cast a gaze at our current war, our current way of life, and tell me you are happy with it, yet in daily life we do the same thing on a smaller scale. We murder the way, we murder our humanity a little bit each day, and we murder ourselves without realizing it. Murderous Intent has clouded many things, many hopes, many happiness opportunities, and yet we continue to march according to it's tune.

We disguise it as religion, we form conflicts with the words justice, and yet the only justice that should be recognized is the justice to live, the right to save life not destroy it. A country founded by Christians, and yet our government does not follow the teachings of turning the other cheek. A nation founded on faith of a god, and praising through hymn, prayers and yet they seek to go to war over a city called Jerusalem, both parties not following their own self guidance of preserving life, both religions founded by the core truths found in Dao. Kindness to one another, live for others. Give without self interest. Yet due to greedy men and women the laws of that religion have been altered, distorted or used in a way to cause harm.

I will leave it as that since my Chi is returning to normal levels. Since the time is shortened. Be happy with one another, for we should all live for the sake of others, and not for self interest, and not with murderous intent.

From the Depths *Neutral Dao*

Today I did some more Tai Chi. Moving meditation is always wonderful for sore muscles, pains and aches. Plus there is something on my mind I just can't seem to grasp around. Like a image that is obscured by gray smoke, I can see part of it to know somethings there but can not make it fully out. Or words that are whispered but my own heartbeat is pounding louder to obscure the words.

So I am returning to the Jade Cove in hopes that the image makes itself clear and the voice can be heard. Once again I used the term Caged last night in a conversation. I feel so locked down in this concrete cage. I can't seem to fly high enough, long enough, or smooth enough. The wind seems choked off at times.

Still the wind that does blow through has a nostalgic essence to it lately. An almost intoxicating fragrance, one that isn't really smelled as much as it is felt. Cold weather presents itself in the coming days, and as a snake I am very vulnerable to cold weather, it makes me tired, makes me cold, and makes me wish I had a bride, a girlfriend, or even a woman to share the warmth of their body. For now I will be content with what I do have, and try to further my goals of the Way but reducing the wants in life.

One venture gone just to lead to another, one life laid to waste to spring forth another, and yet the cycle continues. I guess I should be happy that I can look at her picture and not recognize her anymore, but would that not be awful of me to forget so quickly. Feelings I have but recognizing, loving her with all my heart, making life about her, these things are gone, they seemed to have died inside during the winter snow.

Yet for some reason I still feel like she is lonely, she is distanced herself from many people, and she is sad. I really wanted only smiles and happiness, yet she leaves and all I feel she has is sadness. Course the fake smile, the half-hearted attempts of looking like she is alright fools many people, but somehow I know, she is not how she appears. Somehow I know she is not happy. Yet in my heart I do not recognize her, in my heart I wish her happiness without me.

I will not cut my hair again, I will not change who I am for anyone. I will wear my duster till the day I die, I will wear combat boots until that day again. When my hair reaches my feet I will tie it up, when my old ragged body fades, what will it matter how I look. If people are weary of me and keep their distance what harm can I do to them, for those that brave a hello, what good can I give them in return.

The Zen that is playing brings me back to times where we sat on the pouch in the spring and listened to the frogs, crickets, and creatures at night. Talking and enjoying the night wind, the night light, and the night sounds. Back then an hour seemed like three, the conversation was not that deep but the enjoyment of the company was always felt. Those were the days back then, those were the days that I was free to be who I was, when was it all locked away, when did I cage up my emotions, my self, my core being. How come the wisdom stay behind unlocked and untouched?

As a child I loved life so much, I remember when my grandfather took me rabbit hunting. A rabbit dog is about the same size as a rabbit and at times can move like one too. I remember seeing the rabbit and the dog. My grandfather lifted his gun, took aim and killed the rabbit. At the time I was so small and the distance far enough away I thought he killed my dog. I cried at the time and my grandfather tried to comfort me, tried to tell me it was the rabbit, but still I cried, still I knew there was a loss of life. I was happy my dog survived, but sad still that the rabbit was no more. Later I grew up some and realized that the rabbit would be diner one night, and the rabbit provided much more as it's last deed on this planet.

Some of the greatest joys I had in my life happened before coming to the cage. Mowing Grandma's lawn, smelling the fresh cut grass and then walking in it barefooted. Taking care of the animals, making sure they were fed, groomed, and watered. The day I found out that my dog had cancer, crushed me. She was a kind soul, she even raised some cats during her years on this planet. For Ginger was a very kind dog, one that put other creatures (except rabbits) before herself.

The garden was another fun task. Weeding, picking, and just plain old caring to help the crops grow. Corn, Green Beans, Strawberry, Zucchini, water melon, cantaloupe, potatoes, tomatoes, egg plant, cucumbers, and we even had an area with blackberries, and raspberries.

I came to the city looking for freedom, was lured in by freedom, and found a cage waiting when I arrived. I wanted to make millions, wanted to be rich, but found nothing but poverty awaiting. I may work and get paid well, but when in a cage your just as poor as one with no money, possibly even more so.

I never thought of such things when I was married, was I even alive during that time I wonder now. I made my life into something that others stated was the life. Urbanized myself, made more walls around my cage, but at the time I had a wife, a person to lay in bed with, a person to add a presence around the house, at that time that was all that mattered. Now, I am not so sure who I was, why I did the change I did, and why I let another person manipulate me into it. Tis the things I have done since coming to the city, allowed myself to be manipulated into things.

I don't know why I feel like I do at times, right now I am peaceful, calm and collected, but still sad too. I do not know why I care for the stray cat like I do either. It is not that I miss Ray Ray, or that this cat has even allowed me to touch it, but I care for it. I talk to it, and I feed it. I guess because like people, the cat made an attempt to judge me for my inside and risked trying to know me, instead of running away in fear. I guess I care about the cat because I see myself in it as well. I should name him, I guess but what name would best suit a stray black cat, what name would I be able to give a gentle creature that visits my door?

The cat will come into the apartment by the door while I get it's food in the kitchen, and then walk outside when he sees me coming. The cat is not afraid of me at all, but like myself he shuns close contact with others. I suppose that is what I see in him that reminds me of myself. Yet I do so care what happens to this cat. I do so want this cat to find a good home with a loving family.

Family, I thought I was building a family with her, I thought that was the goal, but what exactly is family. I have my brothers and blood family, but honestly I really do not know what it is to be family. My family was problematic by the time I was born, but I love and cherish them all the same. They maybe messed up at times, but I would do anything for them.

Guess I have been damaged so much early on, that all I want to do now is heal. To go to the beginning and begin to put ointment on the open wounds and heal them. Go back to the beginning and figure out what I am to do, where I am supposed to go, and who I am to be with. My ex-wife is just a face now, it will not be her I am destined to be with. Brina is happily married and although I love her to this day I would never wish any destruction of that happiness, or her husbands. If he has made her happy, he must be a good man, and I would not want to interrupt or take a happiness away from a good man, not like it would ever occur.

So I am in a place where I am rebuilding. A place after the end and before the beginning. Rebuilding a bridge that has not been kept up, rebuilding the paths back to a place I let overgrow with foliage. I remember a time when I would sit in the evening and let the cool breeze take all the negative from me and wash away my cares. The only way in the city to get such a wind is to go to a roof of a building here.

I remember a time my eyes were not so heavy, my body not so sore, and my mind was as sharp as Sun Tzu's sword. Alas the city, the trials, and the divorce has made those memories. I am sore today, I am forgetting more and more everyday, and my eyes are really heavy. I suppose due to the lack of keeping up with my paths, I have years of cleaning, clearing, and rebuilding to do before I get those paths cleared.

Still once in a while I admit I think of her. I catch myself hopeful that she is happy, hopeful she is not sad, and hopeful she is doing well in life. At times I feel like she is not and a frown comes across my face, but then like a wind the thought is gone. I held on to all my ex's, held on to all their memories and cared about their welfare since the day we met. Though at times it did not seem it, in the mental realm of the Jade Cove their welfare was always forefront of the cove.

Suppose life is hard for some people, and people have big issues in life. I am not regretful of my decisions for that is bringing me to where I need to go. A path starts out by one walking and clearing the way, eventually the person can go back and lay the stone to make it easier for others. First though one must walk a path never before traveled if they are to create new roads for others.

My path was meant to go this way, was meant to end up here for a short time, and was meant to continue on. Paths walked by me, where mostly dark roads, mostly roads none would travel, but the end result being the wisdom picked up from the travels. That wisdom is the concrete stones I can lay down for others who would like to walk a path free of the foliage, dangers, and hardships.

In the darkness there is always a light, and in the light there is always a little darkness. I understand that all to well. I can at least say I can burn my incense to the Buddha's, spirits, Daoist elders, and god forms of the world. I can once again have the great smelling fragrance encompass my house, and bring a nice peacefulness in with it.

Every night I say a little line before sleep, and today I will end this article with it.

Good night Sun Wukong, Good night Guan Kong. Good night Lord Lao Tzu, Confucious, and Mencious. Good night Jade Emperor, and Good night all heavenly Deities.

Shadow of Death *Death Dao*

“Life and death are one thread, the same line viewed from different sides.”
Lao Tzu - Tao Te Ching

I guess I have always been odd about death, for the longest time I sought out death and never found him. However now I do not seek death, but I do not fear it either. I still see it as a joyous time not a sad time. Course if you look at a coin people will immediately look at it from one side or the other, but not as a whole coin. They split it into sides.

I know it hurts when one dies, but many times people focus on the loss of the person not the deeds or the way they lived life. I suppose I look at the positive side of death instead of the negative. Hurt, pain, lose are all the negative feelings of a person passing. Love, reflection of deed, the joy they gave you are aspects of the positive. Although physically gone the memory and reflection of such times are still present inside the person.

Life is the beginning and Death the end. Everything in between is the shadows of life and death. It is this part that should be focused on during the passing of a person. The dancing of shadows of ones existence on this world during the time they had. The joy they spread, the help they offered, and the love they had. Why focus on them no longer being around, when there is so much more to remember about them while they did perform the dancing of shadows.

Irish people perform a Wake for those that pass. Americans are somber and down and sad. Why be sad, look into the life of those that passed. My father lived life, experienced a wide arrange of jobs, lived according to his own drum, and really loved his children. Why focus he is gone when he lives within my brothers, and myself.

Death and life is the same thread , but it is what lies between the thread that counts. The line of a person is measured in life and death, but not in what they brought to the world, why then do we feel sad at the time of death? Should not one focus on the things that life brought to the world, the joys, sadness, the humor and seriousness, the positive and the negative, all being the same person, the same being. Should not one focus on the being not the loss of the person.

When I pass on to the next adventure I would say that I want to fade away silently. I would rather pass with no one realizing it, there fore no sadness and no forgetting memory can be done by those that see the passing as a sad time. When I came into the world it was just my mother and father, and maybe my brothers, when I leave I would like to die as I was born. I was born as part of all things and I want to die as a part of all things. I am strong enough to die in serenity, solitude, and peaceful quietness.

The ones that know me know I see death as a darkness or a necessary evil, but as a new adventure or a part of a cycle. Those that don't know I pass can not be sad of the passing. Those that will know or find out should have happiness knowing I will die with a smile on my face, knowing that all I could give I did give, and all I could do I did do. Why should any of them be sad if I lived a full life regardless of the length of life. I danced in the shadows and eventually saw it time to sit and rest.

The point is this do not look at life and death as separate ideas, they are one and the same, they exist together, and without one the other does not have a chance to start. Mourn, but celebrate what the person has done for the world they touched. So often people forget the memories of a person, or they only surface when they are reminded of them, why not sift through the memories on a daily basis and keep the memories fresh, dust free, and alive within you.

47 *Hua Hu Ching*

Kind Prince, The confrontational Nature of dualistic worldly life is so unhealthy; the way of misleading religions is distorted, the way of materialism is cruel; the way of blind spiritualization is unreal. Chanting is not more holy than the murmuring of a stream. Counting one's prayer beads is not more sacred than normal breathing.Colorful religious robes are not more spiritual than plain civilian clothes. Therefore, relying on these superficial trappings of spiritual life will get one nowhere. The only way to attain absolute state of being is though embracing absolute Oneness and leading a selfless life. By anonymously contributing to other's lives one may burnish the brightness of one's soul and radiate virtue to the world. Imbalance may be created by overdeveloping the physical or mental aspects of one's being. Be calm, happy and content with your own being, and live only according to your true nature.
Kind Prince, it is impossible to escape the destiny you have formed by your past actions. There is hope, however, for evolving and transforming one's being. Those who have all-encompassing, universal awareness are able to take responsibility for their lives and for their environment.They radiate a healthy influence to others and illuminate the world's darkness. Their absolute virtue becomes a sanctuary, not only for themselves, but for all beings. Virtue is the only true power of life. Those on the Universal Integral Way are resolutely dedicated to their own evolution and also to the evolution of all beings. Their lives are a process of self-refinement and self-transcendence. They are truly an extension of the Universal One.
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Step by step we go through and find something in this. having duality is confusing, but we all do it in some degree. We separate mind and body. Separation of body and spirit. We even separate work and play. We create a dual world to live in, we are used to this, we are taught early on to think this way. If you put your being into your work, and your being into play time are you different? If not why separate them. Are you nothing but a mind, a body, a spiritual being? Or are you just a being trying to walk a path of the Integral way regardless of what you call it.

Misleading religion is stated. What is misleading religion? Name a religion and I am sure in some for it misleads. Not to judge any religion but to generalize all religions real quick. This group dislikes that group, that group is going to hell or the abyss, this group is out casted by all other groups, and when you boil it all down we are no different from one another regardless of a group. Control is what is boils down too, that and money. You can say amen till your blue in the face without living the way fully you are doing nothing at all. Strangers are starving and you pass them up on the street, or a person dressed weird holds a door open for you and your afraid to even say thank you, but yet your holy because you attend a religious facility.

Materialistic is cruel, look at Americans. Let me explain I am an American by birth and citizenship, but I can see it. You buy the big T.V. the house, expensive Jewelry for the wife/girlfriend, and realize you need more so you start charging it all, eventually you go bankrupt and still want more. Things eventually have to be sold and you end up not at square 0, but at square -1. Cruel way to think about the world of materialistic. There are such more fascinating things in the natural world. It is far Healthier to go outside and garden, or go for a walk than to eat on the couch watching American Idol. Did it cultivate you watching that scum on T.V., or will the walk / Gardening benefit you more.

Spiritualism without question is blindness to words produced by others. If I wrote a book and say the one true god wrote this and convinced you that it was true and demanded to follow the book without question, then how can you find your answers, Oh that is right, pray or go to the holy provocateur and find out what his opinion is of the situation. A divine insight of the reiligious provocateur. Follow religion blindly and religion may end up destroying the very thing in you. Your own Integral Way. Each persons Integral Way is different as well, the Integral way has as many and more different ways to live as there are people. Regardless of the way though their are commonalities in every Way, Kindness being one, selflessness, and contentment.

Kind Prince, it is impossible to escape the destiny you have formed by your past actions. I like this bit because I can use science to identify with it. The Law of Cause and Effect. Think of it this way, each decision you make can have a consequence. The cause being your decision the effect being the consequences. Destiny in the former sentence incorporating both the cause and effect in one unit. You can not escape it, but you can take the responsibility for the cause and take the effect.

If we live in duality then we separate from our being. If we see it as self, we separate from the oneness of all, if we see self then we shall be selfish. When realizing that we are the same can we do for others without failing the self. If I was to ask you to tell me all the times you were alone and happy and smiled could you do it? Can you remember every time you helped another person smile and became immediately lifted, immediately more happy? I bet you can do the second easier than the first. Why is this? Because the bond to others happiness is greater than the lonely stand of self happiness.

Update for Tonight

No new writings tonight. Got to focus on financials tonight, then read some of the Hua Hu Ching. Got to figure out an exit plan and see how long it will take to execute.

Zodiac

THE FIRE SNAKE 1917 AND 1977
Fire Snakes can be a bit loud, speaking their minds and smothering you with their opinions. This does add a twist to his dynamic and vibrant character, as he is quite the extrovert. These Snakes have a great wisdom. They are intriguing communicators who leave you breathless after a conversation. Fire Snakes can change even the most obstinate mind with their powers of persuasion, convincing you their opinions or ideas are better than yours. This does make them a little self-centered, but you can’t say they aren’t driven for success.

This does for the most part fit me, so does all the things stated at:
http://www.usbridalguide.com/special/chinesehoroscopes/Snake.htm

Looking at this I kind of feel like destiny has made me into the shy stand offish person I am, and yet I know some of the family affliction has a part to play in it. What makes me think of such things, look for such things, question myself. Well I want to know who I am, where I should go, and how to bend like the reed in a storm the easiest way possible. Snakes are calculating in manner so it says.

I have never been good at compliments, receiving them that is. I don't know when people compliment me I feel bad, I feel like they only say such things because they don't know the real me, only what I show to them. I guess I am looking toward the Chinese Zodiac to compare myself with characters in the anime I am watching. It is called Fruits Basket and you can find it on you tube.

Confucious said that "The man of honor thinks of his character, the inferior man of his position. The man of honor desires justice, the inferior man of favor."

While I used to believe in honor and justice and all that Jazz, I found through Dao that one is the same as the other. So the superior man and the inferior man is more alike than what people see. Honor spawns dishonor, justice spawns injustice. Choose to follow one and the other is sure to come into your life.

Unlike my zodiac sign, I am finding ways to change certain aspects of myself, change the thought style I have, and learn that a balance is needed. When being gentle, be strong in the mind. When fast moving, be slow in thought. When relaxing, remember to turn off the mind. Return to nothingness and the body will calm, the mind will slow and things that once could not be seen shall shine brightly.

Amazing how well the Chinese Zodiac is for people, pretty accurate when describing characteristics.

Friends. *Multiple Dao*

Life is but a dance of shadows, not of light not of darkness but a dance between the two. Tao Te Ching *Lao Tzu*

I have been thinking today about some various things, various ideas, conceptions, and various friends. Some are really dear to me and will be special no matter what, and others I really care about. So with no further ado down to the tributes.

I have a friend that used the term failure. The woman I used to know when I was a kid would never have settled for that thought. She was strong, she was defiant, and she went through life with her fists up in the sign of aversion. You know she is still there inside you, she still does not see you as a failure, and she does not see anything you have done as a failure.

You have a lovely little girl who is precious, you have many things in life around you so how can a person with all these great things view themselves as a failure. There is a great aspect to failing in things in life though and not many people see it.

Failure is a measurement no more no less, but it is a measurement of success. If you were to raise 5000 dollars or 10000 needed did you fail? But you succeeded in raising 5000 of it so it was not a failure, just not enough to accomplish the need the 10000 was for, but the 5000 could still be used and could be for a better cause than the 10000. Say you needed 10000 to pay an old friend off, but you ran into a person that only needed 5000 to save a child's life. Even though you may have failed in the 10000 you did succeed in saving a life. Where failure is present so too you find success. One gives birth to the other, and the other gives rise to another. In success gives the ability for failure and in failure gives birth to success.

Without one you can not have the other. In one you have the other. Nothing is perfect, nothing always goes just right, sometimes things can go wrong, and sometimes you can not control the circumstances. Bend like a reed during these times, let the times roll right over the reed and continue the course it is on, not letting it affect you. Where disaster hits, there is always a rebuilt house, a rebuilt life on the other side of that disaster. Focus on the end and nothing in the middle. Focus on the destination and not on the journey, for the destination is where you wish to go, not how you got there.

Never give up and never give in, if a stranger knocks you down get up and forgive them, and make sure they are alright. Those that care about others before themselves can be said untouchable, unable to be hurt, and pure. I don't see it that way, I see it as a true return to who we are. True return to understanding, loving, and balance.

When you feel like this again, hug the daughter, kiss the husband, walk outside and take a big deep breath and just say Thank You. Such a simple action can renew the fire within. Know that there are people in this world that love you for the simple fact that you are important.

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I have another friend that is starting a new beginning. The new beginning can be scary, fun, adventurous and a defining moment in life. A return to the old, a keeping of the new, and a throwing out of things you do not like. It truly is a great adventure. Brave one is to start a new, just remember if anything happens friends are around, but we can not read minds, please come and talk to us if you ever need to. We love you so much, and are glad your back. I can't wait to see what your version 2.0 brings to your kind heart.

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Another friend comes to mind. While I write. Though things in life we do with good intention, sometimes intention blinds the eyes and hurts those close to us. During my training, and my path I have a strong pull to be a gentle person, though I may talk gruff, I still have some rough edges to work on, but the path is not a destination, it is a journey. Do I have my goals set to a destination? How can one follow the path if a destination is the reasoning behind it. I have decided to live life betting myself, giving myself to others, and not take myself for myself.

When doing my arts, I practice with the idea of power but gentle kindness. When practicing with gentle movements, I put power in, when I practice power I put gentleness behind the movements. If something happens I wish to look at the simple idea that humanity does not act violent or harming by nature, but something occurred to spawn the reactions of anger, violence, and deceptions.

In time my dear friend, I wish you find all the happiness you want. Worry not what happens today to yourself, but worry for tomorrow for others.

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Life is hard, decisions can be a great joy, or a great sadness. Do I still love her, yes. Do I still want her, yes. Can I destroy lives to get what I want. No. I can only nurture what life has dealt. Bend like a reed and think of others. I have spent a lot of time to reduce what I have, and eliminate what I want. I only want 2 things now, and if I don't get what I want, then that is alright. I have come to the point to know that want is not a need, and need is always taken care of by the path. Humanity needs very little to live, and well you can have many things and call it living, but life is more than objects you surround yourself with. Life is experienced by putting others before yourself, and not wanting anything more than what the path has given to you.

My dear friends, if ever you needed me, I am always here for you. If ever something happened I will have my heart ready to give to you, if ever you needed me to just be there let me know and I will come. I care about your futures, and I care about your happiness. I am nothing without those I care about, so please don't ever feel it is a burden or your taking me away from anything, you people are my joy, my love, and my life.

Rough Edges

Sharpen a blade too much and its edge will soon be lost

Fill a house with gold and jade an no one can protect it

Puff yourself with honor and pride and no one can save you from a fall

(__Tao Te Ching__) Lao Tzu

A year has passed and though it seems like I have not done much to strengthen the way I live and walk, it at the same time seems more entangled with the Dao than ever before.

What has Dao shown me? How have I practiced Dao in the last year? A year ago I was back into the occult religions. I was focused on gaining for myself, and although I had a girlfriend I was not happy, I was very destructive to myself. I still have a savings although I am not as obsessed about money as I was, I am once again alone although it is bearable this round, and although I am still a little destructive toward myself it is not as bad as my past attempts of literally destroying my whole being.

A year ago I was obsessed with my Ex-wife, now I only wish her the best she can find. Dao helped me realize that somethings are beyond your control and if you look for the silver lining even a tragedy can open a door to a better outcome. Dao helped me realize the beauty in nature, not as a religious inlet but just for the natural beauty it holds.

Dao has taught me how to live in moderation, and how to sacrifice. With the ability to moderate the food intake, the luxuries, and the toys, I have come very far from the start of my old life. I have started to enjoy the quite and the calm of the mind when meditating, or doing moving meditation. Moving meditation has enhanced movement, muscle growth, and speed.

My temper rarely flares up as much as it used too, and the path has made me accept the fact that my marriage did not work out partly due to my own issues that need worked on. I also finally realized that I should not place blame on her or dislike her for her choice. When one makes a choice others should support that choice not criticize it.

My sleeping patterns have changed, no longer do I wake due to loss of breath, sleep is more restful than in the past yet not as restful as it could be. My wrists hurt less often as they did during those final months before divorce. The body has built mass, but retains the skinny look.

I still have much to do in order to obtain the path fully. I must still not fear desolation and see the abundance in things. Some rough edges still exist, but Dao is not over night and the edges that are still present, they are less harsh and less defined as they once were.

Speech needs to still be tempered, I am still pretty quick to talk at certain instances. Words spoken can be dangerous, but sometimes no words spoken can be just as bad. Times I wish to say more but am unable to.

All things to work on. Silence can be golden, but proper speech can be Jade. A treasure in the language, and a treasure of kindness. Well the block still has it's rough edges but blocks do not turn into masterpieces over night. Once the block is carved, then it will be another long journey to return to the un-carved block.

Outside Influence *Dao*

Darkness exists in all peoples hearts, it is contained, however by the moral ideals of right a person has. Sad to see though that humanity seems to be loosing the control over the darkness.

What causes one to give into the darkness? Religion, politics, an outer influence maybe? What is an outer influence? Some people in life just allows the darkness to consume them, others fight it off daily. Some loose the containment due to outside influences.

I wonder what your god thinks about you after you become an outside influence to another person. Just because you do not murder a person, does that mean your not guilty of the murder? What if words you spoke triggered the person to go into the darkness? Are you sure your still in the light of saintly virtue in your gods eyes?

How can you state you are religious if you criticize, belittle, make assumptions, or judge someone else by this or by that. Judge a person because of a tattoo, the way they dress, or body piercings, Criticize or make belittling comments, upon such things without knowing the person. What you don't comprehend is words are powerful for the just and for the darkness.

Words become one of the keys to outside influence in reality. How long must one hear the words "He will kill you, he will murder you", just because of the clothes one wears, but that person looses control over the darkness and submits too it? If you say such a thing, how can you state your safe in going to your other world area?

You know the person you make fun of could be the nicest person you ever met, however since you judge by looks and not by heart you loose the chance to find a great friend, or a great person to know. Not only that you push them closer to that darkness that no human should have to go to.

Careful in the future as words do have cause and effect. If dark words or evil words are used then you will eventually cause a person to cross over to a dark twisted place that has no limits. Actions are the same way as well. Careful as outside influences has payments to balance out the energies of life. If you become the outside influence, odds are you will pay with pain, life, or something entirely different but just as sinister.

Just some passing thoughts. *Not Dao*

It makes me worry at times, makes me think and at these times thinking is a dangerous place to be. Right now I could really use a release...
...
...
Today I realized I know very little about my oldest brother. I had to shop for a Birthday gift for him, and the sister in law just got so busy she did not call me and inform me what he would like. Not her fault really, I am glad it happened the way it did.

I did get a good present for him. I know he likes Asian themes and well he has statues of Buddha's and Kwan Gong in his living room. So I got him a Jade Buddha riding dragons. I thought the green would bring out the wooden statues out very well.

You know I really don't know much about my brother, see we suffer from the same disorders when it comes to people, even those close to us. It is not his fault and not mine as well, it is just the type of people we are. We live with it, and most the time it bothers us more when we have to be around people than being alone.

He found a good wife, one that can understand the type of person he is, and the personality of his. I may not come to the point ever in looking for another lover, much less a bride. I just don't feel right in it even after 1 year and x months. I really do not wish to put another person through it now that I have isolated my behavior.

Natural balance of things I guess. If I left the city and went back to life in nature then at least a job may be able to be opened for a person... At times I think I do not have a purpose, I feel I lost my purpose... I made her my purpose in life for 8 years, when you loose your purpose in life, and have the kind of marbles rolling around upstairs like I do you seem to loose it. You withdraw into a shell, you turn away from the world you were hurt in.

Thanksgiving is coming up, maybe that is a reason I feel this way. I always hated Swedish Meatballs since the first day I ate one 9 years ago. Thanksgiving though always had Swedish Meatballs, and all though I hate them I will remember them. I did at least always have Cranberry Sauce every Thanksgiving since I was a child. Around the corner from Thanksgiving is Christmas...

Although I never really liked Christmas, I celebrated it for her and the young one. I guess I will miss seeing him open presents I bought him. The odd thing is though, since my world crashed down and I went into my old reality, I don't remember details. I wouldn't know what to buy her son nor her. I would still not want to eat a Swedish Meatball, and I don't remember her beauty.

I know what she looks like, but the beauty I once saw I can not see anymore, I can't remember it. It is like the Body Snatchers movie, honestly that is about the best I can describe where I am. Sad thing is I am pretty sure she does not miss me, I would venture to say that but I am not sure about anything anymore. Well except the fact that I want to raise a farm, learn to rely on nature instead of humanity.

I know I have done many good deeds, and some evil ones too... I don't feel it though, I don't feel like I have done any good or evil in the world. I don't feel like I contribute either way, no matter what I do, no matter the smallness or the bigness of the deed it just doesn't register.

10 years ago I was living with my brother and sister-in-law, 10 years ago started the body snatching. When I met her I changed, I cut my hair, made life about her and screw everyone else, I was business, and I dreamed big for her. I spent money non-stop on her and her son. Waking up I am realizing I miss spending money on her. I miss going to Zales and buying diamonds for her, I miss buying her little gifts. These are the things I remember after the snatching. I guess if the money is there why keep it for yourself, spend it on another.

So I met Ms. Allysa after the divorce. I love her for the simple fact that she is pure in heart. She really loves life. So I want to spoil that child. I want to spoil my nephew too, but he is rebellious because of the teenager in him, so it becomes a little harder in doing that. When spoiling a teenager you can only do it under certain requisites or the lessons of life are not taught.

So my ex-wife's loss in me giving her gifts are others peoples gain. Still I am a banker and I keep my savings and financial in order for future use if need be. Just the idea of giving a gift and spoiling someone is fine though it handles the need I had when I was married. Just now it is other people that get it. The reason I do it has always been the same, always will be. If I have it to give I give it. If I do not have, I will live through it until I do have it to give. What do I get, well I would not say happiness but they are the times in life I truly feel connected to. The rare times when my smile is truly heart felt.

Most of the time my smile is caused by auto-pilot, not by the heart. A coma is another way to describe what it feels like. Although I function in life I am not really truly in the moment, my emotions, my feelings, my core self is tucked away on vacation. I think maybe that is the reason I can't pick up a Cisco book and study. I used to love routers, switches, and networking. Now I have no true interest in it.

I do miss my ex-wife, and I do miss the boy, but if it was something I could have prevented with marriage counseling then the divorce would not have been done. So I know there is nothing I can do but to move on. If you can call it that. I am back where I was 10 years ago in many ways. No desire to have a girlfriend, no desire to get married, actually no desire to do or have anything really. Nothing is there in me, an empty shell if you will. Not that I am unhappy with that, but I am not happy about it either. It is a No Comment type of action.

At least this Thanksgiving will be one more back to normal. No Girlfriend, no wife, just Filipino food, American Food and a big crowd of Filipino Family getting together. I don't really feel I belong or feel like an outcast, but at least it is familiar and I am comfortable being there. So many Thanksgivings I felt out of place, I felt confined and I felt anxiety.

Still debating on emailing her and wishing her a Happy Thanksgiving? It does nothing for her really and is just harder on me. Maybe I won't, I need to just let her go fully from memory and from my life, but she was my wife which has a giant hold in my upbringing too. I don't know, more than likely I won't I have to be in good spirits and enjoy the holiday with family and if I email her and get depressed even more than what I normally live with, it will not be a good holiday.

In another place, In another time *Neutral Dao*

The Daoist walked in the Cove that one spring morning, listening to nature wake up, meditating on the sounds of the cove. Relaxation always came easy in the cove, things moved slowly time seemed to circle ever so slow.

Being content with the surroundings, listening to nature, and watching the animals play, survive, and interact with one another was the best choice the Daoist made when he left the busy city, busy job, and busy life.

Then a voice came like a dream, a voice from that past long ago. First anxiety hit for a dream it seemed like, then a calm came when he realized a different pitch, a different demeanor in the voice.

The circle of time continues to form and sever connections in life, only to occasionally reform the connection later on. Though the Cove may be going through the seasons, the Daoist is still in winter inside, still reflecting on past and present items in life.

Greetings given to the newest member of the Cove, recalling past times, and current life styles. Time changes people... Time changes things... Time alters all things... Time is able to be transcended by a Daoist, life in the past, present and future all in harmony and yet not live in any of them as well. Time does not affect a Daoist the same, but the reconnect always comes and goes. The amount of time varies depended on the need of the Daoist, and of the other party involved.

The black cat starts to form a relationship with the one that feeds it over time, but time only seems relevant to those that choose to live by the restrictions it puts up. A different place, a different time we could have been lovers... A different place, a different time we could have kept the honest childhood love. A different place, a different time we could have stayed married. A different place, a different time we could have made our marriage happy.

What is needed is provided, no more no less as there needs to be a balance, a harmony in the order of things. Inevitability is there to keep the balance, to keep the harmony. You can't fight inevitability, if you try you will still be lead down the same paths as you were meant to be. Claim nothing in life, and therefore own everything...

If we claim nothing in life, then one realized nothing is needed, and if nothing is needed then we have everything that is needed already. Time marches on, re-connect here re-connect there. A circle starts to shape, different from the past, yet still the same. Little differences here, little similarity there.

In society you become a number, in nature you become part of the ecosystem. In society greed, and deception is leader of emotions. In nature survival and assistance to other creatures become the concern.

Chase a dream and one will become a raging lunatic and possibly get the dream, but most times your left with your own rage, and a dream that gets farther away. Chasing dreams is like chasing a stray cat. Run as fast as you can, but the cat always seems faster and farther away then when you started.

I have a black widow living on my porch, at my apartment.. I talk to animals like they are real people, I really only have them in my daily life so it helps me to do so. I have friends, and I have contact with people almost daily, but they don't know me, they can't understand my reality in it's complexity. I love them anyways for they try to understand, and some understand the surface of my issue.

So I told Mr. Spider (It is male due to markings), that I would not mess with him, provided he stays outside. I have arachnophobia by the way. In a different place, in a different time I would have crushed the spider with no remorse. My friend is only looking to survive though, to lead life catching food and building his webs. How can I now disrupt the natural order of things.

It is not the black cats fault his previous owners abandoned him, yet many times in life this occurs, people want pets and then things get hard and the pet is the first to get kicked out. This would be the reason I have issues with people having animals as pets. Animals should thrive in their real environment. If your lonely don't get a dog, get a companion of the same species, interact with another human.

In another time, in another place... In the past I was rebellious and in debt... In another place, in another time... I am no longer the irresponsible child I was. I focus on taking care of the bills, paying them on time, and just throwing the rest in savings. I live a meager life, but it is my life, and for the most part it is what I need and not what I wanted. How is one to be upset if the need is taken care of. Flush greed out, flush extravagance out, flush the definition of what society states you need, and go with what is in your heart as being needed. You will find that what is needed is a lot less than you originally thought.

A disorder is only a disorder if one tries to fight it, but can be seen as a gift if one accepts it. A disaster is only a disaster due to the eyes and views that one looks at it with, in anything that happens there is the dark side and the light side, it just seems impossible to find the bright side of things at time, but the lining is there, it will be there for those that seek it out to find it.

Time revolves around another rotation down, another rotation starts. Since finding the Dao once more things seem to go in circles now. Time thought of as being flat, ends up being cyclic in nature, relationships once gone seem to reconnect and severe again, leading into the circle of things.

Cycle of time comes and it goes. It seems like a long time ago, I wrote for the readers, not about specific people. Time twisted my writings and made them specific to an issue or person. Time comes again where the writings are not specific to a person, but is intended for you as a reader whoever you are.

Do I worry about being attacked by a spider, not anymore if it is done it was to be, nothing more nothing less. My friend the Black Cat I deeply care for, but I do not cage him up, tame him, and take away his identity. I love him, I want him to survive, I feed him, I talk to him, but never would I take from him. It feels much better to give to him what is needed, nothing more and nothing less. He gives to me what I need to. An entity to talk to that does not judge in the slightest, that does not bite the hand that feeds him.

So many cats in my life that have been shown some level of kindness and yet the hand was bitten for one reason or another. The black cat and I have an arrangement where he will come close, but not up to me, and I will not disturb his life with my touch. Affection given at a distance. To many times I lost those animals I loved, to close and the pain hurts. Yes I am talking about a real cat and not using it as a metaphor. The metaphor was the cats used in the past.

I sit and watch my squirrel friends, I talk to the cat and ask him to leave them be, that if food is needed come to me. I buy food, but everyone knows my appetite, so instead of just throwing the food out, I feel I can help the cat. I have not even grocery shopped in 1 1/2 months.

I eat when needed, but do not feel like eating most the time. My body has gotten used to eating once a day or once every 2 days. I sleep when needed, and I hide in the reality of the Jade Cove. I cultivate my being in the Cove, I extend my dealings from the Cove.

Yet when all is said and done, I do nothing but have done everything. I am not here but I am everywhere as well. Does one need to open a door to see the things beyond, or can they simply look through the window and enjoy the site?

The Crisis Situation *Wise Dao*

When presented with a crisis situation remember to do the following:

1. Don't panic
Panic makes for bad decisions, plus enhances possibly dangerous situations. Remember in a crisis situation if you panic you could die, get hurt, or make the crisis worse.

2. Breath
Breathing provides the moment to relax in the situation, if you are relaxed and not rigid it will provide a way to become flexible to the situation. This also leads to the next step of clearing the mind.

3. Clear your mind
If one can clear the mind of all distractions of the emotions going on, then one can clearly start to think of valid solutions.

4. Bend with the crisis
Until a solution is formed bend with the crisis, work with it not against it. If the crisis is worked with then the solution has time to fruit.

5. Formulate the best possible solution
With the clear mind and the ability to bend with the crisis this allows for a formulation of a solution, although the solution may not occur at the beginning of the crisis, it will eventually be present during the crisis. Just never panic and wait for Opportunity, while constantly formulating plans.

6. Act according to the plan.
The only derivative of this is if a situation changes one must be able to adapt the plan quickly for the same results.

I believe many people out there does not understand handling a crisis situation very well. They were never taught the steps to handling it. The best defense is a strong educated mind.

Wu *Dao to Dao*

Thirty spokes of a wheel all join at a common hub
yet only the hole at the center
allows the wheel to spin
Clay is molded to form a cup
yet only the space within
allows the cup to hold water
Wall are joined to make a room
yet only by cutting out a door and a window
can one enter the room and live there

Thus, when a thing has existence alone it is mere dead-weight. Only when it has wu, does it have life.

The five colors blind the eye
The five tones deafen the ear
The five flavors dull the palate
Racing, hunting, and galloping about
only disturb the mind
Wasting energy to obtain rare objects
only impedes one's growth.

+_+_+_+_+

Black Cat *Mixed Dao*

The black cat was elegant, graceful, and seemed to glide across the earth. The goal was to get a warm, soothing glass of milk. Some meat to chew on, and some kindness from those who would be able to give it.

How often was he chased away by a broom, or kicked around by the mean people of society. So often has pain followed him, so often has a person led him in just to hurt him, how could he trust anyone.

Living in the cold night, sleeping on the hard miserable earth. Finding leaves to sleep upon, but offering no cushioning against the harsh earth. Climbing trees to escape danger, or hiding and only prowling the night.

The night seems safest to him, the darkness giving him stealth. Black on black making him seem invisible upon the world. Those that do see in his world are not trusted, first they have to prove their intentions are pure and just.

My kindred spirit, my brother of nature, we share so many similarities. I am not sure I really want to trust anyone again with my heart? I stay far away from the broom stick. I wonder if there is a kind soul out there that I can trust, that will feed me out of kindness of their heart. Not pity, no sympathy, but out of kindness. I wonder when I will find the warm comfortable bed to lie in?

I don't think I am ready to go back to the world just yet. It has rejected me so many times, and I have rejected it so many times as well. Listening to my music, and I can't remember their faces, the eye colors, or much of anything else. I see their pages and just an emptiness remains. No pain, no sadness, the wish or feeling that I will die without them has gone like the black fur at night.

Disassociated from me in this reality, detached from my life. Looking back just one day ago, I realize that many more things have been detached from me, from my mind, from my life.

Upon being complimented on my decorating skills, it did nothing inside me. No sudden jolt of a feeling. I decorate just to avoid seeing bare walls, seeing an emptiness, it seems incorrect if something is not on a wall.

Upon seeing my best friend from high school, there was no feeling of comradeship, no anger, no nothing. I suppose maybe it is not time to leave this state of Flux, I suppose I am comfortable in this area. It is where I can not get hurt, betrayed, or destroyed.

I don't remember her curves, I don't remember her voice, at times I don't remember being married for a time. The person is special to me, all of them were, but nothing but a fading memory exists, a hazy memory at best.

The conversation turned toward my Ex-wife when we met. Name calling came as soon as the conversation turned that way. To me though she is a person that made a choice. So it hurt or what I thought was hurt me. Still her choice may lead to another persons happiness.

There are reasons thing occur the way they do. The river that flows south, should never be forced to flow north. People make decisions based on the moment, then later if the decisions were found out to be incorrect they fear to admit it, they push on, they fight through it.

But how can any decision be incorrect? If things were meant to be then how can one really see it as a poor decision. Why should anything really affect us in a positive manner, or negative?

My ballads from Kamelot make me tear up, but not in sadness. The songs are beautiful, they fit in my reality so nicely, so flawlessly. The black cat in me searches for a hand that is pure kindness, pure wisdom, and pure love. Just like a black cat though the people chase it away, abuse the stray, and tries to kill the cat.

Death though only provides a doorway to rebirth. Death of a lifestyle provides an opening to a new one. The life I knew is over, death came swift and silent however, the new light seems to be an older light. The study of the sages, the writings, the detachment from all things that caused conflict in my life. How do you do the things that once caused such conflict, without having the same conflict? Detached, and remove the core thing that caused the conflict, remove the emotion the thought behind the conflict. Without the thought and emotion how can one truly encounter conflict?

You know I have seen in the last couple of days a new thing start to occur in me. I have not been studying the sages, nor going to Tai Chi, but my hands seem to enjoy resting by my stomach within each other with the palms facing up. They seem very relaxed in this state. It is a nice feeling, I can't explain it, it is not emotional but it is a soothing type of feeling.

Yet still the garden is present in my mind, still the growing of life and harvesting of food is present in my mind. The idea of leaving the socialized world yearns from within me. Tis not the time yet, before I leave I must handle the loose ends in this style of life. Hence the reason I have not just packed up, dropped the rope here, and started walking to that garden.

Sanity Another gift from perception... *Neutral Dao*

Step by step the Doaist walks a circle, planting every step with intent, using muscles not normally used in walking. The retreat to Jade Cove was personal to him. He retreated and became a Daoist to get away from the negative, and the positive. He wanted balance in his life, he was tired of choosing one over the other.

As he continued to walk the circle in moving mediation a subject came up. Sick people, mental illness, and perceptions people have. Reality to one, is not reality to another.

Some call me sick, angry, or evil. Here is what I do know, I am a depressed person, I am delusional at times, I am even anxious at times. All things that all people have at some point. Thing is in my reality people are nice to one another, people are kind, and people are giving.

My reality does not exist in today's time though. Why do people expect the worse or see the worse in things. Look around, open your eyes and your will see. The probability of something not going rght or being right is higher than it ever was. A person that sees things as the worse case scenario I do not consider sick or perverse or anything. If I did have to say something about it, I would say they are realistic, they have a high probability of being correct.


The above image is how everyone is in my reality. Plugged into some form of society rule, or religious exponent, or just into what they believe is right. But that is my reality that I see, it is not wrong or right, it just is. Your reality may be different. But I have two realities.

Reality 1 is what I see in the light of day, my interactions with people, my views of them, the questionable deeds they think of or do. The truth is everyone out there has lead me to create the secondary reality. I live there most of the time. It is a much happier reality than the one I physically live on.

In this reality things are happier, I love people, even though I stay away from them. Sometimes the best love, is long distance. It is a reality where the integral safety of my core being can not be hurt, can thrive and can be itself.

It is a place full of love without ever really experiencing love. This is the reality I live in and gives me the ability to open doors for strangers, to entertain people at work, or to write without the emotions clouding and betraying the writing.

A red rose as with the morning dew glistening off it. A sentence like this initiates something inside the reader. Unfortunately for me it is just a language twist, no emotions arise from this, I do not associate it with the typical ideas others do. Ideas of love, beauty, etc. How can I associate it with anything when my secondary reality has a balance, nothing good nothing bad, no light, and no darkness to it.

I am delusional, for a long time I believed I was an angel, but now the delusion has gone away. What am I today. A person that just wants to grow a farm, not deal with the world, and live life with no ill intent. Just a person who wants the secondary reality to become the primary reality.

Next time your at the doctors explain my behavior and they may say DPD or Depersonalization Disorder, but me I am fine with my realities, I am fine with it causing large gaping holes of time where I do not talk to anyone. For the friends that are present understand that is who I am. Why change it, why drug it up, if this reality is better than the current one, why take it away.

Sick I would be called, deranged, lunatic, etc. That is fine by me, call me what you will because in my reality your stilled loved, in my reality nothing can harm me. In my reality no tags are put on people, just actions. In my reality people are not called sick, or twisted, but again they are not called good or evil either. They are just called people. I try to understand their reality, I try to understand their views. But when it comes down to it, I flee back to my reality, where things make more sense. Where people are kind to one another, and gives me the ability to wear my heart on my sleeve without getting hurt.

Well that is all I have today. Lack of sleep, lack of many things at the moment.

Council *True Dao*

Was reading a note and came across one stating they gave good council. I thought the writing was well written with good intent. It was about perceptions and things of that nature.

The issue I saw, was when done on perception then the writing itself is a perception of the writer and not of the subject. Perception is in the eye of the beholder, and the beholder is the writer writing it, or in the reader reading it.

There was a section where it is mentioned the writer as giving good council. Every council people offer is intended to be good I believe. No council is meant to hurt or harm a person. Why couldn't it be just council though?

When you label an thing as good or bad isn't that just a perception going on as well. Write about perception and perception will generally lead to deception in the writing. Council is council. Advice is advice. When one labels it good or bad it is a calling card for betrayal of intent. I like the sound of that actually as it fits so many in the world.

When a friend comes looking for advice give your opinion of the matter from the heart, have their interests motivating the conversation, and not a hidden agenda of I am providing good or my words are good. The hidden agenda is recognition, and recognition is a request for fame, request for fame negates the true nature of giving and becomes receiving, and when one receives the act of when giving be kind is trampled on.

Instead give council, only give what is needed. If you only give what is needed then you did not good and no bad but just did what was needed.

To receive council is easy, to give council is hard, and to give good council is impossible. Giving council could impact another persons life and should never be taken lightly, and never should one feel that they offered good or sound council. When one become complacent in labeling the council, they then forget the reason they give council, or the impact it could have on a life.

Would those they understand speak, would those that speak understand. My writings are mine, my writings are not a claim to fame, are not meant to help others, but are only thoughts in my own little world. Do I want a person to remember me when I am gone, I would prefer they not look to me in the memory but continue going forward without my presence.

Anything I did on this plane of existence was what was needed at the time. No good nor no bad was ever intended. No claim for fame was ever wanted. Only thing I ever want to be is a humble person with a humble life, that can be a piece of a bigger puzzle, and provide support to the pieces that fit next to me in the greater puzzle.

This concept deserves no claims, no acknowledgement, and no praise. It is what it should be. When council is given do not give it lightly, when being kind be kind. Perception is just a perception, the way one sees a thing is the way they see it. Instead of labeling a subject as evil, or perverse, or sick, one should remove their own thoughts and their own perception of things.

Humanity will always be human and to human is to err. Great thing about the Dao teaching is it states the this idea. One should not judge least you be judged is the concept he included, but calling people sick and calling them perverse is judgement in it's base form. Instead I would embrace this as a opportunity to practice the balance. Without those in life thinking this way we could not have the ones that think on the opposite spectrum. Instead of being judgemental put the idea in a analogy to cut the writers perception bleeding in.

Some people are mountains, and some rivers. Some are non-moving in their ideas and ways but without them the river can not flow from elevation differences. If those people out there that this article referenced as perverse or sick, then the river would not flow.

Reap what you sow. As you live, so will you die.

If this is an eternal concept then I must tell you the future. I am not afraid of death, I love all people, I just hate some of their ideas and the way they hurt one another. I wear my heart on my sleeve. That is the way I was born and so to that is the way I will die.

I strive to be a sage but understand I will never be able to claim that title. I live in contradiction, but balance them to coexist and be peaceful with each contradiction. The way of life is to come to grips with contradictions and finding the balance between. Instead of sick people, I see them as still trying to find a balance, still trying to find a harmony within.

The article was good though with a good intent, however the article betrays the intent. It betrays the removal of self when it comes to council, it removes the prejudice of the writer and most importantly it also casts judgement on people.

The article mentions how people should mind their own business. I smile at this part because the first part of this was what I have said over years and years. "Don't worry about what other people think of you." Never did the saying judge or be rude to people. But now on this page I see it written as:

Don't worry about what other's think, they should mind their own business.

So does this mean that the receiver of this kind of information should not worry about what you just thought, that they should just mind their own business? The way this is presented is not well thought out of, and very negative in thought, but that is my perception. The idea is good but the delivery needs worked upon. When giving advice (council) one should choose their words very carefully.

Never have I referenced something like giving good council, or good advice. I simple call it what it is, council or advice. Time will tell when it is good or bad, but if I call it this our that it shows Bias opinion. Besides what seems to be good may show good at the beginning but end worse than if no advice was ever given. This is the reason one should always consider advice and take long moments to carefully choose their words and thoughts before responding.

Regina was given advice. So far she is doing well but only time will tell. Was it good advice? No I only gave her what she already knew inside. I only gave her what was needed to be heard for her at that time, however time will tell if it was correctly given or a false idea of what was supposed to be heard.

Until I die and they person that was given the advice should call me good council or good advice. What seems to be good for one person may end up causing a nightmare for another. This is the reason we should always when giving advice choose our words carefully and let the answers come from inside the person receiving the advice. Cultivate the internal answer to want to jump out, that way it seems like you did nothing at all.

Instead of trying to change people like I did so many times in the past. I have found a knew idea, have people change themselves. I would rather not be responsible for change or force something that would never happen. Instead nurture the inner self of the person, if you lead with the love and goal of happiness of the person what ever that maybe, then the person will show you where that happiness goes to. It may not be what you believe it to be.

When one finds the happiness the ideas and prejudice disappears. The angst and violence goes to the side. Anger comes and quickly fades. Grudges no longer able to be formed, and life comes to become a better view for all.

Don't limit the view of yourself
Don't despise the conditions of your birth
Don't resist the natural course of your life.

For a while I despised my birth, I fought the course of my life, and I gave limit to my view. With this being said would I have been the sick or perverse person this guy talked about, am I sick?

For a long time I was lost, but even being lost my true course came out, no matter how much you hide, or shut down yourself to stop the inevitable it always finds a way to be. That is why it is inevitable. The course of ones life is inevitable, why resist it. Why change it. If the river flows north allow it to flow north.

All the people said this article was good. I even thing it was don't get me wrong. But the article betrayed the intent. The intent was good, the article betrayed it though. So many people in life stuck on evil and good people. If people where taught a humble life from the start and the general principles of nature maybe they would not lead evil or sick lives. Evil people have good in them and Good people hides the evil in their hearts. Occasionally you have a person that fits no where of the two but sits balanced on the edge of both. Sick some call them, evil the good calls them, and good the evil calls them. Sometimes a person is just misunderstood and people perceive it as them not liking things or them criticizing others.

This is the whole perception idea. If one opens their eyes and sees truth for truth, then it is still considered a perception if someone else disagrees or sees a different truth. Sometimes there is more than one truth that is present, be careful what you see for there may be more than what you see, truth to one can be a lie to another, a lie can be seen as truth.

Before quoting the sayings look within and find them true to oneself. Constantly try to expand and contemplate them for you may find that they hold more than one truth in them.

Inspiration Found. *Wisdom Dao*

The Jade cove is silent today. Nothing moves inside the cove as if time itself has locked away all the elements. Sitting in meditation waiting for the inspiration to come, and then a Communique came. Inspiration in hidden view. So this feature goes out to my friend, a thought to bring spring upon her winter.

Age has hit me today, My neck is sore, and it feels sore all the way through the bones. I feel old, I feel ancient today. These days are hard on the physical body, but brings me close to the sages. The status read:

Today is one of those days that you just wish you had someone at home to hold and hug you.

Your winter has been present but reflection has just started. When reflecting do not be rough on yourself. Do not focus on could of or would of, instead focus on at least this goods time that occurred or the goods time and the growth that took place. Life is like a child, you grow in spurts.

Think of life as a garden. The first year you plant the corn on the southern section of the garden, then next year you rotate your crops and plant them on the north. During times growth will come from sections in life that are unseen, some from relationships, some from lovers, and some just come from friends.

If you put the corn back in the southern field the second year it will produce less corn and growth is limited. Why? This is because of the nutrients needed were used the previous year for the same type of crop.

Your life is a garden, take well to weed the fields, hoe the ground, and water the plants. If you do not do this daily, then when you do finally get to it the weeds have overgrown, the plants seem dry, and the ground hard. One can still work at the garden and eventually get it back into working order, provided they just work little bit by little bit on catching it up.

Life provides a drought, or a monsoon to try to ruin the garden, but tend the garden and even the harshest weather can not deter growth of the vegetation.

Play the plants some calming music and the better they react, water the vegetation and the more it grows.

Survival means struggle. When one refers to survival mode, then one references to struggle. A thing that is taught in the way is to be like a reed, learn to bend and to give to the pressures and struggles and one will never have to survive.

Life is meant to live, not to survive. The source of stress is from the one receiving the stress. Some things need to be done that could have been done long ago. Learn to bend like a reed, least you get blown over like the Oak.

Time is forgiving, and forgiving oneself is always the hardest than forgiving others. One must learn to let go, to accept what is, is what is needed, and what is not, is not needed at this time. You say there are things that are confusing you, let us help you. You say how can someone understand... How can we not understand, as we have known you since school. The patches in life that we were not there for can easily be filled in, and can easily be worked out with the help of friends.

True friends, those that love you no matter what. Those with no other thought than your happiness are around you. The farmer takes care of the garden, but the garden supplies the farmer with substance.

Put your hands in the soil, dig the weeds out, the longer one waits the more weeds there will be. Time is a matter of concept, how can one do this and that and handle 1000 things in one day. Step by step, thing by thing. Weed the garden, then hoe the garden, and then water. When more than one thing is present focus on doing one thing completely before moving to the next. If the issue was there yesterday, it will be there tomorrow if time did not allow you to get to it today.

Worry not, the garden of life is much more resilient than what is thought of. If you are put into a state of winter for years, you will hit spring sooner or later. But winter presents us the opportunity to reflect and see our growth, see our accomplishments, and allow us to remember good times. If one focuses on bad thoughts or the thought of loss, then one seems to loose the times of happiness they could enjoy.

So what is needed at this point, the answers are known, the garden awaits your arrival, waiting for you hands to bring order back to it's wild growth. When you are sad the garden is empty and the fruit and vegetables are no where to be seen, when you are happy, the vegetation springs to life and produces fruits and vegetables.

Remember When .... *Reflection Dao*

The bird perched on the jade green branch of the cove. A beautiful young, vibrant red Robin singing the tune of old sages. Singing for the glade and singing the song of remembrance of previous lifetimes.



A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. Saying like these never die they span the ages, span space, time, ideology, religion, spans across color and creed as well. For some reason I can't remember things my Grandfather always said, not anymore. Time and current decisions in life has wiped my memory of many things.



Remember when we played in the snow, doing snowball fights, or building huge snowmen. Building little huts out of the snowball. Digging deep to find a sanctuary away from the stinging deathly cold wind during those days.



Falling down in the snow backwards in order to make snow angels. The act of falling without fear of being hurt and no one to catch you, the nice design that it can create when a child. Being told school would be closed and that today was a snow day. A free day to play and run wild in and outside the house.



Remember when I asked you why you loved me, You said because I have a good heart. Funny how things change in time, my heart is still good and kind and yet you are no where to be seen. Remember when you were pregnant with Jeremy and your mother and you had a fight. I was playing D&D on the westside and when I got your call I drove over to comfort you. To console you. I bet you don't even remember these times.



Remember the time we went bowling and we were so in love. Remember how we acted in Math class. You were the first of many things in my life and I love you now to this day. I am happy you found someone, I am happy you have a beautiful little one. But the questions come to mind do you remember the good times or have you forgotten them like so many people out there forgetting good times.



Remember the time when you had asthma attack and I comforted you and got you water? Remember the heart that time, but yet a heart is not what a relationship is about I guess. Spit on me, hate me, say something and not mean it all this is fine, but my heart will never change. My heart has always leaned toward kindness.



A lot of times the good times are replaced with the bad, or the reality is twisted so one can get through it. When you alter reality then the memories are lost. Without the memories how can you remember when...



For want of a nail the horse was lost. For want of a horse the rider was lost. For want of a rider the message was lost. For want of the message the war was lost.



I have been told that I am gifted with the language and how to put the word puzzle in place to make elegance a standard. Yet with gifts come curses. If I am gifted in speech then I am cursed in relationships. If I am gifted in computers, I am cursed in socialising.



In the Tao Te Ching it sates: Seeing your own smallness is called insight. Honoring your own tenderness is called strength.



If you have never realized how small you actually are then I dare you this. Take another look at a child's sleeping face, or a child's sickened face and see how small you are when compared to the angelic purity of a sleeping child, or the fear of death for a child that is sick.



Remember when you allowed your mother to give your son Amoxicilin that was prescribed for her but cut in half? Remember how sick the child became while fighting the overdose? Remember my tears and my pain in my eyes as I sat as a vigil asking every god to bring the child through this? Do remember the heart then?



Remember when we used to go outside and have races around the house to see who was faster, a race. Grandpa used to declare the winner. Remember Grandpa chewing tobacco and sitting around enjoying the spring and summer seasons. Do you remember.



Remember the fight we had about the child, remember seeing my anger then? It was the only time you ever saw it, but loving me for my heart did nothing for my soul. Remember when you walked in the house and complained about your day, I listened and then reminded you how much your boss really did appreciate you? Remember those times.



Contentment alone is enough...



What is happiness but the lack of sadness, what is despair but the lack of hope. One mans trash is another mans treasure... What i have lost others will gain from, however now I have none left to give the heart too, I have not a person to go home to and give this heart to. Remember when you were giving birth and I pushed you past your limits?



So I do not smile enough to show my emotions, so I don't get excited, even less now than in the past. What is a smile but lack of a frown, a frown the wish to smile.Yet I so wish I could get them both down. Am I sad? I suppose. Am I happy, I suppose so.



Great Truth seems false

Great skill seems clumsy

Great eloquence seems like babble



When did I become humble, when did my heart melt, why is it that emotions are estrange to me? I can't remember these times. Time that would be important to remember, times that have the answers may not be the times that one is searching for. The future is minutes away, yet it will never come. Focus on the now, as it is the middle ground between Future and Past.



Truth is I love the women of my life, I still do, I still hold them inside, probably always will. Remember when I had a cold heart? Many will remember this, few will see the kindness I showed in those brief moments of their lives.



A brief moment, how ironic? A memory is but a brief moment in your life. One that makes a mark, one that will shape you. I remember when you came over that first time, I remember laying in your lap safe and free. I remember running my hands through your hair and paying attention to you. I remember kissing in the car when my mother was taking you home.



I remember the day I decided to write. It was a horrible day in my life. We were in art class and you saw me draw the California Raisin free handed but to scale of the card perfectly. You watched and when the instructor was complimenting my on my skill you said I traced it. It was perfect match, yet you watched me draw it free handed. This was the day I gave up drawing. Soon the Instructor introduced Calligraphy.



My artistic nature revived in the art of words, the artistry of Calligraphy and the use of words to convey the message. A painters brush is only useful if the painter knows what to draw. A pen is mightier than the sword, and as beautiful as a rose.



One's loss is another's gain. What I loose I can feel good that another will gain from the loss. I gain the loss too, I can burden my back with more loss if it helps another gain from it. A heavy load but I would never want another to carry it if I can help it. One day the burden will crush me, tis my heart that keeps it light, tis my heart that keeps the weight off me as much as it can.

I don't remember anymore why we ever went separate ways, we were kids then. With recent events maybe I still am. My marriage that I treasured in my heart has crumbled. The saying of protect something too much and you are bound to loose it comes to mind. Maybe i am still a kid in some ways. Maybe I will never grow up, but if I did where would my heart go?

Love is the fruit of sacrifice and Wealth is the Fruit of generosity.

Sacrifice, what is sacrifice but another word. An idea that one puts themselves out to benefit another. As much as I love Lao Tzu I do not see it sacrifice if I can make another happy even if it is for just a brief moment in their existence. How can one not have wealth if they give for the sake of giving, if they just want to see a smile or make someones day. Wealth is truly in the act of giving just to be kind.

I gave you Diamonds, and Jewelry. I gave you a wardrobe of lingerie. Remember when I used to buy everything I thought you would like, and yet really wanted nothing but your happiness. That happiness seems to be without me in your life now, but as long as your happy, and were when we shared a space of your life, then how can I not be wealthy?

I gave you money to help with no wish for it back. Just to help you get back on track to see you smile, and have a change in your day. Do you remember that my friend. Do you remember the time when we moved you?

Let all the other in my life have everything, I will be satisfied if they are happy. If I lost them and they are still happy without me, and found a piece of happiness while I was around, then all was accomplished with that chapter of the book. I remember and that is all that is really needed. If the world forgets me, I will never forget them.