The sky is on the edge of existence, seeming so close you can touch it but always out of reach. Seems like life lately resembles the sky. A sky that is cloudy with white fluffy clouds seems to bring many people happiness while the sun beats down and warms their body. A graceful time that many take for granted, like life a great graceful entity of daily existence, but never really thought about.
Currently it is night time, and like so many things taken away from me in my life, I miss the pitch dark sky the most. The serene feeling of being the small significant being alone in the world. Times used to think of my life, times to think of how to do good for others, and time to think of those I lost and love them even more. All taken due to a move, due to a career, due to greed.
The black rose of night with tiny diamonds flashing on the petals. Many see daytime as being a beautiful day, but the ways I could describe the pitch black night. The blank canvas with a mystical moon on the horizon looking down like a lovely lady craving for attention. The winking of a star to let you know that your noticed, such a way that a lady winks across the darkened bar.
The cool wind blows to sooth your inner fire, the fire burning the edges of the darken seductress. The slight movement of the night life makes your heart race from the mystery like a ladies passion on the first meeting. The fact that you watch the earth in darkness and yet for some reason it feels like you protect those that sleep. A night walker in every sense of the word and then in some that others can not fathom.
The passion of the dark night, the mystery, the seduction, the caress, and the serenity have disappeared from my life at this time. I go to smoke and I see a sky that never gets totally dark. Always a light in the sky, clouds seen with a strange tint, with a evil cruelty my life sees the darkness as a place to retreat to for happiness. Now that I go outside to enjoy such things I see the light, and the sky that never goes black.
Things most take for granted, is all that I have in life, and yet some of the simple things like a sky that is completely black I have lost as well. The night sky is a mistress, feminine and lovely. The daylight sky is masculine and harsh.
Bob Segar - Turn the Page.... Yea only a few know what that means. My brothers, and possibly my ex-wife. It is good to remember though even though it becomes sad. Just like him, I have had the black sky ripped from me.
People ask if I am happy up here, how can I answer that truthfully? Truth is I don't know what love really is, not like other people. My love is different, my love is painful, and my love spans time.I think I have made love painful to force myself to feel something toward the women of my life. Being with them just was not enough to spawn a lasting emotional effect. To love and lost make you remember daily the good feelings, but also brings on the feelings of lost, regret, and the pain in the heart. You know you love someone when you go through heartbreak daily. I guess I am different from many people. They would want to hold on to a loved one.
I thrive in the opposite world of normality. Heartache, depression, regret are daily experience for me, but I also use them as fuel to do my other things in life, like staying on the path, doing right to others. Am I happy, truth is I have never known happiness so I would have to say no. I can't define the word, I can not do it justice by attempting to, they say that negative emotions has a lasting effect on a person and the positive is just a glimpse of a moment and soon forgotten.
So if a moment does not last like happiness, how is one truly to understand it? No I am not happy here, but I am not unhappy here either. It is and that is about all it is. You just have not gotten out and experienced the city. Truth is, that really is not me, I will get out once and a while, but if I can not define happiness how will I know what it is when I find it? It is as elusive as my sky that does not ever seem to go black anymore.
I really miss her, my black rose, my mistress of the night. I loved to sing to her, and to hear the whispers of the night that only come when the darkness encompasses everything. When the earth seems to stand still and existence seems to dissolve away like smoke in a breeze. The whispers of those thoughts in peoples dreams. The non-pushed emotions of the night, the natural caress of a mother to a child, the blacken sky of nature. The black sky is like a sea of endless possibilities, where one can dream, think, or sing without any guards up.
Seems to be easy to find a person in the world of billions, however how do you find one that likes what you like, that is as unique but similar in a way that benefits both? A woman of the night, a woman of the blacken sky. A person that enjoys the gray days, and the rain more than the sun and the clear light of the ball of fire. My mistress of the night my Sky has been that for so long.
With so much turmoil in life right now, I was hoping to be comforted by her. Now I lost my serenity of a Sea of Serenity, a Malevolent Mistress of darkness, a beautiful seductress, and a life long friend, due to a sky that never turns black.
Currently it is night time, and like so many things taken away from me in my life, I miss the pitch dark sky the most. The serene feeling of being the small significant being alone in the world. Times used to think of my life, times to think of how to do good for others, and time to think of those I lost and love them even more. All taken due to a move, due to a career, due to greed.
The black rose of night with tiny diamonds flashing on the petals. Many see daytime as being a beautiful day, but the ways I could describe the pitch black night. The blank canvas with a mystical moon on the horizon looking down like a lovely lady craving for attention. The winking of a star to let you know that your noticed, such a way that a lady winks across the darkened bar.
The cool wind blows to sooth your inner fire, the fire burning the edges of the darken seductress. The slight movement of the night life makes your heart race from the mystery like a ladies passion on the first meeting. The fact that you watch the earth in darkness and yet for some reason it feels like you protect those that sleep. A night walker in every sense of the word and then in some that others can not fathom.
The passion of the dark night, the mystery, the seduction, the caress, and the serenity have disappeared from my life at this time. I go to smoke and I see a sky that never gets totally dark. Always a light in the sky, clouds seen with a strange tint, with a evil cruelty my life sees the darkness as a place to retreat to for happiness. Now that I go outside to enjoy such things I see the light, and the sky that never goes black.
Things most take for granted, is all that I have in life, and yet some of the simple things like a sky that is completely black I have lost as well. The night sky is a mistress, feminine and lovely. The daylight sky is masculine and harsh.
Bob Segar - Turn the Page.... Yea only a few know what that means. My brothers, and possibly my ex-wife. It is good to remember though even though it becomes sad. Just like him, I have had the black sky ripped from me.
People ask if I am happy up here, how can I answer that truthfully? Truth is I don't know what love really is, not like other people. My love is different, my love is painful, and my love spans time.I think I have made love painful to force myself to feel something toward the women of my life. Being with them just was not enough to spawn a lasting emotional effect. To love and lost make you remember daily the good feelings, but also brings on the feelings of lost, regret, and the pain in the heart. You know you love someone when you go through heartbreak daily. I guess I am different from many people. They would want to hold on to a loved one.
I thrive in the opposite world of normality. Heartache, depression, regret are daily experience for me, but I also use them as fuel to do my other things in life, like staying on the path, doing right to others. Am I happy, truth is I have never known happiness so I would have to say no. I can't define the word, I can not do it justice by attempting to, they say that negative emotions has a lasting effect on a person and the positive is just a glimpse of a moment and soon forgotten.
So if a moment does not last like happiness, how is one truly to understand it? No I am not happy here, but I am not unhappy here either. It is and that is about all it is. You just have not gotten out and experienced the city. Truth is, that really is not me, I will get out once and a while, but if I can not define happiness how will I know what it is when I find it? It is as elusive as my sky that does not ever seem to go black anymore.
I really miss her, my black rose, my mistress of the night. I loved to sing to her, and to hear the whispers of the night that only come when the darkness encompasses everything. When the earth seems to stand still and existence seems to dissolve away like smoke in a breeze. The whispers of those thoughts in peoples dreams. The non-pushed emotions of the night, the natural caress of a mother to a child, the blacken sky of nature. The black sky is like a sea of endless possibilities, where one can dream, think, or sing without any guards up.
Seems to be easy to find a person in the world of billions, however how do you find one that likes what you like, that is as unique but similar in a way that benefits both? A woman of the night, a woman of the blacken sky. A person that enjoys the gray days, and the rain more than the sun and the clear light of the ball of fire. My mistress of the night my Sky has been that for so long.
With so much turmoil in life right now, I was hoping to be comforted by her. Now I lost my serenity of a Sea of Serenity, a Malevolent Mistress of darkness, a beautiful seductress, and a life long friend, due to a sky that never turns black.
No comments:
Post a Comment