..:: Shift in Being ::..

 During my time on earth I have been many different versions of myself, but lately peaceful has obtained new heights, stress is practically non-existent, and a shift over the course of 2 years has started to occur. I noticed I want to return to the earth, the old way more now that I am in my 40s, I want to return to the self sufficient life style. 

Not only is there a shift to buy land and go back to the old ways and the old medicines, there is a difference in thought, the electric pulses are not as aggressive in things. The very fact that I can thank a god for an accident and the pain I received speaks monumental on the shift toward stoicism and the concept of controlling ones reaction to something beyond their control. 

I have started to learn more and more about permaculture, and working the land, even started some plants in the back yard.

Really liking the slow life. Been saying lately that god took 7 days and did not do it in one day, then he turned it over to mother nature, which decided to take it's time and do things gradually. Nothing done right is done rushed.

..:: Vinegar ::..

      The Tao teaches  to be flexible, and to be like water. That much is true, but it also teaches balance above all things. Be caring but uncaring, be a traveller in the world, but not leave the house to do it. An old saying goes, "you get more with honey then vinegar". However, it depends on what is being done.
       My daughter sent me a friend's request on Facebook, after 18 hours of deliberation, I decided to cancel the request, instead of accepting. She sent a message acrossed it, but I didn't receive it because FB changed how they did messages I guess. I finally saw them, but refuse to answer them, and there are reasons.
      In this case I think using vinegar will make more of a point than honey. She has used me, lied to me, and will not straighten up her life in the ast, so why bother with honey. I gave her plenty of chances in the past with honey and the lies would start, the usage would occur, and the wrong paths followed.
      I beleive in a very black and white world, I see color, but when it comes to right and wrong, it is very black and white in my view. Plus I am not going to be some little girl's new years resolution. If she truly does want a relationship, she will bust her butt to prove it. If not then she can go about her way. The great thing is, it does not matter either way to me.
      Since the honey did not work, we will see how vinegar works. Show her I am serious about either it working or not, but this round is going to take proof in order for me to acknowledge anything she says.

Three Days of Thought

The Taoist in me realizes the beauty and the ugly in all things, even more so when it comes to life and that if death. Mowing the yard 3 days ago, I ran into a squirrel dead in the yard as I picked up pine cones.

I looked at it wondering if a cat left it as a gift or if it does failing out of the tree. I thought poor guy either way, then proceeded to move him out of the grass so the natural order of nature could take place and I could mow the lawn.

Still I have thought of that little squirrel for the days now, still curious as to what really happened to it. I am not like most Taoists, I am a serpent sage, an analytical and philosophical serpent.  I look at it as one day I will be the creature on the ground being eaten, as is the natural order of things. Will a creature, think about what happened to me, was my life happy, sad, lonely, are fulfilling. It is not the fact of the death that intrigues me, it is the idea of what the creature was when it was alive.

As a sage I generally live life in solitude, but in that solitude I am not alone. I have few friends that would come help if I truly called upon them as I do for them, however; I just don't wish to trouble them with things I need to do. In solitude I have time to think deeply, get lost in my own mind, and so on. I don't really keep up with time, expert what days I need to go to work on. Since it is pretty regimented, it is easy to ignore time.

A river wave is not in one place, and norther is time, time is like a flowing river. Why bother worrying about it, since it is going to flow with our without your constant paranoia about it. This year started the year white formed in my beard, when it grows, and my hair. I am fine with that though as it is the natural order.

I used to try to cheat time, then control time, as i grew, I realized I should harmonize with time. Allow it to have it's way with me, and be happy it still has use of me. What becomes of the squirrel that died, it is not like it's energy ever truly disappears, but it morons and flows in a different form. Was the energy in the squirrel form used to benefit another creature, will mine be considered beneficial to another creature.

The only thing I know is that squeaky squirrel is moved to it's new form. I love watching squirrels so squeaky will be missed by me, but I am not sad, as the balance and order of things is also prescious to the everything.

..::{{ A New Path }}::..

     Welcome back to the Jade Cove. It seems that it has been 3 years since the Jade Cove was visited. Well it has been one long journey during the self cultivation, however the lost soul found what was missing, and the fact is the item that was missing, was nothing at all. It was shedding the things around that lightened the burden that was upon the monk.

      The anime Saiyuki has a phrase in it that has some very special meaning. "If you meet the Buddha, kill the Buddha. If you meet your father, kill your father. Free of everything, bound by nothing. A very valuable lesson, that I thought I had accomplished, but unfortunately, even lessons learned tend to get a little dull once you add weight to them with the wrong weights.

Alone

I feel so very alone, and very betrayed by those closest to me. I feel even more betrayed by the one that was supposed to fight for me, and the family that chose the other side instead of the blood. I feel like just collapsing the walls down around me and shutting off the world. Closing everything down and become an automaton. I really feel like there is no one that I can trust with my heart or my concerns or my love. Frankly I am about to tear my world assunder just to be alone fully. To not worry looking over my back.

When to Fight, When to Walk

"Grandfather," she started to ask, "When does one know when to fight for something and when to walk away."

"My dear granddaughter," grandfather started, "When going up the path on a mountain, if the terrain becomes blocked, it is time to find another way around. This may require one to head down the same path they walked, in order to find the path that gets them around the barrier."

If the debris on the mountain is not that intense one should fight their way through it, however if the mountain pass is in deed great, it is just safer and better to find a new way around it. If it takes more energy to fight through than to walk away, then you should spend your time walking instead of fighting. The Tao is limitless in energy, but not wasteful in effort.

In life things will break, and if you have the power to fix it, one should, however if one is incapable of fixing the item, one should toss it and find a new item, or work on creating it again from scratch. A pebble thrown in the ocean would take too much effort to bring back, however walking upon the beach one may find a pebble just like the one lost. If you value a pebble do not throw it away, if you value a person fight for them, do not just give up. When we talk about people though the rock has just the same amount of power, if the person has been let go and does not want to sink, they should fight for what they want, but recognize too where underlying things led to the problem in the first place.

People do not change unless they go through a traumatic event little one. Broken people can not be fixed as easy as one believes, and usually ends with little to no progress made in trying to piece them back together. The easiest solution when it comes to broken people is to not try to fix them, but not be with them as well. Be there for them as a friend, or avoid them all together. One should never try to fix what another does not fix in  themselves.

Life is filled with pain of the heart, with heated anger, and with hurt feelings, however life also is filled with love, kindness, and healing. If a person focuses only on one side of the coin they will never be able to see the whole, or determine the truth in their life, or see where one may cultivate themselves to be better.

It is always good to look at the whole than at the piece. Eyes can be used to see only what the eyes see. One can see more when using all senses, when one uses the Tao to look upon all things and aspects one will truly see the events of future dealings. An animal in the wild does not rely on sight alone, but masters all senses for the protection of itself, and of its kind.

When in life you fight for the ones you love, you avoid the broken people that do not want to fix themselves, and you can expect hurt feelings, or pain, but not dwell on it. Pick yourself up in life, and fight for what the heart wants, for the goals you laid down, and for the person you wish to become.

..::Toxin, Failure, and More ::..

Grandfather what does it mean to be in a relationship, the little one asked. The Loashi thought a moment. The truth would best benefit the child, and would help her understand. The very core of a relationship though elusive, can be found, the old man thought to himself.

Little one, a relationship is like that of a bridge, it connects two pieces of land, always need maintenance, and can become dangerous in bad times. It can connect people or create accidents. Though some bridges may not work to the best of the idea, it is always a good idea to never fear a bridge, as they can bring much needed items to one shore or the other.

With that as well relationships work by communications, long term goals, and immense understanding. It has pain and pleasure wrapped up into it, but even when pain comes one must learn to not dwell on that fact, for the very pain can consume you, and prevent any other bridge from being a good thing for your shore.

The grand-daughter sat and pondered the meanings. For this little girl was one of cultivation, one of the mind, spirit and of old. She studied the masters, enjoyed the meaning in things, and never focused on just words in themselves, but enjoyed the deeper meaning that they presented.

Grandfather, she continued, what does it mean to be toxic in a relationship? Grandfather sat and thought about it. Toxins exist in nature to deter and poison those that should partake that poison, but is poisons in nature a bad thing little one. Poison protects, poisons can heal, and poisons are only poisonous to those that do not know the proper way to handle the plant or animal. Does not snake venom heal snake bites when processed by those who know? Toxins in a relationship are decided by frail minded people, even a toxic relationship if handled correctly can cure many sicknesses. However, if unable to process and incapable of handling, then one should avoid the snake venom.

 Granddaughter, said the old man. Let me tell you about two concepts in life. One will be what one should strive for and the other avoided. They are like a coin, two sides of the same item. You do one and the other never shows. Failure and resolve are the words my little one. Failure in life only happens when you give up on your resolve, not when you did not accomplish a task. Just because you did not meet expectations, one should always keep trying. One should always have resolve in getting to a level and then growing from there. When one stops having resolve, that is the time that one fails. When one stops walking forward is when resolve ends, and failure begins.


Author Note:
For those that has read Jade Cove over the years, they have noticed a monk talking to a master. The author is about to be a grandfather and decided that in my love of her, I plan on writing here things I would like the grand-daughter to learn, items in life written in the Tao way of meaning.

..::{Back To the Original Cove}::..

Starting tonight the Cove goes back to writings, interpretations of master and lessons in life. The enjoyment of living within my own mind. Recently ran into a situation where I shared my emotions and a truth to a friend, and they were hurt. They expected me to apologize to them. Unfortunately my friend mentally died, as one should not apologize for their emotions and feelings, much less a friend should never require another one to apologize for speaking truth and emotion to them.

..:: Interesting Night ::..

So the night was enjoyable last night. I got to see my daughter who was sick, be just like her dad with the serving staff. Which I found totally amazing. So this lady ignored her when she wanted to order something, so when Jason was going to ask her to come over to take her order, she flat refused to be served by the woman. It reminds me of me, little one makes me proud to be her dad all the time.

She was not feeling well so she left, and shortly after my friend Allison showed up, once again really enjoyed the company. playing pool, giving her a massage, having people stare at my attention to her. It is fun to pay attention to a woman in public, and have the whole crowd of people want to be that person. It is a natural ability to pay attention to the room, at the same time paying attention a lovely lady. A simple corner glance, or a simple scan of people can get a person full disclosure.

After a while I walked Allison out to her car. Really enjoyed seeing her come out and escorting her out was pretty damn good too.

Then it was just the guys playing pool. Let me tell you without telling you, watching a younger person do certain things, well as a older person, it was cool to see. The different tactics, the different approach, the different thought process. It was fun to watch to see, to know what was going on in the persons mind. It is uncanny I can do that in these particular situations, I really enjoy that gift.

I then sat up the rest of the morning talking to a friend that was out there. Was over all an interesting night, and much of it I can not write about. But it relieved stress, which was the focus.

..:: Help ::..

During times of pain and hurt, or crisis and torment. People come out of the wood works to offer help, opinion, and solutions. While I understand the world wants to be helpful, some people just do not understand that when it is between two people, well it is between those two. Hearing this or that and forming the opinion or the input on what the situation is, is never going to work.

When you start to get depressed or life throws you a curve, or change happens, there is only one person one can rely on and it become effective. That is yourself, your ideas, your time, and your energy. At one point in time a breakup would have devastated me, sent me into a twirling spiral to the event horizon of suicide. So many things in life I believe has helped me to get to the point where I only take one or two days and go through all stages of grief and end up better.

Pi?¿? What does the expression of Pi have to do with life? Well during my existential crisis many years ago my scientific mind wanted to find a mathematical expression that could allow modifications to ones standing and relationships. The solution was Pi. The base of a person is 3.14. Why to this digit of the number, besides it is the common reference. If one thinks about it, you find that one person is 3 aspects. Take a man for example since I am a man. There is me as a lover, me as a worker, and me as a dad. If you like you can look at the other aspects as well. Mind, Body, and Spirit.

The only one that can defeat a person and let negative emotions in, is you yourself. It is not really all that difficult, of course I have a unique position in life in the matter. If you meet someone, go from 3.14 to 3.141  if that person and you decide not to ever speak or change the dynamics of your relationship, you return back to 3.14 or if in the other direction add a digit.You can utilize a digit to determine relationships or to express the importance of a relationship. Regardless of how Pi is used, it will always remain 3.14.

I think my journey to become a sage has helped as well. This week alone I told my daughter I felt invincible. The story goes that when a Taoist has reached cultivation not a tigers tooth, nor a rhinos horn can penetrate the monk as he walks through the jungle. That is how I feel at this point. The Tao and the Pi has allowed me to in 2 days go from being dumped and becoming single in a positive manner. Where pain is essentially wiped away, like an etch-o-sketch being erased. Yes I know you like that analogy.

Essentially it comes down to choice, do you choose to be miserable, or do you choose to do things that make you happy, and move forward. Change is never a bad thing, even if it does look bad, it can lead to many new open doors that could one day change life in a drastic positive way.

But still people offer to help, give their input. From many sides about the situation, when honestly I am very keen on the human behavioral sciences, and realize that some people are just bias on both sides. Either for me, or for the other party. Essentially I don't want to hear it, why??? Because I am doing fine, I have myself, I have my principles, and I have my ideas for the world. By the world I mean the world I impact, the world I see, the way things are in my tiny little space of the planet. :) Why should it matter if I hear, this or that, and this could be why. Simple way to look at things, the easiest aspect is to perform Ockham's Razor. Either this person wants me or not, or that person wants me or not. This date will show me if this person likes me or not, or vice versa. When you perform the simplest calculation does it really matter the complicated reasoning behind the end result. Does all these complicated reasons change the end result. Not really, the end result is the end result. If this then that. Well if this sub routine is chosen, then the end result will be what is programmed. The program continues and the next round one may choose a different if statement, and it may end in a different result. 0 and 1 is the language of existence. It either is, or isn't. That is how I see things really.

Since I started after my existential crisis, I have become stronger, and less destructive to myself, and my life. I am able to have and loose relationships without being crushed, by the human condition known as depression, guilt, self detriment emotional dealings. So to the world that wants to help on both sides of my world. If I ever wanted to complicate my life, I would ask. But living a simple definition of things gives me powers and abilities that allow me to be me.

The work..

Since I have to get ready for work shortly just a couple of thoughts. For about a week I have been working out, and I love my body mechanics so much. In a week my muscles have responded so well. I have growth in the chest, shrinking in the stomach, and some definition starting again. Nothing spectacular, but noticeable to me.

The greatest thing I learned about myself is over the years with all my hardships, the current hardships are easy to come back from. A simple choice, a switch if you will, that allows all the sadness or depression to go away. Change usually presents itself as a thing we dislike, but I am learning that change or steps back setup the situation to move forward as well, just in another direction. Call it a free spirit mentality but that is how it is shaping up to be.

Well got to go to work. Catch everyone later. Leave a comment if you want, if not don't.

Twisting the Cove.

The cove is going under construction. It will be my new place to put daily thoughts, along with the philosophical thoughts.

Winding Roads --Reflective Dao--

I understand life so much more now then when I was a kid. I understand the horrors of life, the possibilities and capabilities of people in life. I understand that to the best way to deal with a situation of life and death is to never get into those situations at all.

A long time ago I believed blood was thick and would not break, age has provided me with other aspects of blood. Blood is a liquid nothing more and nothing less. You are the type of person of the company you keep, is another aspect I learned. What company does a person like me keep.

Oh I have battled all my friends and had words with them, except one. I have cut bridges time and time again, but each time I grab the rope and tie it off. I know people strive to become better, and sometimes a cut bridge will either motivate them to become better or will at least prove the lack of conviction. Conviction is a word I learned through my travels. A word I still use every day. I have conviction and at any cost will become the serpent sage. I will obtain my sage hood, and as I write this, I am calm and collected. Which is a great feat after the week I have had.

I have a friend that means the world to me, he is jolly, kind hearted and will always have a special place in my heart. I have one, it is just small if you ask some people, but ask those around me, I have a huge heart for those that follow the rules. Josh entered the Dao many years ago more than six. And only last year did he start calling himself a Daoist. My student is so like me in that aspect. It took me forever to call myself a Daoist.

Another person of company I took, or she took me I guess you can say, is Rose. My best friend and a person that I find myself drawn to make better, and who has a unique knack of making me a better person, but along with everyone else, she realizes there are boundaries that can never be crossed. Well I doubt she would really cross them anyways, she like me has the same goals right now. Improve our lives and make live a place where peace and sanctuary can thrive.

I know to younger people too. They are awesome friends. They belong to Rose. They strive to improve their lives, to walk a line to a goal without giving up, without beating themselves up. These two friends have grown up before my eyes, has taken what I naturally give to people and applied it to life. I am very sure they will succeed in life. To think that they both were experiencing a dark time in life when I met them. You would not really guess that a conviction to a task could drastically change them. I give them through action that conviction can make a difference, and they bounce it back to me, showing me that conviction can make a difference.

Out of the world these four I know the most about. These people allow me into their inner thoughts and I allow them too.

But I do not depend on them in life to take me anywhere, I do that myself. They do not rely on me in that same aspect. They strive for their own cultivation as much as I do. Rose and Josh, two of my most prized pupils. Though the two brothers have yet to call themselves Daoists they walk the path of Dao everyday.

I have other friends too, each giving me something in life to strive for, and each taking what is needed from me. I am very lucky to have friends like these, and though I don't depend on them, they do bring a little more value and drive to life.

So monk has anything happened this week to change your values? Has anything made your path shimmer?

No. I have conviction to my rules, and to my goals. I still hold truth above all else, but a lie is not burned away by truth afterwords. I still hold action is more powerful than words. Words are questionable without actions to build the very content of the words. I still know I have a long ways to go, but the weight put on by my own actions see light compared to those I have of other peoples living inside.

I would rather be hated for an action that directs a person to face life, than to never have tried to teach a lesson. I am really on high on conviction to fight for truth and stray away from lies. I still have a big conviction against thieves. I still hold many principles that are unwavering and unbreakable. I still believe that one bad apple spoils the bunch. No I would not change my convictions, if anything what has occurred has only strengthen them.

My support network is built out of intellectuals, and Daoists, and humorous people. I am the company I keep after all. Through all this I am privileged to know these people, and like them I know I will achieve my immortality through them, should anything ever happen to me. Lessons learned from me will be passed on, ideas and thoughts, stories and laughter all will be carried on. My goal of being a sage has not changed, but already i have achieved immortality in life.

I no longer close myself off to the world like I once did, but I am no longer a easy play like I once was. The eyesight seeing through lies are getting clearer the more I stay on the side of truth.

With the winding roads lately, not a single step has been missed on my path. Not a single rest has been taken from the road that is being walked. Winding roads at times are needed to force one to look at the road instead of the surrounding beauty, to make sure the step is good so one does not fall off a cliff. Winding roads are the reasons Daoists an not just go on auto-pilot and call it a day. Plus winding roads test your convictions to the road.

The Man in Dark and Child in White.

The monk sat in the park meditating. Upon meditating he noticed a man dressed all in black that everyone seemed familiar with, but the monk also saw the person next to him that was being ignored. A child dressed in white, with white hair. The monk wondered how such a man existed that would not feel bad the little child was ignored, and yet he received most of the acknowledgement.

The monk decided to follow them and pay attention to this person and see what all occurred. The monk saw old, and young alike, male and female all seemed to know this man. The monk thought maybe this man was a celebrity or a famous person. The fact though that the little girl was ignored, frustrated the monk.

The monk asked the man for some of his time to talk and let the monk hear his tale of fame. The monk asked him many questions. He asked the man who the white haired child was, and the man just stated that it was a friends daughter. The monk noticed the girl shook her head no just so slightly.

The monk asked the man how he knows the old and young so well. The man replied with the people seek him out regularly to determine a perception of sorts. The girl simply shook her head. The monk asked why most people ignore the child and only a few even recognize her.

The man stated that in order to tell me he would like to refer to a story of the twins night and day. All though people spent their time in the day, many look forward to the night, many enjoyed the dreams they had, and the enjoyment one had at night. I am like the night in the story, I am easy to talk to and generally I give people what they want. The child, well you know children they say thing like how they are, with no class about it.

After leaving the man the priest was curious about the story and had suspicions about the man still. The priest made his way to the cove, walking slowly and looking for what he missed when he heard a soft whisper of a voice. "Master monk may I ask you for an escort?"

The monk simply replied lost in thought, "Master, I am not but escort you shall have, where are you off to?"

The whisper stated, "Well to the Jade Cove."
At this point the monk came too and realized the whisper came from the small white haired and white clothed girl.The monk asked the girl, "Was what the man in black said was true?"

The girl simply replied, "it his his truth, but rarely is the brutal truth ever recognized". She fell silent and parted her lips in a soft smile.

As they got to the cove, the sage approached the child and bowed his head. "My lady, please come in and teach us." The monk was floored, and asked the sage, "how can one so young, teach those that have spent years in cultivation of the essence?"
At this the monk smiled and simply replied, "Looks are often deceptive."

The girl turned to the monk and told him that she is of the same age as the man in black and he in turn is older than he looks. For the time that she has existed all the sages come to see her, and in grateful response to recognition she shares her knowledge.

At that time the monk understood and knowtow to her, he simply said, "It is my honor to meet you lady truth."

Pearl, Crimson, and Midnight

Welcome to the Jade Cove, the young monk stated as three young travelers entered. Bowing as he greeted them. "I take it, you are here to converse with master?"

The traveler dressed in white smiled. Not saying a word and waiting as if there was more, the one in red smirked and waited. The one dressed in black gave nothing to signify any intent, but looked difficult to approach for the young monk.

As the young monk waited for a reply, a raspy female voice approached from under the hooded red robe. "Monk how long have you practiced cultivating yourself. Do you know who we are?"

The monk answer the raspy voice carefully choosing his words. "Many years it seems, wise one, but time is but a fleeting entity for those on cultivating paths. As for knowing you, I have not experienced what you represent but I do know of you. With your permission you are Pearl, Crimson, and Midnight."

"Gather the monks, we are here to talk to all form the cove. We will meet at the Jade Chair you carved," came a whisper from the black hooded robe.

As the monks gather the master sat in the chair and greeted all the monks, "Today we have some great guest, please understand what each of them say means the Dao may look a little different after today, but embrace these travelers and meditate upon what they say." The Master got up and moved over to the travelers and started to sit in lotus style as the white robed traveler made their way to the chair.

Taking time and sitting on the chair, admiring the intricate carving, the figure removed the hood, to display a young, beautiful female with blonde hair. Taking time to choose the words to start off with, she breathed in slowly and released the breathe in twice the amount of time it took to inhale. The massive chi the traveler built in one breath took the new monks by surprise. The young apprentice however, was not after meeting truth and lie, he become used to abnormal things coming to the cove.

"My name is Pearl, and I would like you to take time in absorbing my words, like it took time to carve this chair. Take the words and make it part of you the same that this chair is part of the one that carved it," as she looked at the apprentice. "The craftsman that carved this chair put a lot of time, love, and life into this chair."

Her voice was soft and caring about the things that were said. Genuine in the statements of admiration of the detail."We three traveler will seem to be contradictions of each other, I challenge you monks to make a connection on how the three of us are the same, yet different. Remember my sisters and I all value life, though once all is said you may question that at times."

"I love life and I bring the breath in the morning to those who wake up. When you are content in the morning on drawing a breath that is my role in your day. I bring energy and drive your goals in your progression through existence. I am here to tell you today that I value that existence and I will do my best to walk with you through all matters, however there are some places I can not go, and that is where my sisters come to walk with you," as Pearl started to stand, she glanced at the apprentice to see the response.

The apprentice after seeing so many things in the cove, glanced back and smiled slightly, trying to keep his composure. This is a lesson, he thought, more for the others, but value is still here in this lesson even for those of master levels.

The next to approach the chair was the red robed traveler, as she approached the chair, she touched the chair in places that were difficult in the carving. The apprentice noticed each spot she touched. Sitting she removed the hood. Red hair as red as fire, and a beautiful young face, but one that you know was beyond time. "I am crimson, I too value life," said the raspy voice. "I, unlike my sister, I think your day needs a little challenge, a little difficulty to measure your convictions if you will."

"I walk behind you and Pearl, however when I catch up and pass you, I set up a challenge for you to go through. I am the prankster of your life if you will. I bring blood, sweat and tears. I never wish for life to end, but I can not allow it to be meaningless and unchallenged as well. If you are doing something I may make it difficult enough to draw blood. I am the one the can see your true merit in life," as the raspy voiced woman stood and touched the chair once more, bowed and walked over to her sisters and the master."

The dark robed sister approached she looked at the apprentice. The apprentice knowing what she was understood and nodded in understanding about the chair. Removing the hood she sat down, with black hair flowing around the white jade chair. "I am called Midnight. I too value life, and I value the cycle of such a thing. I bring you pain and hardships. I bring you death, sadness, anger, and grief. While one one may think of these things as something of a bad thing in life, one must remember there is a cycle, an order, and a law that all things must obey," as she whispered out.

"Life is precious, and there will be times I walk with you, to have you keep your emotions, your perspective, and your ideas alive." Midnight leaned into the crowd, "and you know what one thinks is evil, or deplorable, can sometimes be mistaken as refusal of understanding their perspective. Life and Death what a contradiction of terms, however both go hand and hand in our daily routines, yet evil is never present in these concepts."

The apprentice looked over at the master as Midnight sat down, and he glanced at the apprentice in a a manner of telling the young monks some thoughts. As he approached the chair it hit him, that all three mentioned his carving.

As the apprentice walked up to the chair, he looked at it lovingly, and flinched at the section crimson pointed out, then frowning with the words of Midnight touching him. As he sat in the chair for the first time in a long time he contemplated the words.

"During our daily lives we have energy, ambitions or goals for the day, Pearl talks about walking with us and valuing life, but life is a circle. One thinks they should live a full life, or live to an old age. Pearl walks with us as life walks with us, Pearl represents our dreams, our goals, and our drive through our lives. She is the entity that all people look upon with the concept of entitlement." The apprentice paused to consider his words a moment, looking over at Pearl, he stood up and bowed to her. "For being the representative of life I bow to you mistress. Without this concept we would not be here."

As the apprentice touched the spots in the chair that Crimson touched, he sat back down and started again. "This chair is special to me. Not that it ended up being a beautiful carved chair, but because many sections were difficult, and some even drew blood. When one goes through a difficult time and comes out on the other side triumphant then the strength that is obtained is great, and if in creating an item, then the item becomes even more grand. Even if it brings blood and lose, living through a time when pain and difficulty comes is the a great way to measure ones merit, convictions, and dedications." The apprentice stood up and bowed to Crimson, "before today I never realized that I met you and for this I apologize, I know you like a dear old friend from birth and will never forget to embrace you, when we meet, for you are the blood, and pain we need to grow and cultivate in true form."

Before sitting down again he turned to the chair and sighed a long sigh. Before sitting down he looked upon Midnight, "I am sorry to you as well Midnight, for I have met you many times as well. I understand now, what and who you are, for this I thank you for coming to our cove and blessing us with your presence." As he sat down, he looked upon the young monks and started to bring to light he revelation of the words.

"This chair in time will become dust, and will not exist. The beauty and the pain put into making this art will be lost to all but those who have seen it, or captured it's image to share. One may state, that it is only a chair, and time takes all things. While this is true, one must also practice the Dao in full, for life is a circle, and all things eventually turn to dust in this physical world. The Dao is neither light or dark but a balance. While we all love and respect life, we must love and accept death as well. Each of us express our way of handling death in their own way. Society outside the cove may try to convince people to feel sorry or pity the loss of life, however is that doing the circle of life any justice? If you pity a death of someone is that doing their memory justice. What about the lives they touched while alive? Can you do anything when feeling sorry for them, when upset about their lose of life? Can you do more if you accept it is what it is, and continue on a path that allows them to live on through you? This chair is an inanimate item, one things with no life, however it has my energy and my life in it. When it fades no one looks and states poor chair, perhaps the creator of the chair will look upon it and marvel at the time it took to go, or the things it accomplished. Why can we do this for an supposed inanimate object but not the life of our kin. Why does society put so much negative on death, and ashes that it is considered vile, evil, too soon, or feel sorry about that portion of the circle. Instead of keeping them alive with memories and stories and making a portion of that person immortal through the blood lines." The apprentice stood up and bowed to all three sisters. "We appreciate you in our lives Sisters of the Circle of Life.

...The Snake and The Tiger...

It has been over a year since the founding of the Jade Cove. The white Jade stone chair with the elder still sits in the middle. Recently the young monk took a trip away from the cove, upon returning to the cove he saw a snake laying on top of a tigers back. Absorbing the sun, and the Tiger looking back to make sure the snake was still securely on his back.

The young monk immediately knelt down, got into a lotus position and meditated on this. Wasn't the tiger worried about the snake attacking, and wasn't the snake worried in the slightest about the tiger killing it as it slept? The view of this bothered the young monk so much since it did not go according to what was to be believed in the real world as a natural working order of things.

When the monk entered the Jade Cove he went to the brook to clean off the perspiration he obtained from the walk, after which he lit incense to show his respects to the Buddhas and Gods of the land. His final destination though was to walk to the jade chair that he had only recently finished carving.

He explained what he saw to the wise elder, and asked how this could be, and explained that the two animals under normal circumstances would not behave like that.

The sage looked at the monk and asked... If there is calm and you can sleep would you if your laying in the pit of snakes, or riding a beast? If the calm is not broken then what can either do to each other. Things strive for balance and in balance find the calm and peace that can make things that seem impossible, very much a reality. If the snake was tired do you question his tiredness or do you question the very idea that a tiger can be compassionate? We strive to cultivate ourselves, but can not animals be cultivated in the Dao as well. The Dao did assist them in daily life too.

The elder looked upon the monk and said. Over a year now you have come to this cove, and seen many things, and yet you still think of things in the civilized manner instead of a cultivated manner. When you can stop thinking, and silence the mind then you can open your eyes to the possibilities not the limitations. When you can distance yourself from things and creatures that limit your thought, you will find that a mind filled of peace comes easier.

Mental Clock Tower

Walking up the mountain the priest looked up toward the temple stretching high into the sky. The architecture of the temple showed a beauty that most buildings rarely ever has. The majestic scenery with the magnificent architecture just took his breath away.

For the briefest of moments the sight appeared, the thief of beauty took his breathe away. In another blink of his eyes the planets surrounded him. With none in particular in mind, a black hole present so close he could touch it. Pulsars, Red Dwarves, planets with a dark red tint of life. A light that is soft on the eyes where it always seems like dawn when the sun is the highest point in the sky.

Another blink and the image is stolen away, replaced by images of moving and swirling energy. Dark and light combines together in a harmony. Plants, animals, and the atmosphere combining and flowing in a illuminated scene of colors.

Where one has lost their path, there is another that finds their way. Those that loose sight of what is important, will surely find it once they open their eyes. When loosing a love, one just needs to open their eyes and accept the loss. For where there is loss there is also gain, it usually comes way later, irony and all.

A world in a blink of an eye, an eternity in a moment of breathing. Time is a perception of a span of thought. A thought can last a second or an eternity. The clock tower ticks for all mankind, but not the minute and seconds of each day. The clock tower is the time of experience. A giant tower of cogs and wheels where all the good times, and not so good times are stored. A blink of an eye and the time shifts to a memory to re-live through again, a moment later and another experience is being added to the tower.

Life has given me many memories, some great and some sad. But my best thought happens to be my worst thought as well. The thought that brings me the most happiness is when I was married, but it is also the worst thought as well. Some things were good in the marriage and others were not.

Winter in a life is for reflection, at least that is what I believed, but can it not be said that reflection can not really happen if you re-live the times in your clock tower. If a clock tower takes no note of time, reflection can happen and re-living the time can occur as well. So sad times like these are not so sad when you simply re-live that time in your own little world.

What happens to a person each time a heart breaks, how many heartbreaks can one take before the heart can not be repaired? Guess this is a rhetorical question, for so long as their heart can be broken it can also be mended.

Well since it has been a day since writing this, it ends here.

Tree and Light

From a seedling the plant grows into a tree. Without water or light that seedling would curl up and die. A sparrow with it's wings clipped can not live as it was meant to; instead it would live in a cage.

When I was young and ran away from home, I took a nap on the mountain side, exhausted from my hike, I was to the point where life did not matter, only freedom. I did not care about snakes, rats, insects, spiders, or any other danger of the wilderness.

Looking back I kind of envy my determination of getting away from a bad life, how good have I made it though. I never graduated school, instead I got a GED, went to tech school, and have went through various walks of life.

I played the smart ass kid part really well, the troubled youth extremely well. I even played the husband for 7 years, which was no small task. Living with a person for that long and having a relationship takes a real big determination. With all the roles in life that I played I would say I have experienced enough of them.

So what happened to it all. What happened to my sunlight, my water. It feels like everything just pisses me off lately. I close my eyes and work crap enters my head, humanity in all its shinning glory (sarcasm) shows through.

See I never really have enjoyed any portion of my life really. If I was to be truthful I would say that I have dislike the majority of it. From the harassment when I was a child, to my teenage years when I became rebellious, to even today. It really has not had any light, or any water. At a period it had a brief light and water. When I was married I at least had a purpose, but divorce quickly ruins chances of that happening again any time soon.

So I am stranded in a decent state, but with a job that is driving me insane, and I don't use that word lightly. Today I was sitting there on the porch listening to heavy metal, and all I could think about was how disgusted and angry at humanity I was.

I suppose I have a lot of sadness to go through still, a lot of issues to work out, but what is more important in ones life, Money or sanity? Sure I could stick around and loose my insanity, I can see why Charles Manson was like he was. I feel akin to them in some ways, and for reasons I do not follow their path.

What I would really like in life is something many could not understand at least not on the surface. I have set in place a way to prevent me from getting to the point of suicide, but at the same time Death is what I really want, but not for the reasons one would think.

I would embrace death for the peace and quiet, I would embrace it for the lack of hardships and simplicity of it. I really do not have any regrets really, and all my affairs are in order if it does come from outside my own control.

I experienced love, thank you Brina. I experienced marriage and divorce, thanks to Jessica. I have experienced pain, betrayal, sorrow, loss, and dark paths that shattered my very foundations. I have rarely seen happiness, caring, and a sense of honor from many people. This makes my heart ache.

This also produced the being I am today. I give off an aura of danger, fear, or darkness to force people away. I dress in what I dress to fend the human interaction off. I present a cold front because honestly I have lead a life of coldness. The parents did become good people, and I understand that parenting does not come with an instruction book.

I tried my hands at a father, honestly that was difficult but that is one memory I will take beyond my grave. Honestly I was a hard dad, but I was just too. I believe that I loved that child more than myself. Think I always will miss him, and miss her too. I only saw her briefly after she was born. Though time has hardened the heart, the child was a shining sun for this plant. Too bad the mother was an addict, and a dishonorable person at the time.

Life continues, everyday I wake up. Some people are grateful when they wake up, most just ignore it. Yet people like me, we curse it, we want the peace that is brought by death. No I am not suicidal right now, and yes I know many people love me and many would be affected by my death.

But honestly what can I give to this cruel world, what can I offer it. I am not the brightest person, I am not a scientist, and well I already failed in my marital duties when I had them. I don't like visiting people, or talking to people or even going out in public for that matter. It takes a lot of energy just to go out in public in todays time, even to work, that I feel exhausted physically, mentally, and well unstable when I do.

It is like a seedling without light and without water. In Jacksonville it was a caged bird feeling, here it is a sickly feeling. The only things that changed between here and Freakville is the following: Work and no brother. Same lifestyle, same mental prison, same thoughts, but now more stress, and no family to go chill with. No going to a club and getting totally plastered since the sis isn't here to get drunk with me. My weekend is coming to a close and it was only 2 days, it really does suck.

From a caged bird, to a seedling without water and light. Honestly I really do believe if something does not give then my life will become very dark, very unfulfilled, and well psychotic. When I say psychotic I mean loss of all attachment, and emotions.

I suppose I am just another statistic that became a person without life in them, that just drones on from day to day doing what they should instead of living life, finding life, living each day like it is the last. What would I do if it was the last day alive?

Listen to music is loose fitting clothing mending a garden. Quite honestly that is pretty much it, sing songs while I garden. Sounds grand doesn't it. Others would go to fancy restaurants, do something risky, or party as much as possible, hell the drug addicts would spend their money and go out in a drug induced comma. Give me my plants, nature, and anything not really dealing with society and I can find some solace in it. At least I would feel for the day that I contributed to something. Going to work, making relationships, marriage, all this breaks, or is really no contribution at all. Even if the marriage or relationship does not break in a divorce, it can not overcome death.

Nature was here before us, will be here after us, if not on this planet then on another. So I would like to assist in the growth of nature, fruits, food, watching a deer pounce through the woods, listen to a stream flowing, telling those that listen of the journey it has taken. Something that really shows what life should be about. I suppose this is what I would do if it was my last day to live. To plant the memory in my mind of how pure life can be, not what humanity has made it to be.

Plant a tree, water it, and lay down to rest the eternal sleep. I would like to die in nature quiet honestly. Breathe my final breath outside on a mountain, during the fall, when it is a crisp pure tasting air.

If I ever get back to a point where I can become a hermit, I plan on taking the chance and doing it. Suppose I may get out the handbook I had to read for survival in nature. Work on sashing ropes and wood, how to frame wood, and such. Personally I would like to live in a secluded spot, where family are but society can not reach me. At least then when I do die it will be in peace. If I died tomorrow it would be wrong, I would die pissed, angry, and disgusted. I want to die a peaceful death, under a tree sapling, that I had just watered.

Walking

The day has grown grey as the storm moves in. For some reason the bright day is depressing in a way. Light shines and like a snake I just want to bath in the heat, course as a child of the night the brightness hurts at times.

The grey clouds slowly turn dark, the wind howls around and then like death springing upon it's prey, a lightning bolt. The smile makes creases alone the face that hardly ever smiles, and something inside snaps. A giggle starts to form like an insanity that can not be contained. The stronger the lightning, the faster the wind, the less control over the euphoria that is forming.

Unlike many people I love a storm, and unlike those that do enjoy the rain, I become euphoric and childlike in my insane laughter, my taunting of the storm for bigger bolts of the blue lines, for more fierce winds that would push people down. And rain the glorious essence that brings life's blood to all creatures.

The lightning clears lands, starts fires, but is that not natural in order to clear a place for the next generation of earthly forests? Is it not the purpose of a storm in the end to bring about new life? This destruction and mayhem brings with it an adrenaline rush as well.

Up and down I jump, like a little kid at Christmas. The stronger it becomes the more awake and alive I feel. The possibility of playing with a tornado, or playing games with a flood, just brings my mentality to a totally completed nirvana.

The day I day I think I would like it to storm, I would love and appreciate it if this world sends me off with a little of what I loved so much in this world. A storm, but not just any storm, I would like to sit there on my death bead and witness a perfect storm, a storm that was given to me by the planet I have loved so much.

If you cut the human element this world is really a great place to live upon. It has fantastic light shows, dark days, bright nights, and on occasion can bring a smile to the face of a person that rarely smiles. For that reason alone I must say I appreciate the earth's storms and disasters. One man's disaster is another mans dream as it was to be said.

Thank You all. Tonight I have taken some sleeping medicine. So I should be off for now.

Stonework *Dao*

Life provides many steps like those made of stone. The master states that life is like a stone. Walk on it and let rain hit it and without proper care the rock will erode and become that of a pebble. Rock is hard but with the slightest touch over time the rock will become smooth and will become small in size.

Each thing in life takes time, and care to be present, like maintaining a stone walk way. Sweep it wash it, and dry it. Never water a stone at night for the sun is not there to dry it. Truth is water expands whatever it touches if only by a slight amount. The expansion with pressure can cause the rock to break, however to dry of a rock will also cause a rock to crack.

I guess life is somewhat like a rock. If your too careful the dry life will crack, and if your not careful enough then life will break. I have never really considered myself to be a good looking fellow, nor a strong gentleman, but I guess that is a way I see myself. In reality I wear away the edges of the rock by being too careful.

One stone a mountain you have not, but many many pebbles can become a mountain. A boulder in the middle of the river can be moved by the current given time. When a person thinks of stone they think stability and fortitude, but any mountain person that has climbed or lived in mountains know that stones are not always secure. In fact stones can be quite the opposite, they can move under your feet, or slide around.

Things are not always what they seem, and occasionally people forget that in their observations. Why bring up stone works, and observations. Well a path laid out should be built with stone on top of water. Giving you the stability of the rock and yet the free flowing of motion from the water. Never forgetting that in observations that things can be quite the opposite from what they appear to be.

Everything has a yin side and a yang side, but most people see one side and ignores the other. Their observations are clouded in a haze of prejudgment. A decision they made up through emotional ties wrapped up from past experiences, and sometimes rightfully so. The pain of loosing love can hurt worse than never having love again.

I have laid a path before me, and while this path is made of stone some careful steps need to be performed to allow fluidity to flourish as well. The plan is simple really, plus it gives the joys of both yin and yang. The plan has the fluidity of being with a person or without. Allowing peace of mind while giving me the ability to engage my mind at will, instead of always having my mind engaged.

Looking up at the galaxy during my vacation, I realized that compared to the things in this universe I am but a small pebble looking for the right beach and the right pebbles to call home. I am a pebble being swept by a current that I can only nudge in a direction. A tidal force being the propulsion of my way. I do not have to be great or grand, or even smart or funny. I just have to be a pebble and let the tidal force plant me where I am to be for the time being. Being content with where I am and what I have been given by the river of time, the river of fate.

Compared to a star I am just a grain of sand on a little blue planet. A beautiful blue and green planet. Being small and realizing I am small is humbling, and to be honest I am fine with being a small spec of sand, hidden in the background that people do not see, only ones that see the light from this pebble are those that look. I am fine with knowing there are few out there that can acknowledge this pebble, and that enjoy having this pebble around.

Just background noise for all others, a piece of dirt nothing special, but in the dirt you occasionally find gold, and only those that look at the dirt will find it. Those that go on by and say, nothing special about that it is just a piece of dirt, will pass a gold nugget without realizing it.

My lesson for today. We are small compared to the view of the galaxy. We observe humanity with emotions and prejudge things instead of looking for the good in people. If you never find out what is beneath the surface you may never find the finer things of a person.