What is a name? What power does it hold? I used to think a name held power over me, shaped my destiny, and even made my identity. A name is a word, a word is something created by man, created to identify with an object so they can understand it.
I used to be very proud of my name, used to be very protective of my name. I sit and think about this subject tonight and realize a name is of no importance to a person. For the last several months Sprint techs call me Jason, I guess I could sound like a Jason, and it does not bother me to answer and let it slip to the wayside.
Lately I correct them not because it bothers me, but because there is a Jason among the techs now and I would like their documentation correct. Personally I think I would answer to any name, as I just see it as a noun to identify with me and that is about all a name is worth to me.
At one time I thought a name held my destiny, I thought I had to be more than what I was able to be. Jacob being a leader in the bible, only after trickery. Meant I had to be smarter and sly to get anywhere. For the most part that was my life in the early years. I even formed a new identity to gain power as such Dragons were the symbol of power and wisdom.
Years have gone by. Though I seem to reflect more in these days than in the past I come to many conclusions. One conclusion is that when a name becomes the source of pride, and control then the ego is released and the spiral down to oblivion will start.
Does your pride make you who you are? Does your name? Does your destiny run upon such things? Being a humble person seems to suit me better than what I did in my past. Learning my path, my Dao in the last 2 years have given me more to learn. I learned that I am just a single piece of the Dao, and a name was given to identify that one piece in order to track its journey. There is no meaning or control in regards to that name, it is just a word to identify with, but in that identity the Dao energy is manipulated into a singularity by the human ego, by pride, and by greed.
Sun Wukong, Wukong meaning "Awaken to Emptiness" sounds mean and cruel. The idea of someone calling another person stupid is what many come to believe. I however have a different idea of the matter. Dao tries to bring a person to still mind, one that does not occupy itself with the outside storms that rage. I think Sun was honored to have this name because where there is emptiness there is stillness.
Once again though it was just a name to identify with Sun. It did not control his destiny, and it surely did not give him any power, or mean really much to what he was to become.
I went through my childhood disliking my name, then a time where it was my pride, and now to a point where it is just a name. A person searching for an identity can not rely on a name to form that identity. A name does not make a person, but the actions make the being.
If I went by any other name, it would not matter, as the actions of a person makes the person who they are. The last 2 years have been long at times, and short at other times. I have lived but a moment in time, and yet have lived several life times in those brief moments. My actions have been kind and yet somehow still seem cruel at times.
A name is given to a person for their life time. If a person lived a life time in moments then how can you call that name for the current lifetime. What do you call a person that has no name, and no desire to remain in what most people see as daily life? What do you call a fool that is a sage? A sage that is a fool? Thinking about the last 2 years and the things I have seen, the things I have done, makes my name seem small. It makes my being seem compressed into a small area that never seems to burst.
A name, a word or noun picked out by a parent to try to give a child a destiny, or an identity. What happens when that child takes control or throws out that name and decides they will form their own identity with actions not names. What if they become kind, but were named after a meaning of cruel rulers, or power hungry men? Would the name be suitable then? Can you change your destiny by changing you name? A being is still the same being regardless of what you call them, only by actions do they ever change their destiny, their final journeys end point.
Not a religious end point, but the idea of leading a life that could potentially have given others a good start on life, or a less rocky life style, or even a more peaceful exit off the stage. Actions regardless of the size can have a grand effect. A word can cause a person tumbling into oblivion, to start the climb back up, support to that person can help them climb faster up the ravine. Monetary assistance can help a person get back on their feet, or make the roads a head a little more bearable even if they were still rocky. A dinner to show a friend you care, can help bring them from feeling down to feeling loved.
The actions one performs will not be known the results until the end destination of that person. Wouldn't it be better though to perform the actions just to try to help another out without any gain to oneself, or praise of another. But with the full intention of making their life a little better.
I care not about my depressions, or my hardships, just as long as those do not get in the way of giving me the ability to help others, help friends, and help strangers as well. I can bear the weight of the world if it meant that is what I had to do in order to see the young smile, the middle age have an easier life, and the old to exit in peace. I would bear it all on my shoulders if that is what was needed. My name has no roots to such thoughts, to such caring and to such ideas. A name is nothing but an fictional identity. A name to me is a self idea. How am I different from another, only by actions am I different, but the same blood, the same energy that pours out of another pours out of me. Their is no difference of the flowers only the name of the vase that holds the flowers.
So a name is unimportant in the Dao, honor is just as unimportant, and pride is the thought that will strip the Dao away from you.
Friday, February 12, 2010
Saturday, February 6, 2010
The Gray... *Wisdom Dao*
The day is drawing close and time is pressing from all sides. The anxiety is crushing down, but in the midst of all the pressure, confusion, doubts, and darkness there is a sense of relief, a sense of peaceful resolve, and a sense of calm.
The light hitting the darkness causing an area to remain in shadows. The shadows constantly caught between the despair, anxiety, and loneliness and that of hope, dreams, unrequited love comes an area of contentment, peace, and free flowing flexibility.
The area where dreams are possible, and devistation is equally possible. Though the hour is long and time is drawing close, the shadows span the length of time. Not all people get their dreams, and not all people get the devistation that is present in everyday life, some are just happy being in the shadows.
To be kind and understand people that have dreams come true and those that experience pulverizing nightmares. To act to a person through kindness and not motive driven forces. To contribute to anothers life without claiming reward for their deed. The shadow claims no praise, and yet when it does feel praise it seems like failure.
Why does the shadow feel sorrow when praise is offered? Why does the shadow feel uplifted when a good deed is unnoticed? Does the shadow area cause a reverse effect of what every day people seem to be accustomed to? The shadow is an ever lasting glade of calmness, everlasting peace, and a place void of the human ego. To allow a compliment and become proud of the gratitude of another is allowing ego to let the darkness in? To perform an aciton and get no reaction but to know the person's day, month, year and time was made a little better without praise brings more real estate to the glade.
How can the glade be given more real estate? The release of the ego, and the self righteous attitude allows a good deed done from the heart to remain pure, that purity pushs on both dreams and nightmares creating the alluring landscape of contentment, and the peaceful residence of the Daoist.
The Tao Te Ching states "High beings of deep universal virtue work unassertively. They help all people yet people are barely aware of their existence." To hold a door for a person, or to offer assitance to another how is this against the universal virtue. To tell a person that which they need to hear to redirect their life, but offer it in a way where they themselves answer the issue, how can one not offer help in the world, how can one not have virtue?
To assist without seeming to assist, to provide small feats that seem menial or unimportant, can these really mean very little? If an action such as holding doors or loaning money is menial or unimportant remember the lessons of old. A fisherman that bought a fish and saw it smile, release the fish though hungry and starving. The fish was said to be a local diety and visited the poor man. The man was taken care of even though the release of a fish may have seemed menial, it had drastic affects.
No action is menial, no action is unaccounted for, all actions are presented with the same weight. Do an evil deed and the soul becomes heavy, do a good deed and the soul becomes lighter. Be wary about only doing righteous, too much of a good thing can be detrimental and considered dark, and dark becomes light. Light becomes dark and dark into light. A balance a life in the shadows of society, of humanity, and of your internal being.
Enlighten oneself too fast and the sage becomes the fool. Become one with thyself first. To balance the world one must balance themselves first. Keep a little self interest in the manner of money, but discard all self interest when dealing with others. Instead keep the interests of others close to the heart, and your heart will beat with theirs. To find a moment when one smiles they can easily remember the times when they helped another smile without any motive behind it, just the kind heart of wanting to see another smile.
I sing your praise and care not of my own issues. If I am depressed I will mention it, if I have the darker thoughts come, I will manage them. My road should not concern another, the only important thing is that the other people are taken very good care of. My life was over before it began, and now that it ended a spark causes a life to be devoted to helping others, through small steps at first.
To balance one self one must not leap around when on a thin platform. If one jumps onthe beam one will surely fall from that platform. Bridges in one's soul can be built with many different materials. Bridges of stone will span through time. Stone bridges can be shaped and honed into beautiful masterieces. Some can be built out of clay, gold, silver, jade, and even those built from rope.
The significance of a bridge is to go from one aspect to another, or to form a bond between two banks divided by the river. The material used is determined by the actions that pertain to the object the bridge is being built for. You would not build a stone bridge is your not planning to return through the same path. You would not build a rope bridge if you plan to constantly walk across a river.
Jade and gold will be destroyed and pillaged by those of self interest. These bridges you would not build for public show, but would cultivate them for your monetary benefit, stashed away for safe keeping, and for use in your endeavours to assit others, to maintain a life that permits the assistance of others, and to further ones abilities to assist others.
Just like bridges one must cautious of thieves. Theives come in many forms and from many directions in life. The most dangerous theif comes from oneself, the ego and self gain one contemplates prepares to steal away from the glade, threatens to darken your world, and allows the worms to eat your insides.
Most common causes for a theif to come is for fame, riches, religious, or to possess power. Beware of these theives, these theives threaten to make you poor, descredit your ideals, and to beat you down by utilizing your own selflessness against you. They will funnel money by looking like they need to be helped. They will claim that they need spiritual guidance to overcome a demon, but intend the demon to devour you. There are thieves that claim they want peace and contentment, but will look for ways to have power over you.
In the long travels of my life I have seen all these types of theives. Some have consumed me and left me to rot by the side of the road, some have destroyed me by utilizing my own weakness to see how far and fast I fell. Regardless of the theif, regardless of the issue, the shadows tend to allow one to become safe while they gain back their health, and their strength to climb out of the hole, to come back to life. The great thing about death is that once the shadows allow you to come back to life, the road you began on can be different than the one previously traveled.
One must travel roads with a light foot. If one walks with a heavy foot then they will not make it to the destination. If you are tired rest, if you are being chased take a different route, and if you are hungry take a walk through the wilderness where food grows naturally.
Size is relevant, and size is in the perception of those that look upon it. If a problem looks large, close your eyes and clear your perception, and the issue can then be defined as many small issues. A person that can still the mind has the ability to spring into many directions of thought in an instant as well. A person that can attack a problem from many directions will soon find the problem's weakness. A weakness can be exploited to form a resolution, a resolution means no problem. Upon forming a resolution to a problem, the problem is no longer a problem, from that point it is a matter of executing the resolution.
Shadow allows one to not be blinded by self righteousness, and not to be consumed by gain, with this area one may be able to define size, or see theives a little easier than living in the other areas. Build bridges of types that need to be built and avoid building the types that could cause adversity in the areas they don't belong. To find the answers visit the gray area, visit shadows and allow time to think the issue through carefully. If rest is needed release yourself from thought and enjoy the peace of the glade.
Remember no matter how a an action or plan of action is done, some things are beyond your control. Do not panic! Return to the glade and look for the opportunity to make a negative into a possitive, even if the positive is in fact the negative. If you walk straight toward a river do you not turn your direction to walk down the river, one who can bend will stand at the banks of the river and say it is hopeless.
The light hitting the darkness causing an area to remain in shadows. The shadows constantly caught between the despair, anxiety, and loneliness and that of hope, dreams, unrequited love comes an area of contentment, peace, and free flowing flexibility.
The area where dreams are possible, and devistation is equally possible. Though the hour is long and time is drawing close, the shadows span the length of time. Not all people get their dreams, and not all people get the devistation that is present in everyday life, some are just happy being in the shadows.
To be kind and understand people that have dreams come true and those that experience pulverizing nightmares. To act to a person through kindness and not motive driven forces. To contribute to anothers life without claiming reward for their deed. The shadow claims no praise, and yet when it does feel praise it seems like failure.
Why does the shadow feel sorrow when praise is offered? Why does the shadow feel uplifted when a good deed is unnoticed? Does the shadow area cause a reverse effect of what every day people seem to be accustomed to? The shadow is an ever lasting glade of calmness, everlasting peace, and a place void of the human ego. To allow a compliment and become proud of the gratitude of another is allowing ego to let the darkness in? To perform an aciton and get no reaction but to know the person's day, month, year and time was made a little better without praise brings more real estate to the glade.
How can the glade be given more real estate? The release of the ego, and the self righteous attitude allows a good deed done from the heart to remain pure, that purity pushs on both dreams and nightmares creating the alluring landscape of contentment, and the peaceful residence of the Daoist.
The Tao Te Ching states "High beings of deep universal virtue work unassertively. They help all people yet people are barely aware of their existence." To hold a door for a person, or to offer assitance to another how is this against the universal virtue. To tell a person that which they need to hear to redirect their life, but offer it in a way where they themselves answer the issue, how can one not offer help in the world, how can one not have virtue?
To assist without seeming to assist, to provide small feats that seem menial or unimportant, can these really mean very little? If an action such as holding doors or loaning money is menial or unimportant remember the lessons of old. A fisherman that bought a fish and saw it smile, release the fish though hungry and starving. The fish was said to be a local diety and visited the poor man. The man was taken care of even though the release of a fish may have seemed menial, it had drastic affects.
No action is menial, no action is unaccounted for, all actions are presented with the same weight. Do an evil deed and the soul becomes heavy, do a good deed and the soul becomes lighter. Be wary about only doing righteous, too much of a good thing can be detrimental and considered dark, and dark becomes light. Light becomes dark and dark into light. A balance a life in the shadows of society, of humanity, and of your internal being.
Enlighten oneself too fast and the sage becomes the fool. Become one with thyself first. To balance the world one must balance themselves first. Keep a little self interest in the manner of money, but discard all self interest when dealing with others. Instead keep the interests of others close to the heart, and your heart will beat with theirs. To find a moment when one smiles they can easily remember the times when they helped another smile without any motive behind it, just the kind heart of wanting to see another smile.
I sing your praise and care not of my own issues. If I am depressed I will mention it, if I have the darker thoughts come, I will manage them. My road should not concern another, the only important thing is that the other people are taken very good care of. My life was over before it began, and now that it ended a spark causes a life to be devoted to helping others, through small steps at first.
To balance one self one must not leap around when on a thin platform. If one jumps onthe beam one will surely fall from that platform. Bridges in one's soul can be built with many different materials. Bridges of stone will span through time. Stone bridges can be shaped and honed into beautiful masterieces. Some can be built out of clay, gold, silver, jade, and even those built from rope.
The significance of a bridge is to go from one aspect to another, or to form a bond between two banks divided by the river. The material used is determined by the actions that pertain to the object the bridge is being built for. You would not build a stone bridge is your not planning to return through the same path. You would not build a rope bridge if you plan to constantly walk across a river.
Jade and gold will be destroyed and pillaged by those of self interest. These bridges you would not build for public show, but would cultivate them for your monetary benefit, stashed away for safe keeping, and for use in your endeavours to assit others, to maintain a life that permits the assistance of others, and to further ones abilities to assist others.
Just like bridges one must cautious of thieves. Theives come in many forms and from many directions in life. The most dangerous theif comes from oneself, the ego and self gain one contemplates prepares to steal away from the glade, threatens to darken your world, and allows the worms to eat your insides.
Most common causes for a theif to come is for fame, riches, religious, or to possess power. Beware of these theives, these theives threaten to make you poor, descredit your ideals, and to beat you down by utilizing your own selflessness against you. They will funnel money by looking like they need to be helped. They will claim that they need spiritual guidance to overcome a demon, but intend the demon to devour you. There are thieves that claim they want peace and contentment, but will look for ways to have power over you.
In the long travels of my life I have seen all these types of theives. Some have consumed me and left me to rot by the side of the road, some have destroyed me by utilizing my own weakness to see how far and fast I fell. Regardless of the theif, regardless of the issue, the shadows tend to allow one to become safe while they gain back their health, and their strength to climb out of the hole, to come back to life. The great thing about death is that once the shadows allow you to come back to life, the road you began on can be different than the one previously traveled.
One must travel roads with a light foot. If one walks with a heavy foot then they will not make it to the destination. If you are tired rest, if you are being chased take a different route, and if you are hungry take a walk through the wilderness where food grows naturally.
Size is relevant, and size is in the perception of those that look upon it. If a problem looks large, close your eyes and clear your perception, and the issue can then be defined as many small issues. A person that can still the mind has the ability to spring into many directions of thought in an instant as well. A person that can attack a problem from many directions will soon find the problem's weakness. A weakness can be exploited to form a resolution, a resolution means no problem. Upon forming a resolution to a problem, the problem is no longer a problem, from that point it is a matter of executing the resolution.
Shadow allows one to not be blinded by self righteousness, and not to be consumed by gain, with this area one may be able to define size, or see theives a little easier than living in the other areas. Build bridges of types that need to be built and avoid building the types that could cause adversity in the areas they don't belong. To find the answers visit the gray area, visit shadows and allow time to think the issue through carefully. If rest is needed release yourself from thought and enjoy the peace of the glade.
Remember no matter how a an action or plan of action is done, some things are beyond your control. Do not panic! Return to the glade and look for the opportunity to make a negative into a possitive, even if the positive is in fact the negative. If you walk straight toward a river do you not turn your direction to walk down the river, one who can bend will stand at the banks of the river and say it is hopeless.
Wednesday, February 3, 2010
Where??? *Not Dao I guess*
Breathe into me, give me air.
Why are you not near?
Where did you go,
Why is time so slow.
Did you see the snow,
Would you like to glow.
The chill in the air,
Just to play with your hair.
A drive during the day,
with you a nice get away.
To enjoy the lake,
for your passion's sake.
When the day will come,
the hope that i will not be numb.
If love is near,
I hope it is clear.
The games I can not play,
come out with what you say.
The night is on the way,
so lets enjoy the bay.
Ok. I am done rhyming. Next post when I get home.
Why are you not near?
Where did you go,
Why is time so slow.
Did you see the snow,
Would you like to glow.
The chill in the air,
Just to play with your hair.
A drive during the day,
with you a nice get away.
To enjoy the lake,
for your passion's sake.
When the day will come,
the hope that i will not be numb.
If love is near,
I hope it is clear.
The games I can not play,
come out with what you say.
The night is on the way,
so lets enjoy the bay.
Ok. I am done rhyming. Next post when I get home.
Tuesday, February 2, 2010
Catch Me Up.... **Not Dao and Dao**
This is to catch everyone up since I did not write this weekend. I think I was uber depressed, worried, and well unstable this weekend. I am quite surprised I made it through the weekend.
I went to Walmart to do a little shopping, course the anxiety hit even though it was pretty late at night. I talked to a couple friends on the phone but not for very long. I don't think I really had that much human interactions this weekend. Since the cell phone is off it will be harder to get human interaction outside of work.
This brings up a catch 22 that has been a big issue in my life. I get anxiety when I am in public so I stay home, but with lack of human interaction the mind tends to become very inpatient with society, other people, and just being alone. So it tends to drift toward very dark places.
I know depression was there because when I get really depressed I sleep a lot. This was the case this weekend. I was even crashing out watching my anime on the computer. Something that does not normally happen. It was not because of interest level, but more of a body and mind giving out.
Several times I was in a dark place when thinking about things in life, thinking about people in general, and well just dealing with society. I don't think I like people much, but a human mind needs interactions with other people in order to be at ease.
At one point I went outside in the early morning hours to practice some martial arts, and blade work. I was working on slicing a person when they throw a punch. First slicing the wrist level around the wrist, stepping into the swing with the other knife and slicing the arm pit area, making the arm and wrist unusable, then coming back through with the first knife and slicing a retaliation punch on the second side and doing the same thing. After that steping behind with a low swipe to take out the Achilles tendons of the attacker. This takes out the arms and legs making the attacker incapable of any attack there after.
I suppose this is part of the psycho thinking I had this weekend as this occurred shortly after the neighbors started their loud obnoxious party issues. I suppose this makes me a sane person because when I get like that I am afraid of what I am capable of doing and try to pull myself together and not act on such things.
I believe everyone at some point thinks like this but they are afraid to admit it out loud because of what they think others will say or think of them. I see it as everyone has them so it is normal.
So what happened after that, well I did take a nice lovely walk down the road for about 2 hours. Saw about 7 cops pass me and was prepared for them to stop me since I was walking in my Trench coat and Combat boots, however they never stopped me. I so wanted to tell them no to everything and question their profiling too, but none of them did so that is cool with me.
I am worried about not knowing if I am moving or not, I suppose I am allowing this to stress me out a little, so I have thought about smoking again. I did happen to smoke two cigs tonight and will be picking me up a pack shortly.
Funny how smoking the 3 cigarettes now and I can run my tongue across my tooth and not feel it any more. So I suppose I will take it slow on the cigs though. We will see how long I can make a pack last. I might even attempt to quit again after all this move stuff is out of the way. Who knows. It doesn't seem to save me money either way, not with food prices as high as they are.
So now the Dao part, ever go for a walk and just zone out, not know where you are, not caring where you are, just a gaze that sets you in a good mood. I suppose instead of the Cardio x or plyometrics I will go for a walk on those days. It seems to relax me. Put on my combat boots, trench coat and walk in the dead of night. It is really peaceful, and very beautiful without the people of the world obscuring the view and the sound of nature or the silence of night.
I suppose this is what causes me to go into psycho frame of mind, that is not having my peace and quiet. Suppose that is the snake in me. I still have to figure out what I really want to do with the rest of my life. I mean computers is good to get me started but I really get bored with them easily.
Still taking suggestions about what I should do as well. Not sure anything really suits me though. I thought about civic engineering but my fear is that I would get bored of it as well, masonry I am afraid I would not be able to retire, same thing regarding carpentry. Guess at this time I have to stick to computers, which is sad since I despise them so much.
Just roll with the cards that are dealt to me. Bend like the Reed, flow like the water. But when flowing like the water be as strong as the mountain. Just figured that one out. hahahah.
Well at any rate this is your catch up Brina. I hope it is suitable.
I went to Walmart to do a little shopping, course the anxiety hit even though it was pretty late at night. I talked to a couple friends on the phone but not for very long. I don't think I really had that much human interactions this weekend. Since the cell phone is off it will be harder to get human interaction outside of work.
This brings up a catch 22 that has been a big issue in my life. I get anxiety when I am in public so I stay home, but with lack of human interaction the mind tends to become very inpatient with society, other people, and just being alone. So it tends to drift toward very dark places.
I know depression was there because when I get really depressed I sleep a lot. This was the case this weekend. I was even crashing out watching my anime on the computer. Something that does not normally happen. It was not because of interest level, but more of a body and mind giving out.
Several times I was in a dark place when thinking about things in life, thinking about people in general, and well just dealing with society. I don't think I like people much, but a human mind needs interactions with other people in order to be at ease.
At one point I went outside in the early morning hours to practice some martial arts, and blade work. I was working on slicing a person when they throw a punch. First slicing the wrist level around the wrist, stepping into the swing with the other knife and slicing the arm pit area, making the arm and wrist unusable, then coming back through with the first knife and slicing a retaliation punch on the second side and doing the same thing. After that steping behind with a low swipe to take out the Achilles tendons of the attacker. This takes out the arms and legs making the attacker incapable of any attack there after.
I suppose this is part of the psycho thinking I had this weekend as this occurred shortly after the neighbors started their loud obnoxious party issues. I suppose this makes me a sane person because when I get like that I am afraid of what I am capable of doing and try to pull myself together and not act on such things.
I believe everyone at some point thinks like this but they are afraid to admit it out loud because of what they think others will say or think of them. I see it as everyone has them so it is normal.
So what happened after that, well I did take a nice lovely walk down the road for about 2 hours. Saw about 7 cops pass me and was prepared for them to stop me since I was walking in my Trench coat and Combat boots, however they never stopped me. I so wanted to tell them no to everything and question their profiling too, but none of them did so that is cool with me.
I am worried about not knowing if I am moving or not, I suppose I am allowing this to stress me out a little, so I have thought about smoking again. I did happen to smoke two cigs tonight and will be picking me up a pack shortly.
Funny how smoking the 3 cigarettes now and I can run my tongue across my tooth and not feel it any more. So I suppose I will take it slow on the cigs though. We will see how long I can make a pack last. I might even attempt to quit again after all this move stuff is out of the way. Who knows. It doesn't seem to save me money either way, not with food prices as high as they are.
So now the Dao part, ever go for a walk and just zone out, not know where you are, not caring where you are, just a gaze that sets you in a good mood. I suppose instead of the Cardio x or plyometrics I will go for a walk on those days. It seems to relax me. Put on my combat boots, trench coat and walk in the dead of night. It is really peaceful, and very beautiful without the people of the world obscuring the view and the sound of nature or the silence of night.
I suppose this is what causes me to go into psycho frame of mind, that is not having my peace and quiet. Suppose that is the snake in me. I still have to figure out what I really want to do with the rest of my life. I mean computers is good to get me started but I really get bored with them easily.
Still taking suggestions about what I should do as well. Not sure anything really suits me though. I thought about civic engineering but my fear is that I would get bored of it as well, masonry I am afraid I would not be able to retire, same thing regarding carpentry. Guess at this time I have to stick to computers, which is sad since I despise them so much.
Just roll with the cards that are dealt to me. Bend like the Reed, flow like the water. But when flowing like the water be as strong as the mountain. Just figured that one out. hahahah.
Well at any rate this is your catch up Brina. I hope it is suitable.
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