Life is but a dance of shadows, not of light not of darkness but a dance between the two. Tao Te Ching *Lao Tzu*
I have been thinking today about some various things, various ideas, conceptions, and various friends. Some are really dear to me and will be special no matter what, and others I really care about. So with no further ado down to the tributes.
I have a friend that used the term failure. The woman I used to know when I was a kid would never have settled for that thought. She was strong, she was defiant, and she went through life with her fists up in the sign of aversion. You know she is still there inside you, she still does not see you as a failure, and she does not see anything you have done as a failure.
You have a lovely little girl who is precious, you have many things in life around you so how can a person with all these great things view themselves as a failure. There is a great aspect to failing in things in life though and not many people see it.
Failure is a measurement no more no less, but it is a measurement of success. If you were to raise 5000 dollars or 10000 needed did you fail? But you succeeded in raising 5000 of it so it was not a failure, just not enough to accomplish the need the 10000 was for, but the 5000 could still be used and could be for a better cause than the 10000. Say you needed 10000 to pay an old friend off, but you ran into a person that only needed 5000 to save a child's life. Even though you may have failed in the 10000 you did succeed in saving a life. Where failure is present so too you find success. One gives birth to the other, and the other gives rise to another. In success gives the ability for failure and in failure gives birth to success.
Without one you can not have the other. In one you have the other. Nothing is perfect, nothing always goes just right, sometimes things can go wrong, and sometimes you can not control the circumstances. Bend like a reed during these times, let the times roll right over the reed and continue the course it is on, not letting it affect you. Where disaster hits, there is always a rebuilt house, a rebuilt life on the other side of that disaster. Focus on the end and nothing in the middle. Focus on the destination and not on the journey, for the destination is where you wish to go, not how you got there.
Never give up and never give in, if a stranger knocks you down get up and forgive them, and make sure they are alright. Those that care about others before themselves can be said untouchable, unable to be hurt, and pure. I don't see it that way, I see it as a true return to who we are. True return to understanding, loving, and balance.
When you feel like this again, hug the daughter, kiss the husband, walk outside and take a big deep breath and just say Thank You. Such a simple action can renew the fire within. Know that there are people in this world that love you for the simple fact that you are important.
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I have another friend that is starting a new beginning. The new beginning can be scary, fun, adventurous and a defining moment in life. A return to the old, a keeping of the new, and a throwing out of things you do not like. It truly is a great adventure. Brave one is to start a new, just remember if anything happens friends are around, but we can not read minds, please come and talk to us if you ever need to. We love you so much, and are glad your back. I can't wait to see what your version 2.0 brings to your kind heart.
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Another friend comes to mind. While I write. Though things in life we do with good intention, sometimes intention blinds the eyes and hurts those close to us. During my training, and my path I have a strong pull to be a gentle person, though I may talk gruff, I still have some rough edges to work on, but the path is not a destination, it is a journey. Do I have my goals set to a destination? How can one follow the path if a destination is the reasoning behind it. I have decided to live life betting myself, giving myself to others, and not take myself for myself.
When doing my arts, I practice with the idea of power but gentle kindness. When practicing with gentle movements, I put power in, when I practice power I put gentleness behind the movements. If something happens I wish to look at the simple idea that humanity does not act violent or harming by nature, but something occurred to spawn the reactions of anger, violence, and deceptions.
In time my dear friend, I wish you find all the happiness you want. Worry not what happens today to yourself, but worry for tomorrow for others.
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Life is hard, decisions can be a great joy, or a great sadness. Do I still love her, yes. Do I still want her, yes. Can I destroy lives to get what I want. No. I can only nurture what life has dealt. Bend like a reed and think of others. I have spent a lot of time to reduce what I have, and eliminate what I want. I only want 2 things now, and if I don't get what I want, then that is alright. I have come to the point to know that want is not a need, and need is always taken care of by the path. Humanity needs very little to live, and well you can have many things and call it living, but life is more than objects you surround yourself with. Life is experienced by putting others before yourself, and not wanting anything more than what the path has given to you.
My dear friends, if ever you needed me, I am always here for you. If ever something happened I will have my heart ready to give to you, if ever you needed me to just be there let me know and I will come. I care about your futures, and I care about your happiness. I am nothing without those I care about, so please don't ever feel it is a burden or your taking me away from anything, you people are my joy, my love, and my life.
Monday, November 30, 2009
Saturday, November 28, 2009
Rough Edges
Sharpen a blade too much and its edge will soon be lost
Fill a house with gold and jade an no one can protect it
Puff yourself with honor and pride and no one can save you from a fall
(__Tao Te Ching__) Lao Tzu
A year has passed and though it seems like I have not done much to strengthen the way I live and walk, it at the same time seems more entangled with the Dao than ever before.
What has Dao shown me? How have I practiced Dao in the last year? A year ago I was back into the occult religions. I was focused on gaining for myself, and although I had a girlfriend I was not happy, I was very destructive to myself. I still have a savings although I am not as obsessed about money as I was, I am once again alone although it is bearable this round, and although I am still a little destructive toward myself it is not as bad as my past attempts of literally destroying my whole being.
A year ago I was obsessed with my Ex-wife, now I only wish her the best she can find. Dao helped me realize that somethings are beyond your control and if you look for the silver lining even a tragedy can open a door to a better outcome. Dao helped me realize the beauty in nature, not as a religious inlet but just for the natural beauty it holds.
Dao has taught me how to live in moderation, and how to sacrifice. With the ability to moderate the food intake, the luxuries, and the toys, I have come very far from the start of my old life. I have started to enjoy the quite and the calm of the mind when meditating, or doing moving meditation. Moving meditation has enhanced movement, muscle growth, and speed.
My temper rarely flares up as much as it used too, and the path has made me accept the fact that my marriage did not work out partly due to my own issues that need worked on. I also finally realized that I should not place blame on her or dislike her for her choice. When one makes a choice others should support that choice not criticize it.
My sleeping patterns have changed, no longer do I wake due to loss of breath, sleep is more restful than in the past yet not as restful as it could be. My wrists hurt less often as they did during those final months before divorce. The body has built mass, but retains the skinny look.
I still have much to do in order to obtain the path fully. I must still not fear desolation and see the abundance in things. Some rough edges still exist, but Dao is not over night and the edges that are still present, they are less harsh and less defined as they once were.
Speech needs to still be tempered, I am still pretty quick to talk at certain instances. Words spoken can be dangerous, but sometimes no words spoken can be just as bad. Times I wish to say more but am unable to.
All things to work on. Silence can be golden, but proper speech can be Jade. A treasure in the language, and a treasure of kindness. Well the block still has it's rough edges but blocks do not turn into masterpieces over night. Once the block is carved, then it will be another long journey to return to the un-carved block.
All things to work on. Silence can be golden, but proper speech can be Jade. A treasure in the language, and a treasure of kindness. Well the block still has it's rough edges but blocks do not turn into masterpieces over night. Once the block is carved, then it will be another long journey to return to the un-carved block.
Friday, November 27, 2009
Outside Influence *Dao*
Darkness exists in all peoples hearts, it is contained, however by the moral ideals of right a person has. Sad to see though that humanity seems to be loosing the control over the darkness.
What causes one to give into the darkness? Religion, politics, an outer influence maybe? What is an outer influence? Some people in life just allows the darkness to consume them, others fight it off daily. Some loose the containment due to outside influences.
I wonder what your god thinks about you after you become an outside influence to another person. Just because you do not murder a person, does that mean your not guilty of the murder? What if words you spoke triggered the person to go into the darkness? Are you sure your still in the light of saintly virtue in your gods eyes?
How can you state you are religious if you criticize, belittle, make assumptions, or judge someone else by this or by that. Judge a person because of a tattoo, the way they dress, or body piercings, Criticize or make belittling comments, upon such things without knowing the person. What you don't comprehend is words are powerful for the just and for the darkness.
Words become one of the keys to outside influence in reality. How long must one hear the words "He will kill you, he will murder you", just because of the clothes one wears, but that person looses control over the darkness and submits too it? If you say such a thing, how can you state your safe in going to your other world area?
You know the person you make fun of could be the nicest person you ever met, however since you judge by looks and not by heart you loose the chance to find a great friend, or a great person to know. Not only that you push them closer to that darkness that no human should have to go to.
Careful in the future as words do have cause and effect. If dark words or evil words are used then you will eventually cause a person to cross over to a dark twisted place that has no limits. Actions are the same way as well. Careful as outside influences has payments to balance out the energies of life. If you become the outside influence, odds are you will pay with pain, life, or something entirely different but just as sinister.
What causes one to give into the darkness? Religion, politics, an outer influence maybe? What is an outer influence? Some people in life just allows the darkness to consume them, others fight it off daily. Some loose the containment due to outside influences.
I wonder what your god thinks about you after you become an outside influence to another person. Just because you do not murder a person, does that mean your not guilty of the murder? What if words you spoke triggered the person to go into the darkness? Are you sure your still in the light of saintly virtue in your gods eyes?
How can you state you are religious if you criticize, belittle, make assumptions, or judge someone else by this or by that. Judge a person because of a tattoo, the way they dress, or body piercings, Criticize or make belittling comments, upon such things without knowing the person. What you don't comprehend is words are powerful for the just and for the darkness.
Words become one of the keys to outside influence in reality. How long must one hear the words "He will kill you, he will murder you", just because of the clothes one wears, but that person looses control over the darkness and submits too it? If you say such a thing, how can you state your safe in going to your other world area?
You know the person you make fun of could be the nicest person you ever met, however since you judge by looks and not by heart you loose the chance to find a great friend, or a great person to know. Not only that you push them closer to that darkness that no human should have to go to.
Careful in the future as words do have cause and effect. If dark words or evil words are used then you will eventually cause a person to cross over to a dark twisted place that has no limits. Actions are the same way as well. Careful as outside influences has payments to balance out the energies of life. If you become the outside influence, odds are you will pay with pain, life, or something entirely different but just as sinister.
Saturday, November 21, 2009
Just some passing thoughts. *Not Dao*
It makes me worry at times, makes me think and at these times thinking is a dangerous place to be. Right now I could really use a release...
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Today I realized I know very little about my oldest brother. I had to shop for a Birthday gift for him, and the sister in law just got so busy she did not call me and inform me what he would like. Not her fault really, I am glad it happened the way it did.
I did get a good present for him. I know he likes Asian themes and well he has statues of Buddha's and Kwan Gong in his living room. So I got him a Jade Buddha riding dragons. I thought the green would bring out the wooden statues out very well.
You know I really don't know much about my brother, see we suffer from the same disorders when it comes to people, even those close to us. It is not his fault and not mine as well, it is just the type of people we are. We live with it, and most the time it bothers us more when we have to be around people than being alone.
He found a good wife, one that can understand the type of person he is, and the personality of his. I may not come to the point ever in looking for another lover, much less a bride. I just don't feel right in it even after 1 year and x months. I really do not wish to put another person through it now that I have isolated my behavior.
Natural balance of things I guess. If I left the city and went back to life in nature then at least a job may be able to be opened for a person... At times I think I do not have a purpose, I feel I lost my purpose... I made her my purpose in life for 8 years, when you loose your purpose in life, and have the kind of marbles rolling around upstairs like I do you seem to loose it. You withdraw into a shell, you turn away from the world you were hurt in.
Thanksgiving is coming up, maybe that is a reason I feel this way. I always hated Swedish Meatballs since the first day I ate one 9 years ago. Thanksgiving though always had Swedish Meatballs, and all though I hate them I will remember them. I did at least always have Cranberry Sauce every Thanksgiving since I was a child. Around the corner from Thanksgiving is Christmas...
Although I never really liked Christmas, I celebrated it for her and the young one. I guess I will miss seeing him open presents I bought him. The odd thing is though, since my world crashed down and I went into my old reality, I don't remember details. I wouldn't know what to buy her son nor her. I would still not want to eat a Swedish Meatball, and I don't remember her beauty.
I know what she looks like, but the beauty I once saw I can not see anymore, I can't remember it. It is like the Body Snatchers movie, honestly that is about the best I can describe where I am. Sad thing is I am pretty sure she does not miss me, I would venture to say that but I am not sure about anything anymore. Well except the fact that I want to raise a farm, learn to rely on nature instead of humanity.
I know I have done many good deeds, and some evil ones too... I don't feel it though, I don't feel like I have done any good or evil in the world. I don't feel like I contribute either way, no matter what I do, no matter the smallness or the bigness of the deed it just doesn't register.
10 years ago I was living with my brother and sister-in-law, 10 years ago started the body snatching. When I met her I changed, I cut my hair, made life about her and screw everyone else, I was business, and I dreamed big for her. I spent money non-stop on her and her son. Waking up I am realizing I miss spending money on her. I miss going to Zales and buying diamonds for her, I miss buying her little gifts. These are the things I remember after the snatching. I guess if the money is there why keep it for yourself, spend it on another.
So I met Ms. Allysa after the divorce. I love her for the simple fact that she is pure in heart. She really loves life. So I want to spoil that child. I want to spoil my nephew too, but he is rebellious because of the teenager in him, so it becomes a little harder in doing that. When spoiling a teenager you can only do it under certain requisites or the lessons of life are not taught.
So my ex-wife's loss in me giving her gifts are others peoples gain. Still I am a banker and I keep my savings and financial in order for future use if need be. Just the idea of giving a gift and spoiling someone is fine though it handles the need I had when I was married. Just now it is other people that get it. The reason I do it has always been the same, always will be. If I have it to give I give it. If I do not have, I will live through it until I do have it to give. What do I get, well I would not say happiness but they are the times in life I truly feel connected to. The rare times when my smile is truly heart felt.
Most of the time my smile is caused by auto-pilot, not by the heart. A coma is another way to describe what it feels like. Although I function in life I am not really truly in the moment, my emotions, my feelings, my core self is tucked away on vacation. I think maybe that is the reason I can't pick up a Cisco book and study. I used to love routers, switches, and networking. Now I have no true interest in it.
I do miss my ex-wife, and I do miss the boy, but if it was something I could have prevented with marriage counseling then the divorce would not have been done. So I know there is nothing I can do but to move on. If you can call it that. I am back where I was 10 years ago in many ways. No desire to have a girlfriend, no desire to get married, actually no desire to do or have anything really. Nothing is there in me, an empty shell if you will. Not that I am unhappy with that, but I am not happy about it either. It is a No Comment type of action.
At least this Thanksgiving will be one more back to normal. No Girlfriend, no wife, just Filipino food, American Food and a big crowd of Filipino Family getting together. I don't really feel I belong or feel like an outcast, but at least it is familiar and I am comfortable being there. So many Thanksgivings I felt out of place, I felt confined and I felt anxiety.
Still debating on emailing her and wishing her a Happy Thanksgiving? It does nothing for her really and is just harder on me. Maybe I won't, I need to just let her go fully from memory and from my life, but she was my wife which has a giant hold in my upbringing too. I don't know, more than likely I won't I have to be in good spirits and enjoy the holiday with family and if I email her and get depressed even more than what I normally live with, it will not be a good holiday.
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Today I realized I know very little about my oldest brother. I had to shop for a Birthday gift for him, and the sister in law just got so busy she did not call me and inform me what he would like. Not her fault really, I am glad it happened the way it did.
I did get a good present for him. I know he likes Asian themes and well he has statues of Buddha's and Kwan Gong in his living room. So I got him a Jade Buddha riding dragons. I thought the green would bring out the wooden statues out very well.
You know I really don't know much about my brother, see we suffer from the same disorders when it comes to people, even those close to us. It is not his fault and not mine as well, it is just the type of people we are. We live with it, and most the time it bothers us more when we have to be around people than being alone.
He found a good wife, one that can understand the type of person he is, and the personality of his. I may not come to the point ever in looking for another lover, much less a bride. I just don't feel right in it even after 1 year and x months. I really do not wish to put another person through it now that I have isolated my behavior.
Natural balance of things I guess. If I left the city and went back to life in nature then at least a job may be able to be opened for a person... At times I think I do not have a purpose, I feel I lost my purpose... I made her my purpose in life for 8 years, when you loose your purpose in life, and have the kind of marbles rolling around upstairs like I do you seem to loose it. You withdraw into a shell, you turn away from the world you were hurt in.
Thanksgiving is coming up, maybe that is a reason I feel this way. I always hated Swedish Meatballs since the first day I ate one 9 years ago. Thanksgiving though always had Swedish Meatballs, and all though I hate them I will remember them. I did at least always have Cranberry Sauce every Thanksgiving since I was a child. Around the corner from Thanksgiving is Christmas...
Although I never really liked Christmas, I celebrated it for her and the young one. I guess I will miss seeing him open presents I bought him. The odd thing is though, since my world crashed down and I went into my old reality, I don't remember details. I wouldn't know what to buy her son nor her. I would still not want to eat a Swedish Meatball, and I don't remember her beauty.
I know what she looks like, but the beauty I once saw I can not see anymore, I can't remember it. It is like the Body Snatchers movie, honestly that is about the best I can describe where I am. Sad thing is I am pretty sure she does not miss me, I would venture to say that but I am not sure about anything anymore. Well except the fact that I want to raise a farm, learn to rely on nature instead of humanity.
I know I have done many good deeds, and some evil ones too... I don't feel it though, I don't feel like I have done any good or evil in the world. I don't feel like I contribute either way, no matter what I do, no matter the smallness or the bigness of the deed it just doesn't register.
10 years ago I was living with my brother and sister-in-law, 10 years ago started the body snatching. When I met her I changed, I cut my hair, made life about her and screw everyone else, I was business, and I dreamed big for her. I spent money non-stop on her and her son. Waking up I am realizing I miss spending money on her. I miss going to Zales and buying diamonds for her, I miss buying her little gifts. These are the things I remember after the snatching. I guess if the money is there why keep it for yourself, spend it on another.
So I met Ms. Allysa after the divorce. I love her for the simple fact that she is pure in heart. She really loves life. So I want to spoil that child. I want to spoil my nephew too, but he is rebellious because of the teenager in him, so it becomes a little harder in doing that. When spoiling a teenager you can only do it under certain requisites or the lessons of life are not taught.
So my ex-wife's loss in me giving her gifts are others peoples gain. Still I am a banker and I keep my savings and financial in order for future use if need be. Just the idea of giving a gift and spoiling someone is fine though it handles the need I had when I was married. Just now it is other people that get it. The reason I do it has always been the same, always will be. If I have it to give I give it. If I do not have, I will live through it until I do have it to give. What do I get, well I would not say happiness but they are the times in life I truly feel connected to. The rare times when my smile is truly heart felt.
Most of the time my smile is caused by auto-pilot, not by the heart. A coma is another way to describe what it feels like. Although I function in life I am not really truly in the moment, my emotions, my feelings, my core self is tucked away on vacation. I think maybe that is the reason I can't pick up a Cisco book and study. I used to love routers, switches, and networking. Now I have no true interest in it.
I do miss my ex-wife, and I do miss the boy, but if it was something I could have prevented with marriage counseling then the divorce would not have been done. So I know there is nothing I can do but to move on. If you can call it that. I am back where I was 10 years ago in many ways. No desire to have a girlfriend, no desire to get married, actually no desire to do or have anything really. Nothing is there in me, an empty shell if you will. Not that I am unhappy with that, but I am not happy about it either. It is a No Comment type of action.
At least this Thanksgiving will be one more back to normal. No Girlfriend, no wife, just Filipino food, American Food and a big crowd of Filipino Family getting together. I don't really feel I belong or feel like an outcast, but at least it is familiar and I am comfortable being there. So many Thanksgivings I felt out of place, I felt confined and I felt anxiety.
Still debating on emailing her and wishing her a Happy Thanksgiving? It does nothing for her really and is just harder on me. Maybe I won't, I need to just let her go fully from memory and from my life, but she was my wife which has a giant hold in my upbringing too. I don't know, more than likely I won't I have to be in good spirits and enjoy the holiday with family and if I email her and get depressed even more than what I normally live with, it will not be a good holiday.
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
In another place, In another time *Neutral Dao*
The Daoist walked in the Cove that one spring morning, listening to nature wake up, meditating on the sounds of the cove. Relaxation always came easy in the cove, things moved slowly time seemed to circle ever so slow.
Being content with the surroundings, listening to nature, and watching the animals play, survive, and interact with one another was the best choice the Daoist made when he left the busy city, busy job, and busy life.
Then a voice came like a dream, a voice from that past long ago. First anxiety hit for a dream it seemed like, then a calm came when he realized a different pitch, a different demeanor in the voice.
The circle of time continues to form and sever connections in life, only to occasionally reform the connection later on. Though the Cove may be going through the seasons, the Daoist is still in winter inside, still reflecting on past and present items in life.
Greetings given to the newest member of the Cove, recalling past times, and current life styles. Time changes people... Time changes things... Time alters all things... Time is able to be transcended by a Daoist, life in the past, present and future all in harmony and yet not live in any of them as well. Time does not affect a Daoist the same, but the reconnect always comes and goes. The amount of time varies depended on the need of the Daoist, and of the other party involved.
The black cat starts to form a relationship with the one that feeds it over time, but time only seems relevant to those that choose to live by the restrictions it puts up. A different place, a different time we could have been lovers... A different place, a different time we could have kept the honest childhood love. A different place, a different time we could have stayed married. A different place, a different time we could have made our marriage happy.
What is needed is provided, no more no less as there needs to be a balance, a harmony in the order of things. Inevitability is there to keep the balance, to keep the harmony. You can't fight inevitability, if you try you will still be lead down the same paths as you were meant to be. Claim nothing in life, and therefore own everything...
If we claim nothing in life, then one realized nothing is needed, and if nothing is needed then we have everything that is needed already. Time marches on, re-connect here re-connect there. A circle starts to shape, different from the past, yet still the same. Little differences here, little similarity there.
In society you become a number, in nature you become part of the ecosystem. In society greed, and deception is leader of emotions. In nature survival and assistance to other creatures become the concern.
Chase a dream and one will become a raging lunatic and possibly get the dream, but most times your left with your own rage, and a dream that gets farther away. Chasing dreams is like chasing a stray cat. Run as fast as you can, but the cat always seems faster and farther away then when you started.
I have a black widow living on my porch, at my apartment.. I talk to animals like they are real people, I really only have them in my daily life so it helps me to do so. I have friends, and I have contact with people almost daily, but they don't know me, they can't understand my reality in it's complexity. I love them anyways for they try to understand, and some understand the surface of my issue.
So I told Mr. Spider (It is male due to markings), that I would not mess with him, provided he stays outside. I have arachnophobia by the way. In a different place, in a different time I would have crushed the spider with no remorse. My friend is only looking to survive though, to lead life catching food and building his webs. How can I now disrupt the natural order of things.
It is not the black cats fault his previous owners abandoned him, yet many times in life this occurs, people want pets and then things get hard and the pet is the first to get kicked out. This would be the reason I have issues with people having animals as pets. Animals should thrive in their real environment. If your lonely don't get a dog, get a companion of the same species, interact with another human.
In another time, in another place... In the past I was rebellious and in debt... In another place, in another time... I am no longer the irresponsible child I was. I focus on taking care of the bills, paying them on time, and just throwing the rest in savings. I live a meager life, but it is my life, and for the most part it is what I need and not what I wanted. How is one to be upset if the need is taken care of. Flush greed out, flush extravagance out, flush the definition of what society states you need, and go with what is in your heart as being needed. You will find that what is needed is a lot less than you originally thought.
A disorder is only a disorder if one tries to fight it, but can be seen as a gift if one accepts it. A disaster is only a disaster due to the eyes and views that one looks at it with, in anything that happens there is the dark side and the light side, it just seems impossible to find the bright side of things at time, but the lining is there, it will be there for those that seek it out to find it.
Time revolves around another rotation down, another rotation starts. Since finding the Dao once more things seem to go in circles now. Time thought of as being flat, ends up being cyclic in nature, relationships once gone seem to reconnect and severe again, leading into the circle of things.
Cycle of time comes and it goes. It seems like a long time ago, I wrote for the readers, not about specific people. Time twisted my writings and made them specific to an issue or person. Time comes again where the writings are not specific to a person, but is intended for you as a reader whoever you are.
Do I worry about being attacked by a spider, not anymore if it is done it was to be, nothing more nothing less. My friend the Black Cat I deeply care for, but I do not cage him up, tame him, and take away his identity. I love him, I want him to survive, I feed him, I talk to him, but never would I take from him. It feels much better to give to him what is needed, nothing more and nothing less. He gives to me what I need to. An entity to talk to that does not judge in the slightest, that does not bite the hand that feeds him.
So many cats in my life that have been shown some level of kindness and yet the hand was bitten for one reason or another. The black cat and I have an arrangement where he will come close, but not up to me, and I will not disturb his life with my touch. Affection given at a distance. To many times I lost those animals I loved, to close and the pain hurts. Yes I am talking about a real cat and not using it as a metaphor. The metaphor was the cats used in the past.
I sit and watch my squirrel friends, I talk to the cat and ask him to leave them be, that if food is needed come to me. I buy food, but everyone knows my appetite, so instead of just throwing the food out, I feel I can help the cat. I have not even grocery shopped in 1 1/2 months.
I eat when needed, but do not feel like eating most the time. My body has gotten used to eating once a day or once every 2 days. I sleep when needed, and I hide in the reality of the Jade Cove. I cultivate my being in the Cove, I extend my dealings from the Cove.
Yet when all is said and done, I do nothing but have done everything. I am not here but I am everywhere as well. Does one need to open a door to see the things beyond, or can they simply look through the window and enjoy the site?
Being content with the surroundings, listening to nature, and watching the animals play, survive, and interact with one another was the best choice the Daoist made when he left the busy city, busy job, and busy life.
Then a voice came like a dream, a voice from that past long ago. First anxiety hit for a dream it seemed like, then a calm came when he realized a different pitch, a different demeanor in the voice.
The circle of time continues to form and sever connections in life, only to occasionally reform the connection later on. Though the Cove may be going through the seasons, the Daoist is still in winter inside, still reflecting on past and present items in life.
Greetings given to the newest member of the Cove, recalling past times, and current life styles. Time changes people... Time changes things... Time alters all things... Time is able to be transcended by a Daoist, life in the past, present and future all in harmony and yet not live in any of them as well. Time does not affect a Daoist the same, but the reconnect always comes and goes. The amount of time varies depended on the need of the Daoist, and of the other party involved.
The black cat starts to form a relationship with the one that feeds it over time, but time only seems relevant to those that choose to live by the restrictions it puts up. A different place, a different time we could have been lovers... A different place, a different time we could have kept the honest childhood love. A different place, a different time we could have stayed married. A different place, a different time we could have made our marriage happy.
What is needed is provided, no more no less as there needs to be a balance, a harmony in the order of things. Inevitability is there to keep the balance, to keep the harmony. You can't fight inevitability, if you try you will still be lead down the same paths as you were meant to be. Claim nothing in life, and therefore own everything...
If we claim nothing in life, then one realized nothing is needed, and if nothing is needed then we have everything that is needed already. Time marches on, re-connect here re-connect there. A circle starts to shape, different from the past, yet still the same. Little differences here, little similarity there.
In society you become a number, in nature you become part of the ecosystem. In society greed, and deception is leader of emotions. In nature survival and assistance to other creatures become the concern.
Chase a dream and one will become a raging lunatic and possibly get the dream, but most times your left with your own rage, and a dream that gets farther away. Chasing dreams is like chasing a stray cat. Run as fast as you can, but the cat always seems faster and farther away then when you started.
I have a black widow living on my porch, at my apartment.. I talk to animals like they are real people, I really only have them in my daily life so it helps me to do so. I have friends, and I have contact with people almost daily, but they don't know me, they can't understand my reality in it's complexity. I love them anyways for they try to understand, and some understand the surface of my issue.
So I told Mr. Spider (It is male due to markings), that I would not mess with him, provided he stays outside. I have arachnophobia by the way. In a different place, in a different time I would have crushed the spider with no remorse. My friend is only looking to survive though, to lead life catching food and building his webs. How can I now disrupt the natural order of things.
It is not the black cats fault his previous owners abandoned him, yet many times in life this occurs, people want pets and then things get hard and the pet is the first to get kicked out. This would be the reason I have issues with people having animals as pets. Animals should thrive in their real environment. If your lonely don't get a dog, get a companion of the same species, interact with another human.
In another time, in another place... In the past I was rebellious and in debt... In another place, in another time... I am no longer the irresponsible child I was. I focus on taking care of the bills, paying them on time, and just throwing the rest in savings. I live a meager life, but it is my life, and for the most part it is what I need and not what I wanted. How is one to be upset if the need is taken care of. Flush greed out, flush extravagance out, flush the definition of what society states you need, and go with what is in your heart as being needed. You will find that what is needed is a lot less than you originally thought.
A disorder is only a disorder if one tries to fight it, but can be seen as a gift if one accepts it. A disaster is only a disaster due to the eyes and views that one looks at it with, in anything that happens there is the dark side and the light side, it just seems impossible to find the bright side of things at time, but the lining is there, it will be there for those that seek it out to find it.
Time revolves around another rotation down, another rotation starts. Since finding the Dao once more things seem to go in circles now. Time thought of as being flat, ends up being cyclic in nature, relationships once gone seem to reconnect and severe again, leading into the circle of things.
Cycle of time comes and it goes. It seems like a long time ago, I wrote for the readers, not about specific people. Time twisted my writings and made them specific to an issue or person. Time comes again where the writings are not specific to a person, but is intended for you as a reader whoever you are.
Do I worry about being attacked by a spider, not anymore if it is done it was to be, nothing more nothing less. My friend the Black Cat I deeply care for, but I do not cage him up, tame him, and take away his identity. I love him, I want him to survive, I feed him, I talk to him, but never would I take from him. It feels much better to give to him what is needed, nothing more and nothing less. He gives to me what I need to. An entity to talk to that does not judge in the slightest, that does not bite the hand that feeds him.
So many cats in my life that have been shown some level of kindness and yet the hand was bitten for one reason or another. The black cat and I have an arrangement where he will come close, but not up to me, and I will not disturb his life with my touch. Affection given at a distance. To many times I lost those animals I loved, to close and the pain hurts. Yes I am talking about a real cat and not using it as a metaphor. The metaphor was the cats used in the past.
I sit and watch my squirrel friends, I talk to the cat and ask him to leave them be, that if food is needed come to me. I buy food, but everyone knows my appetite, so instead of just throwing the food out, I feel I can help the cat. I have not even grocery shopped in 1 1/2 months.
I eat when needed, but do not feel like eating most the time. My body has gotten used to eating once a day or once every 2 days. I sleep when needed, and I hide in the reality of the Jade Cove. I cultivate my being in the Cove, I extend my dealings from the Cove.
Yet when all is said and done, I do nothing but have done everything. I am not here but I am everywhere as well. Does one need to open a door to see the things beyond, or can they simply look through the window and enjoy the site?
Saturday, November 14, 2009
The Crisis Situation *Wise Dao*
When presented with a crisis situation remember to do the following:
1. Don't panic
Panic makes for bad decisions, plus enhances possibly dangerous situations. Remember in a crisis situation if you panic you could die, get hurt, or make the crisis worse.
2. Breath
Breathing provides the moment to relax in the situation, if you are relaxed and not rigid it will provide a way to become flexible to the situation. This also leads to the next step of clearing the mind.
3. Clear your mind
If one can clear the mind of all distractions of the emotions going on, then one can clearly start to think of valid solutions.
4. Bend with the crisis
Until a solution is formed bend with the crisis, work with it not against it. If the crisis is worked with then the solution has time to fruit.
5. Formulate the best possible solution
With the clear mind and the ability to bend with the crisis this allows for a formulation of a solution, although the solution may not occur at the beginning of the crisis, it will eventually be present during the crisis. Just never panic and wait for Opportunity, while constantly formulating plans.
6. Act according to the plan.
The only derivative of this is if a situation changes one must be able to adapt the plan quickly for the same results.
I believe many people out there does not understand handling a crisis situation very well. They were never taught the steps to handling it. The best defense is a strong educated mind.
1. Don't panic
Panic makes for bad decisions, plus enhances possibly dangerous situations. Remember in a crisis situation if you panic you could die, get hurt, or make the crisis worse.
2. Breath
Breathing provides the moment to relax in the situation, if you are relaxed and not rigid it will provide a way to become flexible to the situation. This also leads to the next step of clearing the mind.
3. Clear your mind
If one can clear the mind of all distractions of the emotions going on, then one can clearly start to think of valid solutions.
4. Bend with the crisis
Until a solution is formed bend with the crisis, work with it not against it. If the crisis is worked with then the solution has time to fruit.
5. Formulate the best possible solution
With the clear mind and the ability to bend with the crisis this allows for a formulation of a solution, although the solution may not occur at the beginning of the crisis, it will eventually be present during the crisis. Just never panic and wait for Opportunity, while constantly formulating plans.
6. Act according to the plan.
The only derivative of this is if a situation changes one must be able to adapt the plan quickly for the same results.
I believe many people out there does not understand handling a crisis situation very well. They were never taught the steps to handling it. The best defense is a strong educated mind.
Friday, November 13, 2009
Wu *Dao to Dao*
Thirty spokes of a wheel all join at a common hub
yet only the hole at the center
allows the wheel to spin
Clay is molded to form a cup
yet only the space within
allows the cup to hold water
Wall are joined to make a room
yet only by cutting out a door and a window
can one enter the room and live there
Thus, when a thing has existence alone it is mere dead-weight. Only when it has wu, does it have life.
The five colors blind the eye
The five tones deafen the ear
The five flavors dull the palate
Racing, hunting, and galloping about
only disturb the mind
Wasting energy to obtain rare objects
only impedes one's growth.
+_+_+_+_+
yet only the hole at the center
allows the wheel to spin
Clay is molded to form a cup
yet only the space within
allows the cup to hold water
Wall are joined to make a room
yet only by cutting out a door and a window
can one enter the room and live there
Thus, when a thing has existence alone it is mere dead-weight. Only when it has wu, does it have life.
The five colors blind the eye
The five tones deafen the ear
The five flavors dull the palate
Racing, hunting, and galloping about
only disturb the mind
Wasting energy to obtain rare objects
only impedes one's growth.
+_+_+_+_+
Black Cat *Mixed Dao*
The black cat was elegant, graceful, and seemed to glide across the earth. The goal was to get a warm, soothing glass of milk. Some meat to chew on, and some kindness from those who would be able to give it.
How often was he chased away by a broom, or kicked around by the mean people of society. So often has pain followed him, so often has a person led him in just to hurt him, how could he trust anyone.
Living in the cold night, sleeping on the hard miserable earth. Finding leaves to sleep upon, but offering no cushioning against the harsh earth. Climbing trees to escape danger, or hiding and only prowling the night.
The night seems safest to him, the darkness giving him stealth. Black on black making him seem invisible upon the world. Those that do see in his world are not trusted, first they have to prove their intentions are pure and just.
My kindred spirit, my brother of nature, we share so many similarities. I am not sure I really want to trust anyone again with my heart? I stay far away from the broom stick. I wonder if there is a kind soul out there that I can trust, that will feed me out of kindness of their heart. Not pity, no sympathy, but out of kindness. I wonder when I will find the warm comfortable bed to lie in?
I don't think I am ready to go back to the world just yet. It has rejected me so many times, and I have rejected it so many times as well. Listening to my music, and I can't remember their faces, the eye colors, or much of anything else. I see their pages and just an emptiness remains. No pain, no sadness, the wish or feeling that I will die without them has gone like the black fur at night.
Disassociated from me in this reality, detached from my life. Looking back just one day ago, I realize that many more things have been detached from me, from my mind, from my life.
Upon being complimented on my decorating skills, it did nothing inside me. No sudden jolt of a feeling. I decorate just to avoid seeing bare walls, seeing an emptiness, it seems incorrect if something is not on a wall.
Upon seeing my best friend from high school, there was no feeling of comradeship, no anger, no nothing. I suppose maybe it is not time to leave this state of Flux, I suppose I am comfortable in this area. It is where I can not get hurt, betrayed, or destroyed.
I don't remember her curves, I don't remember her voice, at times I don't remember being married for a time. The person is special to me, all of them were, but nothing but a fading memory exists, a hazy memory at best.
The conversation turned toward my Ex-wife when we met. Name calling came as soon as the conversation turned that way. To me though she is a person that made a choice. So it hurt or what I thought was hurt me. Still her choice may lead to another persons happiness.
There are reasons thing occur the way they do. The river that flows south, should never be forced to flow north. People make decisions based on the moment, then later if the decisions were found out to be incorrect they fear to admit it, they push on, they fight through it.
But how can any decision be incorrect? If things were meant to be then how can one really see it as a poor decision. Why should anything really affect us in a positive manner, or negative?
My ballads from Kamelot make me tear up, but not in sadness. The songs are beautiful, they fit in my reality so nicely, so flawlessly. The black cat in me searches for a hand that is pure kindness, pure wisdom, and pure love. Just like a black cat though the people chase it away, abuse the stray, and tries to kill the cat.
Death though only provides a doorway to rebirth. Death of a lifestyle provides an opening to a new one. The life I knew is over, death came swift and silent however, the new light seems to be an older light. The study of the sages, the writings, the detachment from all things that caused conflict in my life. How do you do the things that once caused such conflict, without having the same conflict? Detached, and remove the core thing that caused the conflict, remove the emotion the thought behind the conflict. Without the thought and emotion how can one truly encounter conflict?
You know I have seen in the last couple of days a new thing start to occur in me. I have not been studying the sages, nor going to Tai Chi, but my hands seem to enjoy resting by my stomach within each other with the palms facing up. They seem very relaxed in this state. It is a nice feeling, I can't explain it, it is not emotional but it is a soothing type of feeling.
Yet still the garden is present in my mind, still the growing of life and harvesting of food is present in my mind. The idea of leaving the socialized world yearns from within me. Tis not the time yet, before I leave I must handle the loose ends in this style of life. Hence the reason I have not just packed up, dropped the rope here, and started walking to that garden.
How often was he chased away by a broom, or kicked around by the mean people of society. So often has pain followed him, so often has a person led him in just to hurt him, how could he trust anyone.
Living in the cold night, sleeping on the hard miserable earth. Finding leaves to sleep upon, but offering no cushioning against the harsh earth. Climbing trees to escape danger, or hiding and only prowling the night.
The night seems safest to him, the darkness giving him stealth. Black on black making him seem invisible upon the world. Those that do see in his world are not trusted, first they have to prove their intentions are pure and just.
My kindred spirit, my brother of nature, we share so many similarities. I am not sure I really want to trust anyone again with my heart? I stay far away from the broom stick. I wonder if there is a kind soul out there that I can trust, that will feed me out of kindness of their heart. Not pity, no sympathy, but out of kindness. I wonder when I will find the warm comfortable bed to lie in?
I don't think I am ready to go back to the world just yet. It has rejected me so many times, and I have rejected it so many times as well. Listening to my music, and I can't remember their faces, the eye colors, or much of anything else. I see their pages and just an emptiness remains. No pain, no sadness, the wish or feeling that I will die without them has gone like the black fur at night.
Disassociated from me in this reality, detached from my life. Looking back just one day ago, I realize that many more things have been detached from me, from my mind, from my life.
Upon being complimented on my decorating skills, it did nothing inside me. No sudden jolt of a feeling. I decorate just to avoid seeing bare walls, seeing an emptiness, it seems incorrect if something is not on a wall.
Upon seeing my best friend from high school, there was no feeling of comradeship, no anger, no nothing. I suppose maybe it is not time to leave this state of Flux, I suppose I am comfortable in this area. It is where I can not get hurt, betrayed, or destroyed.
I don't remember her curves, I don't remember her voice, at times I don't remember being married for a time. The person is special to me, all of them were, but nothing but a fading memory exists, a hazy memory at best.
The conversation turned toward my Ex-wife when we met. Name calling came as soon as the conversation turned that way. To me though she is a person that made a choice. So it hurt or what I thought was hurt me. Still her choice may lead to another persons happiness.
There are reasons thing occur the way they do. The river that flows south, should never be forced to flow north. People make decisions based on the moment, then later if the decisions were found out to be incorrect they fear to admit it, they push on, they fight through it.
But how can any decision be incorrect? If things were meant to be then how can one really see it as a poor decision. Why should anything really affect us in a positive manner, or negative?
My ballads from Kamelot make me tear up, but not in sadness. The songs are beautiful, they fit in my reality so nicely, so flawlessly. The black cat in me searches for a hand that is pure kindness, pure wisdom, and pure love. Just like a black cat though the people chase it away, abuse the stray, and tries to kill the cat.
Death though only provides a doorway to rebirth. Death of a lifestyle provides an opening to a new one. The life I knew is over, death came swift and silent however, the new light seems to be an older light. The study of the sages, the writings, the detachment from all things that caused conflict in my life. How do you do the things that once caused such conflict, without having the same conflict? Detached, and remove the core thing that caused the conflict, remove the emotion the thought behind the conflict. Without the thought and emotion how can one truly encounter conflict?
You know I have seen in the last couple of days a new thing start to occur in me. I have not been studying the sages, nor going to Tai Chi, but my hands seem to enjoy resting by my stomach within each other with the palms facing up. They seem very relaxed in this state. It is a nice feeling, I can't explain it, it is not emotional but it is a soothing type of feeling.
Yet still the garden is present in my mind, still the growing of life and harvesting of food is present in my mind. The idea of leaving the socialized world yearns from within me. Tis not the time yet, before I leave I must handle the loose ends in this style of life. Hence the reason I have not just packed up, dropped the rope here, and started walking to that garden.
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
Sanity Another gift from perception... *Neutral Dao*
Step by step the Doaist walks a circle, planting every step with intent, using muscles not normally used in walking. The retreat to Jade Cove was personal to him. He retreated and became a Daoist to get away from the negative, and the positive. He wanted balance in his life, he was tired of choosing one over the other. As he continued to walk the circle in moving mediation a subject came up. Sick people, mental illness, and perceptions people have. Reality to one, is not reality to another.
Some call me sick, angry, or evil. Here is what I do know, I am a depressed person, I am delusional at times, I am even anxious at times. All things that all people have at some point. Thing is in my reality people are nice to one another, people are kind, and people are giving.
My reality does not exist in today's time though. Why do people expect the worse or see the worse in things. Look around, open your eyes and your will see. The probability of something not going rght or being right is higher than it ever was. A person that sees things as the worse case scenario I do not consider sick or perverse or anything. If I did have to say something about it, I would say they are realistic, they have a high probability of being correct.
The above image is how everyone is in my reality. Plugged into some form of society rule, or religious exponent, or just into what they believe is right. But that is my reality that I see, it is not wrong or right, it just is. Your reality may be different. But I have two realities.
Reality 1 is what I see in the light of day, my interactions with people, my views of them, the questionable deeds they think of or do. The truth is everyone out there has lead me to create the secondary reality. I live there most of the time. It is a much happier reality than the one I physically live on.
In this reality things are happier, I love people, even though I stay away from them. Sometimes the best love, is long distance. It is a reality where the integral safety of my core being can not be hurt, can thrive and can be itself.
It is a place full of love without ever really experiencing love. This is the reality I live in and gives me the ability to open doors for strangers, to entertain people at work, or to write without the emotions clouding and betraying the writing.
A red rose as with the morning dew glistening off it. A sentence like this initiates something inside the reader. Unfortunately for me it is just a language twist, no emotions arise from this, I do not associate it with the typical ideas others do. Ideas of love, beauty, etc. How can I associate it with anything when my secondary reality has a balance, nothing good nothing bad, no light, and no darkness to it.
I am delusional, for a long time I believed I was an angel, but now the delusion has gone away. What am I today. A person that just wants to grow a farm, not deal with the world, and live life with no ill intent. Just a person who wants the secondary reality to become the primary reality.
Next time your at the doctors explain my behavior and they may say DPD or Depersonalization Disorder, but me I am fine with my realities, I am fine with it causing large gaping holes of time where I do not talk to anyone. For the friends that are present understand that is who I am. Why change it, why drug it up, if this reality is better than the current one, why take it away.
Sick I would be called, deranged, lunatic, etc. That is fine by me, call me what you will because in my reality your stilled loved, in my reality nothing can harm me. In my reality no tags are put on people, just actions. In my reality people are not called sick, or twisted, but again they are not called good or evil either. They are just called people. I try to understand their reality, I try to understand their views. But when it comes down to it, I flee back to my reality, where things make more sense. Where people are kind to one another, and gives me the ability to wear my heart on my sleeve without getting hurt.
Well that is all I have today. Lack of sleep, lack of many things at the moment.
Council *True Dao*
Was reading a note and came across one stating they gave good council. I thought the writing was well written with good intent. It was about perceptions and things of that nature.
The issue I saw, was when done on perception then the writing itself is a perception of the writer and not of the subject. Perception is in the eye of the beholder, and the beholder is the writer writing it, or in the reader reading it.
There was a section where it is mentioned the writer as giving good council. Every council people offer is intended to be good I believe. No council is meant to hurt or harm a person. Why couldn't it be just council though?
When you label an thing as good or bad isn't that just a perception going on as well. Write about perception and perception will generally lead to deception in the writing. Council is council. Advice is advice. When one labels it good or bad it is a calling card for betrayal of intent. I like the sound of that actually as it fits so many in the world.
When a friend comes looking for advice give your opinion of the matter from the heart, have their interests motivating the conversation, and not a hidden agenda of I am providing good or my words are good. The hidden agenda is recognition, and recognition is a request for fame, request for fame negates the true nature of giving and becomes receiving, and when one receives the act of when giving be kind is trampled on.
Instead give council, only give what is needed. If you only give what is needed then you did not good and no bad but just did what was needed.
To receive council is easy, to give council is hard, and to give good council is impossible. Giving council could impact another persons life and should never be taken lightly, and never should one feel that they offered good or sound council. When one become complacent in labeling the council, they then forget the reason they give council, or the impact it could have on a life.
Would those they understand speak, would those that speak understand. My writings are mine, my writings are not a claim to fame, are not meant to help others, but are only thoughts in my own little world. Do I want a person to remember me when I am gone, I would prefer they not look to me in the memory but continue going forward without my presence.
Anything I did on this plane of existence was what was needed at the time. No good nor no bad was ever intended. No claim for fame was ever wanted. Only thing I ever want to be is a humble person with a humble life, that can be a piece of a bigger puzzle, and provide support to the pieces that fit next to me in the greater puzzle.
This concept deserves no claims, no acknowledgement, and no praise. It is what it should be. When council is given do not give it lightly, when being kind be kind. Perception is just a perception, the way one sees a thing is the way they see it. Instead of labeling a subject as evil, or perverse, or sick, one should remove their own thoughts and their own perception of things.
Humanity will always be human and to human is to err. Great thing about the Dao teaching is it states the this idea. One should not judge least you be judged is the concept he included, but calling people sick and calling them perverse is judgement in it's base form. Instead I would embrace this as a opportunity to practice the balance. Without those in life thinking this way we could not have the ones that think on the opposite spectrum. Instead of being judgemental put the idea in a analogy to cut the writers perception bleeding in.
Some people are mountains, and some rivers. Some are non-moving in their ideas and ways but without them the river can not flow from elevation differences. If those people out there that this article referenced as perverse or sick, then the river would not flow.
Reap what you sow. As you live, so will you die.
If this is an eternal concept then I must tell you the future. I am not afraid of death, I love all people, I just hate some of their ideas and the way they hurt one another. I wear my heart on my sleeve. That is the way I was born and so to that is the way I will die.
I strive to be a sage but understand I will never be able to claim that title. I live in contradiction, but balance them to coexist and be peaceful with each contradiction. The way of life is to come to grips with contradictions and finding the balance between. Instead of sick people, I see them as still trying to find a balance, still trying to find a harmony within.
The article was good though with a good intent, however the article betrays the intent. It betrays the removal of self when it comes to council, it removes the prejudice of the writer and most importantly it also casts judgement on people.
The article mentions how people should mind their own business. I smile at this part because the first part of this was what I have said over years and years. "Don't worry about what other people think of you." Never did the saying judge or be rude to people. But now on this page I see it written as:
Don't worry about what other's think, they should mind their own business.
So does this mean that the receiver of this kind of information should not worry about what you just thought, that they should just mind their own business? The way this is presented is not well thought out of, and very negative in thought, but that is my perception. The idea is good but the delivery needs worked upon. When giving advice (council) one should choose their words very carefully.
Never have I referenced something like giving good council, or good advice. I simple call it what it is, council or advice. Time will tell when it is good or bad, but if I call it this our that it shows Bias opinion. Besides what seems to be good may show good at the beginning but end worse than if no advice was ever given. This is the reason one should always consider advice and take long moments to carefully choose their words and thoughts before responding.
Regina was given advice. So far she is doing well but only time will tell. Was it good advice? No I only gave her what she already knew inside. I only gave her what was needed to be heard for her at that time, however time will tell if it was correctly given or a false idea of what was supposed to be heard.
Until I die and they person that was given the advice should call me good council or good advice. What seems to be good for one person may end up causing a nightmare for another. This is the reason we should always when giving advice choose our words carefully and let the answers come from inside the person receiving the advice. Cultivate the internal answer to want to jump out, that way it seems like you did nothing at all.
Instead of trying to change people like I did so many times in the past. I have found a knew idea, have people change themselves. I would rather not be responsible for change or force something that would never happen. Instead nurture the inner self of the person, if you lead with the love and goal of happiness of the person what ever that maybe, then the person will show you where that happiness goes to. It may not be what you believe it to be.
When one finds the happiness the ideas and prejudice disappears. The angst and violence goes to the side. Anger comes and quickly fades. Grudges no longer able to be formed, and life comes to become a better view for all.
Don't limit the view of yourself
Don't despise the conditions of your birth
Don't resist the natural course of your life.
For a while I despised my birth, I fought the course of my life, and I gave limit to my view. With this being said would I have been the sick or perverse person this guy talked about, am I sick?
For a long time I was lost, but even being lost my true course came out, no matter how much you hide, or shut down yourself to stop the inevitable it always finds a way to be. That is why it is inevitable. The course of ones life is inevitable, why resist it. Why change it. If the river flows north allow it to flow north.
All the people said this article was good. I even thing it was don't get me wrong. But the article betrayed the intent. The intent was good, the article betrayed it though. So many people in life stuck on evil and good people. If people where taught a humble life from the start and the general principles of nature maybe they would not lead evil or sick lives. Evil people have good in them and Good people hides the evil in their hearts. Occasionally you have a person that fits no where of the two but sits balanced on the edge of both. Sick some call them, evil the good calls them, and good the evil calls them. Sometimes a person is just misunderstood and people perceive it as them not liking things or them criticizing others.
This is the whole perception idea. If one opens their eyes and sees truth for truth, then it is still considered a perception if someone else disagrees or sees a different truth. Sometimes there is more than one truth that is present, be careful what you see for there may be more than what you see, truth to one can be a lie to another, a lie can be seen as truth.
Before quoting the sayings look within and find them true to oneself. Constantly try to expand and contemplate them for you may find that they hold more than one truth in them.
The issue I saw, was when done on perception then the writing itself is a perception of the writer and not of the subject. Perception is in the eye of the beholder, and the beholder is the writer writing it, or in the reader reading it.
There was a section where it is mentioned the writer as giving good council. Every council people offer is intended to be good I believe. No council is meant to hurt or harm a person. Why couldn't it be just council though?
When you label an thing as good or bad isn't that just a perception going on as well. Write about perception and perception will generally lead to deception in the writing. Council is council. Advice is advice. When one labels it good or bad it is a calling card for betrayal of intent. I like the sound of that actually as it fits so many in the world.
When a friend comes looking for advice give your opinion of the matter from the heart, have their interests motivating the conversation, and not a hidden agenda of I am providing good or my words are good. The hidden agenda is recognition, and recognition is a request for fame, request for fame negates the true nature of giving and becomes receiving, and when one receives the act of when giving be kind is trampled on.
Instead give council, only give what is needed. If you only give what is needed then you did not good and no bad but just did what was needed.
To receive council is easy, to give council is hard, and to give good council is impossible. Giving council could impact another persons life and should never be taken lightly, and never should one feel that they offered good or sound council. When one become complacent in labeling the council, they then forget the reason they give council, or the impact it could have on a life.
Would those they understand speak, would those that speak understand. My writings are mine, my writings are not a claim to fame, are not meant to help others, but are only thoughts in my own little world. Do I want a person to remember me when I am gone, I would prefer they not look to me in the memory but continue going forward without my presence.
Anything I did on this plane of existence was what was needed at the time. No good nor no bad was ever intended. No claim for fame was ever wanted. Only thing I ever want to be is a humble person with a humble life, that can be a piece of a bigger puzzle, and provide support to the pieces that fit next to me in the greater puzzle.
This concept deserves no claims, no acknowledgement, and no praise. It is what it should be. When council is given do not give it lightly, when being kind be kind. Perception is just a perception, the way one sees a thing is the way they see it. Instead of labeling a subject as evil, or perverse, or sick, one should remove their own thoughts and their own perception of things.
Humanity will always be human and to human is to err. Great thing about the Dao teaching is it states the this idea. One should not judge least you be judged is the concept he included, but calling people sick and calling them perverse is judgement in it's base form. Instead I would embrace this as a opportunity to practice the balance. Without those in life thinking this way we could not have the ones that think on the opposite spectrum. Instead of being judgemental put the idea in a analogy to cut the writers perception bleeding in.
Some people are mountains, and some rivers. Some are non-moving in their ideas and ways but without them the river can not flow from elevation differences. If those people out there that this article referenced as perverse or sick, then the river would not flow.
Reap what you sow. As you live, so will you die.
If this is an eternal concept then I must tell you the future. I am not afraid of death, I love all people, I just hate some of their ideas and the way they hurt one another. I wear my heart on my sleeve. That is the way I was born and so to that is the way I will die.
I strive to be a sage but understand I will never be able to claim that title. I live in contradiction, but balance them to coexist and be peaceful with each contradiction. The way of life is to come to grips with contradictions and finding the balance between. Instead of sick people, I see them as still trying to find a balance, still trying to find a harmony within.
The article was good though with a good intent, however the article betrays the intent. It betrays the removal of self when it comes to council, it removes the prejudice of the writer and most importantly it also casts judgement on people.
The article mentions how people should mind their own business. I smile at this part because the first part of this was what I have said over years and years. "Don't worry about what other people think of you." Never did the saying judge or be rude to people. But now on this page I see it written as:
Don't worry about what other's think, they should mind their own business.
So does this mean that the receiver of this kind of information should not worry about what you just thought, that they should just mind their own business? The way this is presented is not well thought out of, and very negative in thought, but that is my perception. The idea is good but the delivery needs worked upon. When giving advice (council) one should choose their words very carefully.
Never have I referenced something like giving good council, or good advice. I simple call it what it is, council or advice. Time will tell when it is good or bad, but if I call it this our that it shows Bias opinion. Besides what seems to be good may show good at the beginning but end worse than if no advice was ever given. This is the reason one should always consider advice and take long moments to carefully choose their words and thoughts before responding.
Regina was given advice. So far she is doing well but only time will tell. Was it good advice? No I only gave her what she already knew inside. I only gave her what was needed to be heard for her at that time, however time will tell if it was correctly given or a false idea of what was supposed to be heard.
Until I die and they person that was given the advice should call me good council or good advice. What seems to be good for one person may end up causing a nightmare for another. This is the reason we should always when giving advice choose our words carefully and let the answers come from inside the person receiving the advice. Cultivate the internal answer to want to jump out, that way it seems like you did nothing at all.
Instead of trying to change people like I did so many times in the past. I have found a knew idea, have people change themselves. I would rather not be responsible for change or force something that would never happen. Instead nurture the inner self of the person, if you lead with the love and goal of happiness of the person what ever that maybe, then the person will show you where that happiness goes to. It may not be what you believe it to be.
When one finds the happiness the ideas and prejudice disappears. The angst and violence goes to the side. Anger comes and quickly fades. Grudges no longer able to be formed, and life comes to become a better view for all.
Don't limit the view of yourself
Don't despise the conditions of your birth
Don't resist the natural course of your life.
For a while I despised my birth, I fought the course of my life, and I gave limit to my view. With this being said would I have been the sick or perverse person this guy talked about, am I sick?
For a long time I was lost, but even being lost my true course came out, no matter how much you hide, or shut down yourself to stop the inevitable it always finds a way to be. That is why it is inevitable. The course of ones life is inevitable, why resist it. Why change it. If the river flows north allow it to flow north.
All the people said this article was good. I even thing it was don't get me wrong. But the article betrayed the intent. The intent was good, the article betrayed it though. So many people in life stuck on evil and good people. If people where taught a humble life from the start and the general principles of nature maybe they would not lead evil or sick lives. Evil people have good in them and Good people hides the evil in their hearts. Occasionally you have a person that fits no where of the two but sits balanced on the edge of both. Sick some call them, evil the good calls them, and good the evil calls them. Sometimes a person is just misunderstood and people perceive it as them not liking things or them criticizing others.
This is the whole perception idea. If one opens their eyes and sees truth for truth, then it is still considered a perception if someone else disagrees or sees a different truth. Sometimes there is more than one truth that is present, be careful what you see for there may be more than what you see, truth to one can be a lie to another, a lie can be seen as truth.
Before quoting the sayings look within and find them true to oneself. Constantly try to expand and contemplate them for you may find that they hold more than one truth in them.
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
Inspiration Found. *Wisdom Dao*
The Jade cove is silent today. Nothing moves inside the cove as if time itself has locked away all the elements. Sitting in meditation waiting for the inspiration to come, and then a Communique came. Inspiration in hidden view. So this feature goes out to my friend, a thought to bring spring upon her winter.
Age has hit me today, My neck is sore, and it feels sore all the way through the bones. I feel old, I feel ancient today. These days are hard on the physical body, but brings me close to the sages. The status read:
Today is one of those days that you just wish you had someone at home to hold and hug you.
Your winter has been present but reflection has just started. When reflecting do not be rough on yourself. Do not focus on could of or would of, instead focus on at least this goods time that occurred or the goods time and the growth that took place. Life is like a child, you grow in spurts.
Think of life as a garden. The first year you plant the corn on the southern section of the garden, then next year you rotate your crops and plant them on the north. During times growth will come from sections in life that are unseen, some from relationships, some from lovers, and some just come from friends.
If you put the corn back in the southern field the second year it will produce less corn and growth is limited. Why? This is because of the nutrients needed were used the previous year for the same type of crop.
Your life is a garden, take well to weed the fields, hoe the ground, and water the plants. If you do not do this daily, then when you do finally get to it the weeds have overgrown, the plants seem dry, and the ground hard. One can still work at the garden and eventually get it back into working order, provided they just work little bit by little bit on catching it up.
Life provides a drought, or a monsoon to try to ruin the garden, but tend the garden and even the harshest weather can not deter growth of the vegetation.
Play the plants some calming music and the better they react, water the vegetation and the more it grows.
Survival means struggle. When one refers to survival mode, then one references to struggle. A thing that is taught in the way is to be like a reed, learn to bend and to give to the pressures and struggles and one will never have to survive.
Life is meant to live, not to survive. The source of stress is from the one receiving the stress. Some things need to be done that could have been done long ago. Learn to bend like a reed, least you get blown over like the Oak.
Time is forgiving, and forgiving oneself is always the hardest than forgiving others. One must learn to let go, to accept what is, is what is needed, and what is not, is not needed at this time. You say there are things that are confusing you, let us help you. You say how can someone understand... How can we not understand, as we have known you since school. The patches in life that we were not there for can easily be filled in, and can easily be worked out with the help of friends.
True friends, those that love you no matter what. Those with no other thought than your happiness are around you. The farmer takes care of the garden, but the garden supplies the farmer with substance.
Put your hands in the soil, dig the weeds out, the longer one waits the more weeds there will be. Time is a matter of concept, how can one do this and that and handle 1000 things in one day. Step by step, thing by thing. Weed the garden, then hoe the garden, and then water. When more than one thing is present focus on doing one thing completely before moving to the next. If the issue was there yesterday, it will be there tomorrow if time did not allow you to get to it today.
Worry not, the garden of life is much more resilient than what is thought of. If you are put into a state of winter for years, you will hit spring sooner or later. But winter presents us the opportunity to reflect and see our growth, see our accomplishments, and allow us to remember good times. If one focuses on bad thoughts or the thought of loss, then one seems to loose the times of happiness they could enjoy.
So what is needed at this point, the answers are known, the garden awaits your arrival, waiting for you hands to bring order back to it's wild growth. When you are sad the garden is empty and the fruit and vegetables are no where to be seen, when you are happy, the vegetation springs to life and produces fruits and vegetables.
Age has hit me today, My neck is sore, and it feels sore all the way through the bones. I feel old, I feel ancient today. These days are hard on the physical body, but brings me close to the sages. The status read:
Today is one of those days that you just wish you had someone at home to hold and hug you.
Your winter has been present but reflection has just started. When reflecting do not be rough on yourself. Do not focus on could of or would of, instead focus on at least this goods time that occurred or the goods time and the growth that took place. Life is like a child, you grow in spurts.
Think of life as a garden. The first year you plant the corn on the southern section of the garden, then next year you rotate your crops and plant them on the north. During times growth will come from sections in life that are unseen, some from relationships, some from lovers, and some just come from friends.
If you put the corn back in the southern field the second year it will produce less corn and growth is limited. Why? This is because of the nutrients needed were used the previous year for the same type of crop.
Your life is a garden, take well to weed the fields, hoe the ground, and water the plants. If you do not do this daily, then when you do finally get to it the weeds have overgrown, the plants seem dry, and the ground hard. One can still work at the garden and eventually get it back into working order, provided they just work little bit by little bit on catching it up.
Life provides a drought, or a monsoon to try to ruin the garden, but tend the garden and even the harshest weather can not deter growth of the vegetation.
Play the plants some calming music and the better they react, water the vegetation and the more it grows.
Survival means struggle. When one refers to survival mode, then one references to struggle. A thing that is taught in the way is to be like a reed, learn to bend and to give to the pressures and struggles and one will never have to survive.
Life is meant to live, not to survive. The source of stress is from the one receiving the stress. Some things need to be done that could have been done long ago. Learn to bend like a reed, least you get blown over like the Oak.
Time is forgiving, and forgiving oneself is always the hardest than forgiving others. One must learn to let go, to accept what is, is what is needed, and what is not, is not needed at this time. You say there are things that are confusing you, let us help you. You say how can someone understand... How can we not understand, as we have known you since school. The patches in life that we were not there for can easily be filled in, and can easily be worked out with the help of friends.
True friends, those that love you no matter what. Those with no other thought than your happiness are around you. The farmer takes care of the garden, but the garden supplies the farmer with substance.
Put your hands in the soil, dig the weeds out, the longer one waits the more weeds there will be. Time is a matter of concept, how can one do this and that and handle 1000 things in one day. Step by step, thing by thing. Weed the garden, then hoe the garden, and then water. When more than one thing is present focus on doing one thing completely before moving to the next. If the issue was there yesterday, it will be there tomorrow if time did not allow you to get to it today.
Worry not, the garden of life is much more resilient than what is thought of. If you are put into a state of winter for years, you will hit spring sooner or later. But winter presents us the opportunity to reflect and see our growth, see our accomplishments, and allow us to remember good times. If one focuses on bad thoughts or the thought of loss, then one seems to loose the times of happiness they could enjoy.
So what is needed at this point, the answers are known, the garden awaits your arrival, waiting for you hands to bring order back to it's wild growth. When you are sad the garden is empty and the fruit and vegetables are no where to be seen, when you are happy, the vegetation springs to life and produces fruits and vegetables.
Thursday, November 5, 2009
Remember When .... *Reflection Dao*
The bird perched on the jade green branch of the cove. A beautiful young, vibrant red Robin singing the tune of old sages. Singing for the glade and singing the song of remembrance of previous lifetimes.
A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. Saying like these never die they span the ages, span space, time, ideology, religion, spans across color and creed as well. For some reason I can't remember things my Grandfather always said, not anymore. Time and current decisions in life has wiped my memory of many things.
Remember when we played in the snow, doing snowball fights, or building huge snowmen. Building little huts out of the snowball. Digging deep to find a sanctuary away from the stinging deathly cold wind during those days.
Falling down in the snow backwards in order to make snow angels. The act of falling without fear of being hurt and no one to catch you, the nice design that it can create when a child. Being told school would be closed and that today was a snow day. A free day to play and run wild in and outside the house.
Remember when I asked you why you loved me, You said because I have a good heart. Funny how things change in time, my heart is still good and kind and yet you are no where to be seen. Remember when you were pregnant with Jeremy and your mother and you had a fight. I was playing D&D on the westside and when I got your call I drove over to comfort you. To console you. I bet you don't even remember these times.
Remember the time we went bowling and we were so in love. Remember how we acted in Math class. You were the first of many things in my life and I love you now to this day. I am happy you found someone, I am happy you have a beautiful little one. But the questions come to mind do you remember the good times or have you forgotten them like so many people out there forgetting good times.
Remember the time when you had asthma attack and I comforted you and got you water? Remember the heart that time, but yet a heart is not what a relationship is about I guess. Spit on me, hate me, say something and not mean it all this is fine, but my heart will never change. My heart has always leaned toward kindness.
A lot of times the good times are replaced with the bad, or the reality is twisted so one can get through it. When you alter reality then the memories are lost. Without the memories how can you remember when...
For want of a nail the horse was lost. For want of a horse the rider was lost. For want of a rider the message was lost. For want of the message the war was lost.
I have been told that I am gifted with the language and how to put the word puzzle in place to make elegance a standard. Yet with gifts come curses. If I am gifted in speech then I am cursed in relationships. If I am gifted in computers, I am cursed in socialising.
In the Tao Te Ching it sates: Seeing your own smallness is called insight. Honoring your own tenderness is called strength.
If you have never realized how small you actually are then I dare you this. Take another look at a child's sleeping face, or a child's sickened face and see how small you are when compared to the angelic purity of a sleeping child, or the fear of death for a child that is sick.
Remember when you allowed your mother to give your son Amoxicilin that was prescribed for her but cut in half? Remember how sick the child became while fighting the overdose? Remember my tears and my pain in my eyes as I sat as a vigil asking every god to bring the child through this? Do remember the heart then?
Remember when we used to go outside and have races around the house to see who was faster, a race. Grandpa used to declare the winner. Remember Grandpa chewing tobacco and sitting around enjoying the spring and summer seasons. Do you remember.
Remember the fight we had about the child, remember seeing my anger then? It was the only time you ever saw it, but loving me for my heart did nothing for my soul. Remember when you walked in the house and complained about your day, I listened and then reminded you how much your boss really did appreciate you? Remember those times.
Contentment alone is enough...
What is happiness but the lack of sadness, what is despair but the lack of hope. One mans trash is another mans treasure... What i have lost others will gain from, however now I have none left to give the heart too, I have not a person to go home to and give this heart to. Remember when you were giving birth and I pushed you past your limits?
So I do not smile enough to show my emotions, so I don't get excited, even less now than in the past. What is a smile but lack of a frown, a frown the wish to smile.Yet I so wish I could get them both down. Am I sad? I suppose. Am I happy, I suppose so.
Great Truth seems false
Great skill seems clumsy
Great eloquence seems like babble
When did I become humble, when did my heart melt, why is it that emotions are estrange to me? I can't remember these times. Time that would be important to remember, times that have the answers may not be the times that one is searching for. The future is minutes away, yet it will never come. Focus on the now, as it is the middle ground between Future and Past.
Truth is I love the women of my life, I still do, I still hold them inside, probably always will. Remember when I had a cold heart? Many will remember this, few will see the kindness I showed in those brief moments of their lives.
A brief moment, how ironic? A memory is but a brief moment in your life. One that makes a mark, one that will shape you. I remember when you came over that first time, I remember laying in your lap safe and free. I remember running my hands through your hair and paying attention to you. I remember kissing in the car when my mother was taking you home.
I remember the day I decided to write. It was a horrible day in my life. We were in art class and you saw me draw the California Raisin free handed but to scale of the card perfectly. You watched and when the instructor was complimenting my on my skill you said I traced it. It was perfect match, yet you watched me draw it free handed. This was the day I gave up drawing. Soon the Instructor introduced Calligraphy.
My artistic nature revived in the art of words, the artistry of Calligraphy and the use of words to convey the message. A painters brush is only useful if the painter knows what to draw. A pen is mightier than the sword, and as beautiful as a rose.
One's loss is another's gain. What I loose I can feel good that another will gain from the loss. I gain the loss too, I can burden my back with more loss if it helps another gain from it. A heavy load but I would never want another to carry it if I can help it. One day the burden will crush me, tis my heart that keeps it light, tis my heart that keeps the weight off me as much as it can.
A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. Saying like these never die they span the ages, span space, time, ideology, religion, spans across color and creed as well. For some reason I can't remember things my Grandfather always said, not anymore. Time and current decisions in life has wiped my memory of many things.
Remember when we played in the snow, doing snowball fights, or building huge snowmen. Building little huts out of the snowball. Digging deep to find a sanctuary away from the stinging deathly cold wind during those days.
Falling down in the snow backwards in order to make snow angels. The act of falling without fear of being hurt and no one to catch you, the nice design that it can create when a child. Being told school would be closed and that today was a snow day. A free day to play and run wild in and outside the house.
Remember when I asked you why you loved me, You said because I have a good heart. Funny how things change in time, my heart is still good and kind and yet you are no where to be seen. Remember when you were pregnant with Jeremy and your mother and you had a fight. I was playing D&D on the westside and when I got your call I drove over to comfort you. To console you. I bet you don't even remember these times.
Remember the time we went bowling and we were so in love. Remember how we acted in Math class. You were the first of many things in my life and I love you now to this day. I am happy you found someone, I am happy you have a beautiful little one. But the questions come to mind do you remember the good times or have you forgotten them like so many people out there forgetting good times.
Remember the time when you had asthma attack and I comforted you and got you water? Remember the heart that time, but yet a heart is not what a relationship is about I guess. Spit on me, hate me, say something and not mean it all this is fine, but my heart will never change. My heart has always leaned toward kindness.
A lot of times the good times are replaced with the bad, or the reality is twisted so one can get through it. When you alter reality then the memories are lost. Without the memories how can you remember when...
For want of a nail the horse was lost. For want of a horse the rider was lost. For want of a rider the message was lost. For want of the message the war was lost.
I have been told that I am gifted with the language and how to put the word puzzle in place to make elegance a standard. Yet with gifts come curses. If I am gifted in speech then I am cursed in relationships. If I am gifted in computers, I am cursed in socialising.
In the Tao Te Ching it sates: Seeing your own smallness is called insight. Honoring your own tenderness is called strength.
If you have never realized how small you actually are then I dare you this. Take another look at a child's sleeping face, or a child's sickened face and see how small you are when compared to the angelic purity of a sleeping child, or the fear of death for a child that is sick.
Remember when you allowed your mother to give your son Amoxicilin that was prescribed for her but cut in half? Remember how sick the child became while fighting the overdose? Remember my tears and my pain in my eyes as I sat as a vigil asking every god to bring the child through this? Do remember the heart then?
Remember when we used to go outside and have races around the house to see who was faster, a race. Grandpa used to declare the winner. Remember Grandpa chewing tobacco and sitting around enjoying the spring and summer seasons. Do you remember.
Remember the fight we had about the child, remember seeing my anger then? It was the only time you ever saw it, but loving me for my heart did nothing for my soul. Remember when you walked in the house and complained about your day, I listened and then reminded you how much your boss really did appreciate you? Remember those times.
Contentment alone is enough...
What is happiness but the lack of sadness, what is despair but the lack of hope. One mans trash is another mans treasure... What i have lost others will gain from, however now I have none left to give the heart too, I have not a person to go home to and give this heart to. Remember when you were giving birth and I pushed you past your limits?
So I do not smile enough to show my emotions, so I don't get excited, even less now than in the past. What is a smile but lack of a frown, a frown the wish to smile.Yet I so wish I could get them both down. Am I sad? I suppose. Am I happy, I suppose so.
Great Truth seems false
Great skill seems clumsy
Great eloquence seems like babble
When did I become humble, when did my heart melt, why is it that emotions are estrange to me? I can't remember these times. Time that would be important to remember, times that have the answers may not be the times that one is searching for. The future is minutes away, yet it will never come. Focus on the now, as it is the middle ground between Future and Past.
Truth is I love the women of my life, I still do, I still hold them inside, probably always will. Remember when I had a cold heart? Many will remember this, few will see the kindness I showed in those brief moments of their lives.
A brief moment, how ironic? A memory is but a brief moment in your life. One that makes a mark, one that will shape you. I remember when you came over that first time, I remember laying in your lap safe and free. I remember running my hands through your hair and paying attention to you. I remember kissing in the car when my mother was taking you home.
I remember the day I decided to write. It was a horrible day in my life. We were in art class and you saw me draw the California Raisin free handed but to scale of the card perfectly. You watched and when the instructor was complimenting my on my skill you said I traced it. It was perfect match, yet you watched me draw it free handed. This was the day I gave up drawing. Soon the Instructor introduced Calligraphy.
My artistic nature revived in the art of words, the artistry of Calligraphy and the use of words to convey the message. A painters brush is only useful if the painter knows what to draw. A pen is mightier than the sword, and as beautiful as a rose.
One's loss is another's gain. What I loose I can feel good that another will gain from the loss. I gain the loss too, I can burden my back with more loss if it helps another gain from it. A heavy load but I would never want another to carry it if I can help it. One day the burden will crush me, tis my heart that keeps it light, tis my heart that keeps the weight off me as much as it can.
I don't remember anymore why we ever went separate ways, we were kids then. With recent events maybe I still am. My marriage that I treasured in my heart has crumbled. The saying of protect something too much and you are bound to loose it comes to mind. Maybe i am still a kid in some ways. Maybe I will never grow up, but if I did where would my heart go?
Love is the fruit of sacrifice and Wealth is the Fruit of generosity.
Sacrifice, what is sacrifice but another word. An idea that one puts themselves out to benefit another. As much as I love Lao Tzu I do not see it sacrifice if I can make another happy even if it is for just a brief moment in their existence. How can one not have wealth if they give for the sake of giving, if they just want to see a smile or make someones day. Wealth is truly in the act of giving just to be kind.
I gave you Diamonds, and Jewelry. I gave you a wardrobe of lingerie. Remember when I used to buy everything I thought you would like, and yet really wanted nothing but your happiness. That happiness seems to be without me in your life now, but as long as your happy, and were when we shared a space of your life, then how can I not be wealthy?
I gave you money to help with no wish for it back. Just to help you get back on track to see you smile, and have a change in your day. Do you remember that my friend. Do you remember the time when we moved you?
Let all the other in my life have everything, I will be satisfied if they are happy. If I lost them and they are still happy without me, and found a piece of happiness while I was around, then all was accomplished with that chapter of the book. I remember and that is all that is really needed. If the world forgets me, I will never forget them.
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