Moon Light Reflections

The days were spent doing studies. After coming home and homework done, came the chores. The chores involved cleaning the house, tending the garden, doing yard work, tending to the horses, dogs, etc. Seemed like hard work back then. Life was difficult it seemed.

Why is it that in the moon light and lately I have thought of it. I have been in the city now for over 15 years. I have a decent enough job, and although I am no longer married, I am currently happy with my social standing. Somehow I am still not fully happy in this lifestyle.

I think about how rich I was back then, and not a penny to my name. At that time I was skinny, but my body was durable, I was strong but not bulky. I was intelligent, but not lazy in the search.

I remember walking into the garden and pulling up a turnip. Walking down the hillside and rinsing it with water. Then taking a big bit out of it. The thought of that time, makes me reflect.

The moon is said to be sarine, and allows the past to meet the present and future. A truly mystic heavenly body, that allows doors of time to merge together. Mentioning the moon, I now have the image of Luna in the dead of winter, as her lucid rays shines upon the snow.

Back then I did not understand the richness of the world, back then I was just a kid wanting to play. Back then I was very hermit like in nature, and very inexperienced in matters of life.

Presently I sit here behind a computer, working and living life as one of the rat race people. You know for the longest time I wanted to be a millionaire, I wanted money and a comfortable lifestyle, a beautiful model type wife that was loyal and honest, and a couple kids to carry on the family name.

My how I miss the times of my roots. I miss the garden, I miss the hay days that my brothers and I used to do. A nice dark golden suntan, a good days worth of work done, and the feeling after doing so much work in a few hours. Walking up mountainous hills and down into the valley to visit friends or exercise, ah those where the days.

Look at me now in the present. I avoid going out, I hardly ever just get out and walk. I have been trying to lately though. I sit and play computer games and watch TV online mostly. I used to play the recorder in school during my times up there, but look at me no, not a single musical instrument.

When a knife is new sharp and shinny it looks,
Years after dull is the blade and dull the looks,
Once the knife is ready the caretaker can sharpen the blade,
Can polish the outside, and with care make the blade more.
As the newer looking blade has been with the caretaker for years.

When should I sharpen the blade, and polish it up. Has it been dulling enough to take a new edge?

Sorry there is reason in all that. Look at a persons life, at some point in time things don't seem as rich as they were when a person was young, around that point a person looks toward sharpening themselves, and polishing themselves.

Most generally see going back to school, and finding or revitalizing a relationship as the way to polish and sharpen. Honestly this may be their path, as long as they are truly happy in doing this and living with that decision.

For me, I have formed a dream, a realistic dream, even though it will take a lot of work, and time to prepare for this feat. Where people want to go back to school, I want to rebuild, revitalize, and cultivate my essence. Not religion per say which some do as a sharpening tool, but a revitalization of the core person I once was, but not loose the Dao this time. Instead of building a new or revitalizing a relationship, I dream of building a monastery of Dao Philosophy, where even though based on philosophy and return to nature, we will still welcome the Daoist priests, Buddhist monks, and Confucian Scholars. We will attempt to cultivate our kindness, and awaken our essence.

That is my sharpening tool. My dreams which were once the lavish life, has been pushed toward the complete opposite, a life of simplicity. A modest job doing hard work, as a monastery will not run itself, especially in winter.

I want to build the gardens back from my childhood, and increase it to include herbs, spices, etc. I want to have a nice cool crisp of air blow over me in the fall, I want to be able to calmly sit and meditate or perform moving meditation.

So until I can build this I can cultivate my being into one that can perform these things, one that can calm himself, and not have the wants as others have. I can build knowledge on building the monastery and providing power through nature, and find ways of survival even in rough times.

That is the reflection, and the current direction the river is pointing too as the moon light comes down.